


I Hope You All Can Forgive Me

by Cypress_Dream



Category: Persona 4, Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Abuse, Akira "I'll put all my emotions here and then I'll die" Kurusu, Akira's parents are assholes, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Blood and Violence, Bullying, Child Abuse, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Depression, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Flashbacks, Found Family, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I APOLOGIZE, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Isolation, Panic Attacks, Persona 5 Protagonist is from Inaba, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Repression, Self-Harm, Slow Build, Social Anxiety, Suicidal Thoughts, Texting, Violence, Whump, Working Out My Feelings Through Fic, bc of course, but theres good stuff too! it aint all sad, my poor boy, non-royal compliant, oops its gonna be sad, phantom thieves as a family, some of this is just me venting, suicide baiting, thanks p5Royal, vague akechi goro references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:33:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 44,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22471873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cypress_Dream/pseuds/Cypress_Dream
Summary: Based off of the vanilla P5 Post-gameWithout the support of his friends, and left alone in a town who ostracizes him, Akira starts to drown.
Relationships: Kurusu Akira & Phantom Thieves of Hearts
Comments: 237
Kudos: 1325
Collections: Quality Persona Fics





	1. This place has taken all my self esteem

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [like a rusty knife](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16434962) by [canticle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/canticle/pseuds/canticle). 
  * Inspired by [For the Sake of the Magician](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14379723) by [DiLithiumDragon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiLithiumDragon/pseuds/DiLithiumDragon). 



> -Here's my [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/van-goghs-cypress)

Akira knew he had made a mistake the moment he entered back into his hometown.

The familiar roads and shops he passed by would normally put him at ease, but Akira felt himself becoming more tense the closer and closer he got to his home. Akira was sitting in the passenger side of the van, leaning up against the window, trying to focus on the landscape while relative chaos happened around him. All of his friends were currently in a passionate argument about if Ryuji cheated in their game of iSpy, (yes, that bored) while they drove Akira back to his hometown. Akira wanted to enjoy these last few moments with his friends, but he just couldn't shake this overwhelming feeling of dread.

_ I shouldn’t have come back, _ he thought.  _ Maybe I should ask them to turn around.  _ He then quickly disregarded that thought, shaking his head. 

“Hey man, you doing okay?” Makoto taps Akira’s shoulder in a friendly manner, breaking Akira out of his mind.

“I’m fine.” When she seemed unconvinced, Akira added on “It’s just weird seeing this place again.”

“Are you sure? You seem quiet.” She gave him a look of concern.

“What are you talking about?” Ryuji butted in. “He’s always like that!”

Akira simply shrugged, a smile on his face. He tried to shove down his oncoming dread. If not for him, then for the sake of his friends.

“Akirraaaa!” Futaba cried, hitting him on the head from the backseat. “When are we gonna see you again? You’ll come back and visit soon, won’t you?”

“I can probably come back for Golden Week.” Akira responded. 

“That's awesome!” Haru gushed. “That’s not a long wait at all!”

After much debate on which direction to take, they finally pulled into Akira’s driveway.  _ This is it _ . Akira was struck with a strong feeling of finality. He didn't want to leave his seat. He wanted to stay with his friends. He clenched his fist, steadying himself. _ This is something I have to do. No matter how much I don’t want to. _

“So...should we come out and meet your parents?” Makoto asked, looking towards him.

Even just the thought of his friends and his parents interacting made alarm bells signal off in his head. “Definitely not,” Akira said, a nervous smile covering his face. He grabbed his bag that he placed on the floor of the car and opened the passenger door. He looked back at his friends one last time, focusing on each of their faces. “This isn’t goodbye. It’s a...See you later.”

“See ya later dude!”

“Good luck at your new school!”

“Be careful, okay?”

“See you later, Akira!”

“We’ll be sure to stay in contact.”

“I miss you already!”

Akira chuckled, and with one last breath, he got out of the car. He picked up his bags from the back, and after another round of goodbyes, they reluctantly drove away. Akira watched the van as it slowly disappeared down the long street, every single fiber of his being screaming at him to run back to the car. He took a deep breath, and turned around to face his parents house for the first time in a year.

“I’d thought they’d never leave!” Morgana exclaimed, popping his head outside of Akira’s bag. Akira gave a small chuckle, but he felt a strange anxiety building in his stomach. He felt frozen there, standing on the sidewalk in front of his old childhood home. The place hadn't changed at all. In fact, he could still see the same scratch in the bottom corner of the door he accidentally created a few years ago.

“You...gonna head inside? Did we get the right house? I swear, we should’ve never have trusted Ryuji with directions-”

“No. It’s the right house.” Akira sighed, pushing his glasses up further onto his face. He took one last breath and then finally walked over to the house. 

\---------------------

“Hey!” Akira heard his mom shout as soon as he walked in the door. “Kuri! He’s home!” She rounded the corner of the entryway and gave him a strained smile. After an entire year, she had barely changed. Her dark hair was tucked in a neat bun, with a few stray strands of hair falling out of it, as always. She wore a relatively plain outfit, the only remarkable thing on her was a gold necklace she had around her neck.  _ I don’t think I’ve seen her wear that before, _ Akira thought.  _ Must be new. _

“I hope you’re trip wasn't too stressful!” She came up to him and gave him a featherlight hug. “We’ve missed you so much!”

“Not that much.” His father appeared behind her, his gaze piercing and cold. He hadn't changed much either, same dark hair, same plain face. He had a bit of a five o'clock shadow coming in, but otherwise he looked exactly the same as he did one year ago.

“Kuri! Don't say things like that!” 

“What? It’s true. We got on fine without him.” Akira could feel the waves of disappointment radiating off of his father. He quickly looked down, his face hot.

“Oh, your father doesn’t mean that.” She brushed the comment aside, taking Akira’s bag. “I’ll go ahead and put this in your room.”

His mother grabbed the bag forcefully, her pale fingers wrapped tightly around the fabric. The sudden grip caused Morgana to yelp in surprise from inside the bag. Both of Akira’s parents froze, their eyes locked on the bag.

“What do you have in there?” His father demanded.

“I, well…” Akira gave a shaky exhale. “It’s...a cat.”

“A cat?!” His mother quickly opened the black bag, and sure enough, Morgana jumped out. He immediately retreated behind Akira’s leg, trying to become as non-threatening as possible.

“No. No way.” His father declared, staring down Morgana.

Akira bristled. “But-”

“No! I’m not letting you keep an animal here, Akira.” His father turned his gaze to Akira, his arms crossed and expression full of disdain.

“I’ve taken care of it the whole year I was gone.” Akira protested, “I promise, Morgana is really well behaved, he won’t-”

“Yeah right. I’m not letting you keep it.”

“Oh, but Kuri, I’m sure its not-” His mother tried to intervene.

“My house, my rules.” 

“But-”

“No buts! The cat isn’t staying here. My decision is final.” His father shut down his mother’s response, and moved forward to take the cat outside. Akira took a defensive stance, protecting Morgana. His father gave him a fierce look. Akira took a deep breath and tried to channel a bit of Joker’s commanding tone into his voice.

“He’s staying. Or...I go.”

There was a meaningful pause, full of tension. Eventually Akira’s mother spoke up.

“Kuri dear, I’m sure it won’t be that terrible. We can at least keep it for a week, and if it’s truly that annoying, then we can do something about it.”

There was a pause, and then. “Fine.” His father turned around, and Akira felt himself relax a little. “You’ll keep it for the week. You’ll feed it and wash it and take it’s shit outside. I don't wanna see any cat hair, either. If I have to do anything for it, it’s back on the streets.”

His father then vanished into the living room. His mother gave a sympathetic smile, shaking her head as if this was an ordinary occurrence. She leaned down, hand outstretched, and Morgana hesitantly came out from behind Akira to accept pets from her.

“Morgana, huh? Cute name.” She rose and handed Akira back his bag. “Go on upstairs now, Akira. You know how your father is when he gets like this. He’s just in a bad mood.”

Akira grabbed his luggage and headed upstairs, relieved he got to keep Morgana. When reached the upstairs landing, he headed straight towards his old room, taking a look around. The house looked practically the same, with only a few new decorations here and there. One thing he noticed was that all of the photos that included him were replaced with photos of just his parents. Photos of their marriage, their honeymoon, their vacations. You wouldn't have known they had a kid at all. In fact, there was a newer photo hung on the wall Akira hadn't seen before. It was of both of his parents, smiling happily, standing next to a waterfront. You could see a green statue on the water in the distance behind them. Akira wasn’t sure exactly where this picture was taken, but he knew he recognized the statue from somewhere. He sighed, and moved away from the photo.  _ Did they go on vacation?  _ He wondered.

Akira’s room looked exactly as he had left it, except for the fact that it was covered in dust. His dark bed was neatly made, with a few faded posters advertising some outdated manga on his monotone gray walls. His desk was still cluttered, with knick-knacks and papers occupying every space. Even his lamp, which had been knocked over the night he left, was still lying on the ground, the blub partially cracked.  _ My parents haven't set foot in here for a long time _ , he thought, scratching the back of his neck.  _ It’s like I died or something. _

“Jeez, what a mess.” Morgana quipped, leaping up onto Akira’s desk. “I thought I would be out on the streets for a minute there! Thanks for sticking up for me, leader.”

Akira smiled as he placed his bag onto his bed. “No problem.” He began to unpack, laying his clothes and new trinkets from Tokyo onto his dusty bed.

“Are they always like that?” Morgana asked casually, but his gaze looked concerned.

“What do you mean?”

“Like...you know, strict.”

Akira hesitated before responding. “It’s just how it is.” 

He began to unpack, placing his clothes back into their respective drawers. As he did so, all his old clothes, the ones he hadn't bothered to bring with him to Tokyo, stared back up at him. One particular piece of clothing caught his eye. He pulled out an old graphic hoodie that he used to sleep in on cold nights, stroking the worn fabric. It advertised some manga he used to be obsessed with on the front, the picture faded from use. A strong feeling of Nostalgia overtook him, and he felt compelled to put the hoodie on. It was still fairly soft, even if it had one or two holes on the sleeves. For some reason, putting it on gave him an overwhelming sense of safety. 

He sighed, sinking into the fabric. His house felt so different, yet also exactly the same. It was so weird, seeing his parents again after so long. He had almost forgotten what they looked like.  _ Why didn't they call? Were they really just busy? Did they really care? _

He heard footsteps from downstairs, and then heard his mother’s voice. “Dinner will be ready soon, dear, so come down in a few minutes!”

The sudden noise shook him out of his thoughts. Akira nodded, and then realized she couldn't see him. “Alright.” he called back. He then pulled out his phantom thief tapestry from his bag, looking it over before hanging it up on the wall in front of his old posters. He backed up and gazed at it, a small smile on his face.

\--------------

Dinner was a tense affair. Akira’s mother wasn't the best cook in the world, and normally Akira was used to her sub-par cooking. But after a year of Sojiro’s delicious curry, he found himself missing the cafe even more than he already did. Akira’s mother tried to start a conversation, but they never were a talkative family. His father’s face was a stone, staring out into nothing while he ate mindlessly. He occasionally glanced at Akira, expression full of malice. Akira just looked down, focusing on his food and counting the minutes until dinner was over.

Akira also managed to sneak some food for Morgana to eat later. He would buy Morgana proper food tomorrow, as he couldn’t just live off of scrapes. Akira still had plenty of money leftover from his odd jobs in Tokyo, so he didn't see money as being an issue.

Afterwards, Akira helped clean up, taking care of the dishes while his mother watched television in the other room _.  _ He always used to clean up after dinner, back when he lived here.  _ It’s like I never left _ . Akira thought, robotically going through the motions.

“Akira” His father spoke suddenly, causing Akira to startle and almost drop a cup. He looked over and saw his Dad leering over him at the kitchen entrance, his posture tense.

“Uh, yeah?”

“Just so we are clear, the only reason you are here now is because we don't make enough to keep you at Sojiro’s. It was becoming a real financial sink keeping you there, you know. We had no choice but to bring you back here.” Akira’s face grew hot, looking down towards the water in shame. He had forgotten that Sojiro had been paid for taking care of him.  _ I wonder how much they thought I was worth.  _ He thought suddenly.

“I know you feel like a big hotshot, living in the big city where no one knows what you did. But you have no idea how your mistake hurt us. It’s taken us a year to fix our family’s reputation in this town, and I’ll not have you squander that.” 

He took a step closer, placing his hand onto Akira’s shoulder. It took every inch of Akira’s willpower not to flinch away. “You’re going to go to school, come straight home, and cause no trouble while you stay here. Is that clear?”

Akira nodded, quickly scrubbing the dishes to hide his trembling hands. His father took his hand off of his shoulder, turning away quickly.

“Good. The minute you disobey, you’re out of here. You hear me?”

Akira nodded again, staring at the soapy water until he heard his father's footsteps fade away. Akira took a deep breath, mind racing. He knew his father was mad at him, but he didn't think he would be this furious. He had definitely gotten angrier in the time he was gone.

When he was done with the dishes, he went upstairs, flopping onto his bed. He checked his phone and saw that he already had a bunch of messages from his friends.

  


**[Thief time babey!!!] group chat**

  


(Ryuji): I ALREADY MISS U AKIRA

(Ryuji): U DICK

(Ann): He’s going to be insufferable without you here, you know.

(Ryuji): EXCUSE U

(Yusuke): I agree with Ryuji. I am going to miss you greatly.

(Futaba): Hey!! I’m gonna miss him more!!!

  


  


Akira chuckled, a sense of longing taking hold of him. He texts back quickly.

  


  


(Akira): Don’t worry, I’ll be back there in only a month.

(Futaba): ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ

(Ann): I’ll be counting down the days!!

(Yusuke): Futaba how do you do that

(Futaba): What?

(Futaba): You mean ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ?

(Haru): ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ

(Futaba): (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)

(Haru): (✿◉‿◉) 

(Makoto): STOP

  


His mother then entered his room, not bothering to knock, as usual. Akira looked up from his phone as she spoke. “Hey! I just wanted to tell you that you’re starting school in two days, so you shouldn’t sleep in too late tomorrow. Gotta get used to your new sleep schedule and all!”

Akira nodded from his position in bed, and went back to his phone. Futaba and Haru were now spamming the entire group chat with the emoticons, with Ryuji joining in. He smiled, and was about to respond with his own emoticon when he noticed his mother frowning at his tapestry. “The Phantom Thieves?” She inquired.

“Uh, yeah? What about them?”

His mother looked disappointed. “You shouldn't hold those people up on a pedestal Akira, they’re... _ criminals _ .”

Akira put down his phone. “You think they’re criminals?”

She nodded. “I don't like them at all. You need to take that down.”

Morgana glared at the women from his spot on the desk, but said nothing. There was a tense silence. Akira cleared his throat. “It’s my room, isn’t it?” 

“Yes, but it’s my house, dear. I want it down by tomorrow.” She gave a cheerful smile and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

Akira sighed and tried to get comfortable in bed, an ache taking over his chest. Sure, she didn't know he was the phantom thief, but that didn't make her comments hurt any less. He lay there, staring at his powered off phone screen. He debated telling the group chat about how his Dad threatened to kick him out, but he didn't want to worry any of his friends. If it came down to it, he could rely on them in a pinch.

“Hellooo? Earth to Akira?”

He was pulled out of his thoughts by a certain cat, who had jumped onto the bed. He looked over, a questioning look on his face.

“You aren’t gonna take down that tapestry, are you?” Morgana asked. 

“You heard her, I got to.”

“Really? You can’t be serious.”

Akira shrugged. “She’d probably just destroy it if I don't take it down myself.” He paused for a yawn. “I’ll take care of it tomorrow.”

Morgana gave Akira a concerned look before sighing. “That’s a shame.” He quickly laid down on a spare pillow that had been placed on the bed, getting comfortable.

Akira placed his phone to charge and turned over, staring at the wall and praying that the month would go by as fast as possible. He already couldn’t wait to see his friends again. He closed his eyes and dreamed of a certain cafe that felt more like a home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp. here we go again. I figured I would publish this BEFORE the Royal comes out. (yes I know it's technically already out but I DON'T READ SPOILERS so this may or may not be canon who knows)  
> -Just so you know, this fic is gonna get REAL SAD REAL QUICK so be please be safe and leave if it makes you uncomfy. I wont hold it against you, I promise.  
> -Also, I'm sticking with Akira. I'm not used to Ren yet. I never will be.  
> -I'm really sorry if the phantom theives seem OOC, they show up a bit later so hopefully I'll get better at writing them  
> -also the manga that was advertised on Akira's walls and his hoodie is 100% Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. You can pry this fact from my cold, dead hands.  
> -Title of the fic and the chapters are from the song Self Esteem by Andrew Jackson Jihad.


	2. Everybody is Afraid of Me

Unsurprisingly, his first day at his old school went almost as poorly as his coming home. It wasn't as bad as Sujin’s first day, nothing can top almost dying in the metaverse, but it was a close second. At least on Sujin’s first day he got a Persona and one Ryuji Sakamoto out of it.

The minute Akira walked outside, Morgana hidden safely in his bag, he received stares. Since it was a small town, pretty much everybody knew about what happened to him, and everybody had an opinion. He was practically famous down here. He could hear his former classmates talking about him as he passed, their tones vicious and sharp. A couple of girls behind him let out a shrill giggle. Akira’s face burned, and he quickly looked down, pushing his glasses higher onto his face.

As Akira got closer and closer to the school, he spotted more of his fellow students. Everyone was standing at least a five foot radius around him. Akira was somewhat used to this, as Sujin was pretty bad with rumors, but they had at least died down over time. Being thrown right back into the rumor mill was disheartening, to say the least.

Suddenly, as he was walking, Akira was bumped by a tall shoulder.

“Watch it, Kurusu.” a familiar voice spat at him.

Akira would’ve paid no mind to it, just another comment out of many, but then he made the mistake of making eye contact with the person who said it. A tall figure. Chestnut eyes. A cleanly pressed shirt.

Roku Arima.

Akira froze in shock while Roku strode off, aggression radiating off of him. Akira stood there, his heart heavy with the realization.

Roku used to be his best friend, one of the only real friends he had. They had been friends since the start of primary school, finding a real connection over some TV show they had both obsessed over as kids. As they grew up, they became interested in the same things, and Akira came to know him almost as well as he knew himself. Akira knew all his family members personally, he connected with all of the pets he owned. They were even going to see a concert together until-

Well. Until.

Now Roku acted as if he didn't even know him, hell, he even called Akira by his last name. As if all of those years didn't happen. As if Akira never existed. 

Akira shook his head and continued walking. He really should be used to this by now, it was bound to happen eventually. All his friends abandoned him once his criminal record got out, he doesn’t see why that would change. He tried to shrug it off, but his heart was still heavy with hurt and nostalgia.

“Who was that?” He heard Morgana ask from within his bag. Akira froze for a moment before shrugging.

“No one important. Not anymore.”

\---------------------------

Stepping into his new classroom, practically all the students in the room were staring at him, their expressions filled with either fear or malice. He quickly walked over to his seat by the window, his heart heavy. Part of him was expecting this reaction, but he had at least hoped of finding _ someone _ who didn't think he was the scum of the earth. 

The teacher walked in soon after, her dark frizzy hair seeming to float around her as she entered the room. The name on her desk read Mrs.Arakaki. She darted around the room, taking up a piece of chalk and beginning to write on the board. She had written down the words  _ Famous Greek Myths _ , along with a few recognizable greek names underneath. She turned back to the class, picking up the paper on her desk and began to take roll.

“Oh, it appears we have a new student. Why don't you get up and introduce yourself?” Mrs. Arakaki said, blue eyes meeting Akira’s

Akira inwardly cringed as he stood up. He let out a sigh as he made his way to the front of the room, feeling almost weighed down from the amount of eyes on him. The hair on the back of his neck stood up as he turned to face the class at the front of the room.

“Well?” Mrs. Arakaki prompted.

“Hi. I’m Kurusu Akira. Though, I’m sure most of you already knew that.”

The other students barely reacted, though he did get a few pointed glares. He wasn't sure what else to say, so he just made his way back to his seat, his hands shoved in his pockets.

“Thank you, Kurusu.” Mrs. Arakaki said incredulously. “Now on with the lesson.” She turned back to the board, immediately going into a lecture on Greek Mythology. Though, it looked as if no one was truly paying attention. All eyes were on Akira, who felt his heart rate start to pick up.  _ Seriously?  _ Akira thought, slouching in his seat.  _ Don’t they have anything better to do then stare?  _

Eventually, people started to pay less attention to Akira and more towards the lesson. Although Akira could feel someone’s eyes on him every so often, for the rest of the class he was mostly ignored. Akira sighed a bit, adjusting the glasses on his face. The lecture wasn’t that stimulating, he remembered some of the myths Mrs. Arakaki was currently explaining from his teaching at Shujin. Akira even felt himself zone out a few times, his mind occupied with what his friends were doing.

During the break, he took out his phone to check his messages. He felt the phone vibrate during class, but with everyone's eyes on him he doubted he could get away with texting back.

**[Thief time babey!!!] group chat**

(Makoto): Do you think we should change the name of the gc

(Makoto): I mean, we technically aren't thieves anymore

(Ryuji): NO!!!!

(Ryuji): HOW COULD YOU?!

(Futaba): Yeah! I’m with Ryuji!

(Futaba): Once a phantom thief ALWAYS a phantom thief 

(Makoto): okay okay calm down

(Makoto): I’m just saying

(Makoto): It’s kinda incriminating

Akira smiled at their texts. It had barely been three days and he already missed his friends presence like a limb. 

**[Akira] changed the group chat name to [Once a Phantom Thief ALWAYS a Phantom Thief]**

(Ann): AKIRA NO

(Makoto): Well now it’s just MORE incriminating. 

(Ryuji): HELL YEAH

(Ryuji): We ride together we DIE TOGETHER

(Ryuji): 💪(◡̀_◡́҂)

(Yusuke): I’m still confused about the faces

(Yusuke): Where are you getting these

(Futaba): I literally SHOWED YOU

(Yusuke): Oh yeah

(Yusuke): I forgot

(Futaba): INARI 

(Yusuke): ¯\\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯

(Yusuke): (─‿‿─)

(Yusuke): You know, these little faces could be an art form in itself

(Ryuji): STOP

(Ann): Yusuke

(Ann): If you send ANOTHER FIVE PARAGRAPH ESSAY ABOUT ART to this gc

(Ann): I WILL LOSE IT

_ Yusuke is typing…. _

Akira felt a smile growing on his face at his friends antics. He was just about to echo Ann’s statement when a chill suddenly ran down his back. He drew his attention away from his phone to see practically everyone’s eyes staring down at him. The smile ran away from Akira’s face quickly. He looked back down at his phone, trying to focus on his friends.

_ None of these people matter _ He told himself, gripping his phone harder. _ If I just ignore them, they’ll stop. _

He scrolled through the many paragraphs Yusuke had sent, trying to center himself. He typed out message, hesitating before pressing send.

(Akira): missing you guys

Before he could see anyone's reply, the bell rang, and Akira reluctantly put his phone away. He leaned back in his seat, letting a sigh slip past his lips as he looked out the window.

\------------------------

Akira was only able to check his phone again during the end of class. 

**[Once a Phantom Thief ALWAYS a Phantom Thief] group chat**

(Ann): AKIRAAAA!! I MISS YOU TOO!!!!

(Makoto): I miss you more!

(Ryuji): Holy shit dude, I miss you like crazy!

(Yusuke): I as well!

(Futaba): Well no duh! I miss you too

(Futaba): And so does Sojiro!

(Makoto): Did he actually say that? Out loud?

(Futaba): lol no

(Futaba): But!

(Futaba): I caught him just standing in the attic

(Futaba): Like he wasn't doing anything he was just standing there

(Ann): Aw! ಥ_ಥ

(Futaba): So yeah, he wouldn't ever admit it but

(Futaba): He misses you! (っ◔◡◔)っ ❤

(Haru) Oh dear, I missed quite a lot of the chat (͠◉_◉᷅ )

(Haru) But I also miss you very much!!!

Akira smiled down at his phone before quickly smothering it. He could still feel the eyes of some of his classmates fixated on him. 

(Akira): Thanks guys

After he shot off a text he then quickly put his phone away so he could focus on getting out of the school building. He got up out of his chair, grabbing his bag as he rose in one fluid motion. He made his way out of the classroom, dodging his way past several of his classmates. He walked through a few hallways before stopping at his new locker. 

When he opened it, he saw a wayward piece of paper float harmlessly out of his locker. He quickly caught it, utilizing his quick reflexes that he honed in the Metaverse. His eyes skimmed over the words, his stomach filling with knots.

_ ‘Go Kill Yourself, You Filthy Criminal’ _

He stared at it for a moment, looking down at the words with a strange feeling of detachment. He sighed, ripping the paper in half and shoved it in his pocket. 

“Jeez” Morgana explained, shifting around in his bag. “Who the heck sent that?”

Akira flinched, he didn't know that Morgana had read it alongside him. He hesitated before speaking. “I dunno.” He took off his school shoes and placed them inside, his heart heavy. Anyone could’ve sent that note. “But it doesn’t really matter.”

She shuts his locker with a bit too much force than he intends, the loud  _ bang _ of the door startling a few onlookers. Akira shrugs in way of an apology, and shoves his hands into his pockets. He makes his way out of the school building, eyes unfocused.

“Are you okay?” Morgana asks, voice laden with concern.

“Yeah.” Akira says. 

_ No _ , Akira thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -short chapter this time, but I hope it was good none the less  
> -The next chapter is gonna be SUPER angsty, so prepare  
> -I'm trying to update this weekly, I have already written large portions of the story but I want to space out the updates. I WILL finish this if it kills me  
> -PLEASE comment, the comments really inspire me to keep writing this dang thing.   
> -Hope you guys enjoyed!


	3. I can't make eye contact with anyone I see

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: ptsd flashback + nightmares

The days passed. And passed. And passed. Unlike Tokyo, where there were many things to do and people to meet, Inaba had practically nothing. A big convenience store, a few local shops. All of which he had been to many times throughout his childhood. Plus, everywhere he went, he got stares and whispers. So going out became more of a necessity than something to do to pass the time.

Akira felt himself stuck in the same routine. Wake up. Go to school. Get harassed. Go home. Eat. Sleep. Repeat. With the Metaverse gone, he couldn’t occupy his time by making lockpicks or going to Mementos. So he just stayed in one spot. Unmoving, while the world around him changed.

Everyday at school more and more people began to shove dehumanizing notes into his locker. It became a pile at the end of the day. Even though the notes were rude and cruel, Akira couldn’t stop himself from reading them.

_ ‘No one wants you here, Kurusu.’ _

_ ‘Go back to Tokyo, you city rat.’ _

_ ‘Kurusu, you should just lie down and rot. It’ll be better that way.’ _

_ ‘You think just because your name got cleared you deserve respect? Once a criminal, always a criminal.’ _

_ ‘Kill yourself.’ _

He always threw them out at the end of the day, but they just kept coming, determined to get a reaction out of him.

\------------

Then there was that horrible day during lunch.

Akira left the classroom to eat that day, too fed up with his fellow students to feel comfortable eating around them. He went up to the roof and situated himself by a corner, the chilly spring wind tossing his already messy hair. The other students on the roof, what few there were, refused to make eye contact with him. Sure, he wasn't completely alone, but at least he didn't have to deal with people talking about him to his face.

He began to eat, checking his phone to see if any of his friends were brave enough to text him during their classes. He got about halfway through the period before a shadow overtook his vision. He looked up.

“Kurusu.”

His old friend, Roku, stood in front of him, expression jeering. He had a few people with him, people Akira didn't recognize.

“Yes?” He answered bluntly.

Roku’s smile somehow grew wider. “You’re always on your phone in class. What’s on there that’s so important?” He leaned over tried to snatch Akira’s phone out of his hand. Akira’s grip held firm, however, and held onto his phone despite Roku’s attempts. Akira stood up in fury, feeling himself move into a defensive stance. 

“Your studies are going to suffer, Kurusu.” Roku said in a mocking tone, his two friends laughing with him. “No dozing off.”

_ “No dozing off.” _

_ It was dark in the room, so dark he could barely see. He took stock of all his senses. The shock of the cold water they had poured on him. The bruises on his face pounding to the beat of his heart. The cold unrelenting metal of the handcuffs as he strained for movement. _

What was happening? Where am I?

_ “You still don't get it do ya?” _

_ A man’s voice. An imposing figure. _

_ “Give it up!” _

_ The world exploded in pure pain. He could feel himself fall over, the impact nearly knocking him out.  _

_ “Come on, corporate. Or what, you want another shot?” _

_ Akira’s memories felt scattered. He had no idea how he ended up here, or even where this place was at all. His vision was blurry, but he could make out some sort’ve red light in the corner of the room. His attention was drawn to it. _

_ “Huh, what about the camera?” _

_ The voice spoke again. Akira flinched, expecting pain to follow. Was the light a camera? _

_ “Do you think it can be used as video evidence?” _

_ Akira’s brain felt too foggy to even begin to answer the question. Video evidence? For what? Where were his friends? _

_ “Didn’t you hear my question? Answer!” _

_ More unrelenting pain dancing over his entire body. He felt as if he was going to be sick. _

Akira blinked. The world had seemed to fade out completely. He felt disoriented.  _ Where…? _

“Akira! Akira, snap out of it!” He heard his name, but he couldn't figure out who was speaking. He couldn't seem to focus. He felt himself sitting down on something cold, but he had no idea where he was. The world was a huge blur of dull blues and greens.

Someone sounded like they were struggling to breath, their ragged and broken breaths sounded so unbearably loud in his eardrums. It took a few more moments than it should have to realize that the breathing was coming from him. 

“Akira!” Oh, that was Morgana. He realized who it was now. “You need to breath!”

_ I’m trying, _ Akira thought but couldn’t say. He felt something soft under his hand, felt it steadily rise and fall.

“Try to sync your breathing to mine.” He heard Morgana’s voice say. Akira obeyed, trying valiantly to get his breathing under control.  _ In, out. In, out. In- _

When he finally snapped out of it, he opened his eyes. He was sitting outside the school, near the back entrance, his knees pulled up to his chest. Morgana was sitting next to him, his hand entangled in Morgana’s black fur. 

“How...How did I end up here?” Akira asked, his sore throat forcing him to cough afterwards.

“You...don't remember?” Morgana asked, his bright blue eyes staring up at him. Akira shook his head lightly. Morgana paused before continuing. “Those guys, they said something and you just...shut down. Like you didn't respond or anything. One of them pushed you, and you bolted. You ran down the stairs and out the door ‘til you collapsed here. I tried to tell you to stop, but...it’s like you couldn’t hear me.”

Akira cringed, holding his head in his hands. _ That’s just great,  _ he thought.  _ Now the rumors are gonna get even worse. _

“...What happened?” Morgana asked. “Why did you just...freeze up like that?”

Akira stared at Morgana blankly. He could lie, but knowing Morgana, he would see through it straightaway. But if he told the truth, it would worry Morgana more than he already was. Akira tried to find the words to make it seem like not a big deal.

“He...He said something that reminded me of the interrogation room.” Akira explained. “I dunno why I reacted like that.”

“...Oh. You mean...after the casino?” Akira nodded. Morgana looked away from him, an unrecognizable expression on his face. 

“I mean, I’m over it.” Akira shrugged. “It happened months ago.”

“...You shouldn’t have had to go through that.” Morgana said suddenly, tone righteous. “Those guys were way too rough with you. If I had known they would drug you, I would’ve never-”

“Morgana.” Akira interrupted, quieting Morgana’s speil. “What’s done is done. The most important thing is that I’m alive.”

“Still. If that’s affecting you, then-”

“It’s not. This won’t happen again.” Akira said assuredly. He suddenly got up, wiping dirt off of himself. “C’mon, the breaks almost over. I’ll need to be in class.” He didn't want to have to continue this conversation anymore. 

Morgana reluctantly got into his school bag, eyes wide with concern. Akira spent the rest of the day shakey and unsure, counting every single second off the clock until the day was over.

\----------------

_ “Obstruction of justice, blackmail. Defamation, possession of weapons...Manslaughter too, yeah? Talk about the works.” _

_ The man, whoever he was, shifted back around to face him. _

_ “To think that all those crimes were led by a punk like this. And you seemed to be enjoying every second of it...Huh?” _

I was...enjoying it?  _ Akira thought, his mind racing.  _ Everything’s hazy… I can’t remember…

_ “...You should know your place” _

_ Without warning, the cold metal of the handcuffs finally gave way. He had barely noticed someone coming up behind him to unlock them. His hands flew to his abused wrists, looking up in a daze at the interrogator. His face was blurry beyond recognition.  _ _ Suddenly he felt himself being thrown across the room. Pain, more intense this time, raced across his body. He let out an unintentional cry of pain. _

_ “Sign here. It’s a confession under your name” _

_ The brightness of the paper felt nearly blinding.  _ I shouldn’t sign this, _ Akira thought. Whatever they were charging him with, he didn't want it. He might go to jail or worse. He batted the clipboard away, eyes bright with rebellion. _

_ “I see.” Akira sees the figure rise. “I need your hand to sign this but…” _

_ Akira’s world was ripped out from under him, replaced with seizing agony.  _

_ “I don't care if you end up losing a leg” _

_ He could physically feel his leg falling off, blood splattering the interrogation room floor. He screamed louder than he ever has, his entire existence focus on the pure, unadulterated  _ **_pain._ **

Akira sat bolt upright in bed, a scream halfway through his throat before he quickly silenced himself. He was breathing heavily, looking around frantically. It took him a few more moments than it should have for him to calm down and realize he wasn't in any danger. He wiped at the sweat on his forehead, staring up at the glow in the dark stars decorating his ceiling. 

_ This is stupid _ , Akira thought.  _ This happened months ago. I should be over this!  _

He looked over at the digital clock on his nightstand. It was currently 3:18am. He shifted his gaze over to Morgana, who was sleeping on a pile of clothes that were serving as his make-shift bed. He would have to use some of his savings to get Morgana something real to sleep on soon. Thankfully, Morgana was undisturbed by his nightmare, and was currently sound asleep.

_ Thank god.  _ Akira thought.  _ I don't want him to be even more worried about me.  _

He quietly got out of bed, careful to not disturb the sleeping cat. He walked over to the bathroom down the hall, rinsing his face and looking at himself in the mirror.

He hesitated for a moment. He pulled down his pants a bit, staring at the mark that was on his upper thigh. Although the bruise had faded, some part of that boot had broken his skin, so there was a visible white scar surrounded by faintly discolored skin. It wasn't obvious, and you could miss it if you weren’t looking for it, but it was there. He traced the line with his thumb, thinking about that night. Why was this happening now? He went months without thinking about that night, locking it away and forgetting about it altogether. Why are the memories of that night affecting him this much?

“ _ This is where your justice ends” _

Akira quickly flinched away from that thought, pulling his pajama pants back up and sighing.

_ I can’t think about it anymore,  _ He decided.  _ It’s over and done with. _

But no matter what he told himself, he couldn't stop feeling as if his stomach was full of bricks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- ahahaha ¯\\_( ╥ ͜ʖ ╥)_/¯  
> \- Akira "I'll put all my emotions right here, and then I'll die" Kurusu  
> -I really hope this wasn't too inaccurate to how real ptsd flashbacks are. My anxiety attacks are nothing like this, so I don't have any experience with writing this sort've thing. Though there WILL be an anxiety attack in the future, don't you worry. ( ͠• ͜ʖ ͡•)  
> -tfw I had to rewatch the prologue to write the interrogation scene and I started crying. MY POOR BOY WHY AM I DOING THIS  
> \- We are gonna get a P4 character cameo next chapter. (👍≖‿‿≖)👍 Get ready gamers  
> -Thank you so much for all the likes and comments! They really help me stay inspired to write this!  
> -College may be kicking my ass but I PROMISE I will get these updates out relatively soon.   
> -I love you guys! Stay safe! ♥


	4. I'm afraid to go out in the streets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: Violence and suicide baiting

After that incident, the harassment got a lot worse.

The story was over the entire school by the next day. The stares of fear and hesitation his classmates gave him were replaced by looks of animosity. People started to openly try to trip him up in hallways, and if he ever stumbled he was met with a chorus of laughter. It was as if his peers suddenly saw him as the weakest link, and were determined to get him out by any means necessary. They also started to fill his locker with more and more targeted notes.

_ ‘Everyone would be happier if you died’ _

_ ‘You act all big, but really you’re just a coward Kurusu.’ _

_ ‘Go lie down and rot.’ _

_ ‘I hope they find you guilty again and throw you back in jail’ _

_ ‘Kill yourself, city rat.’ _

His locker would usually be completely overrun with notes by the end of the day. Whenever he would clean them all out, the notes would just come back in full force. Eventually, someone wrote ‘GO DIE’ on the outside of his locker. Akira tried to report it, but no teacher took him seriously. And when it happened again, Akira didn't even bother to report it, he just rubbed it off.  _ What good would it do? No one would get in trouble and it would just happen again. _ He rationalized.

After school, most of his spare time he was in bed, dicking around on his phone. He just felt so exhausted after dealing with everyone’s harassment the entire day that he would just fall right asleep as soon as he got home. Morgana would often have to wake him up for dinner, and once that was done all Akira felt like doing was going right back to sleep. He knew he was making Morgana worried, but he couldn't figure out how to stop. 

He was in the middle of doing just that, lying on his bed and playing some colorful meaningless game on his phone as usual when Morgana pounced on his stomach.

“Akiraaaa!!” Morgana yowled. Akira looked up from his phone.

“What?”

“I’m so bored!” Morgana moaned, stretching out his front paws. “We should go out and do something!”

“Like what? There’s nothing to do here.”

“I don't know! Something.” A thoughtful look crossed over Morgana’s furry face. “I saw a sushi place we passed by on our walk home! We should get some!” Morgana lit up in excitement at the mere thought of sushi.

“Really?” Akira sarcastically asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“C’mon!!!” Morgana started jumping up and down on top of Akira, trying to force him to move. “We gotta do  _ some _ thing!”

Akira let out an over dramatic sigh, a smirk taking over his features. “Why not.” He got up off his bed, Morgana cheering in excitement. 

\--------

Soon after, he was walking down the grey, monotone streets of Inaba. It took his parents a bit of convincing, but they eventually let him go, as long as he also picked up a few groceries while he was out. He was halfway there when he decided to cut through an alleyway, figuring it could get him to his destination quicker.

He was just about nearing the end of the alleyway when he heard someone shout at him.

“Hey! Kurusu!”

Akira quickly whirled around. A group of kids he vaguely recognized were coming towards him. There were about five of them, still wearing their school uniforms. They approached quickly, surrounding him within a matter of seconds. Akira took a defensive position instinctively, his Metaverse training kicking in. 

One of the boys, a tall skinny guy with jet black hair, walked right up to him, a smirk on his face. Akira recognized him as Takuro Soma, the kid who sat two rows in front of him in his homeroom class. He didn't recognize any of his friends however.

“Do you think you can just walk around here like you own the place?” Takuro spat at him. “You should be in jail for what you did.”

Akira glared, his heart leaping to his throat. “You weren't even there. You don't know what I did.”

Takuro’s smirk vanished, aggression lacing his features. “I have a pretty good idea, you filthy criminal.” He shoved Akira, causing him to stumble back a bit. The group of boys inched closer, blocking Akira from escape. Akira dropped his bag, trying to get Morgana out of harm's way if things got ugly.

“I don't want to fight you.” Akira said, taking a defensive position. The kid in front of him just laughed.

“Too bad.” He then quickly threw a punch without warning. Akira put his hands up quickly, blocking the punch from hitting his face with his forearms. Takuro pulled his hand back, expression now full of fury. 

The punch seemed to spur the other boys into action. One of them kicked at Akira’s leg, while another kid tried to punch him on the side of the head. While trying to dodge the head punch, he ended up being slammed by the lower attack, causing him to fall to his knees. Akira almost threw his arm out to strike back, but stopped. If he hurt these kids, there's no doubt they would talk to the police. They would frame him for attacking him, and he’d be back in jail where he started. _ I can't do anything. Just like with Ryuji.  _ Akira thought, almost laughing at the pure irony of it all.

It was all a huge blur after that. The kids started the beat on him together, kicking, punching and scratching his kneeling form. Akira grit his teeth as they began to wail on him, hopelessly outmatched. He curled up, trying to protect the most vital parts of his body as hit after hit assaulted his body. The hits got harder and harder, each of the boys trying to get a reaction out of him.

“Hey!” A feminine voice suddenly rang out. 

The boys all turned towards the sound, stopping the barrage of hits. “Shit!” One of them said, backing up from Akira. They all quickly ran away, not wanting to be caught.

Akira lay there for a moment, taking a quick stock of his injuries. His arms and legs were pulsating with pain, but nothing seemed to be broken. He sighed in relief, his head pounding to the beat of his heart. He heard soft footsteps approaching him, and he looked up towards the sound. 

A girl with short brown hair was at the alleyway entrance, walking towards him. She looks to be about Akira’s age, maybe a little older. She had a bubblegum pink shirt on, with flower designs embroidered onto her blue jeans. She wore a denim jacket, with patches covering every inch of the dark fabric. Morgana was at her side, leading her towards him. _ He must’ve escaped to go find help, _ Akira realizes.

“Akira!” Morgana yells, coming up to him. Akira groans in response, taking his arms away from his face. 

“Are you okay?” The girl asks. Akira nods despite the pain. Now that he’s looking, the girl looks oddly familiar to him, but he can’t put his finger on where he knows her from. He nods again to her, and tries to stand up. He struggles for a moment, trying to focus through all the pain. He slumps back down, exhausted from the mere effort.

The girl looks at him in alarm. “Oh! Do you need help?” She exclaims, her expression laced with concern. She holds out her arm for him to take. Akira grabs it, using her arm to help himself off the ground. He sways when he stands, leaning against the wall in support as a wave of pain overwhelms him for a moment.

“Are you sure you’re okay? Those guys really did a number on you.” She remarks, hands tightening on her pale green purse. “Do you need to go to the hospital?”

“No. It’s fine.” It's not, but Akira would rather suffer like this than go to some hospital. He didn’t like Doctors all that much, hasn't liked them ever since he was young. The only Doctor he would be okay with seeing just happened to be miles away in Tokyo. Besides, his parents would be furious at him if they got lumped with some big hospital bill. He looked over the girl for a moment. “Why did you help me?” he asks suddenly.

She looks at him hesitantly, trying to come up with an answer. “Well...it was the right thing to do. Plus, your cat told me to.”

Akira stares at her in shock, hoping he heard her correctly. “You can...hear him?”

“She definitely can’t” Morgana answers confidently from the ground. “She probably heard me meowing. I lead her here to help you out.” He explains.

“Um, no, I can hear you.” The girl responds, looking at Morgana strangely. She turns back to Akira. “Why does your cat speak Japanese?”

The two phantom thieves looked at the girl in shock for a moment.

“What!” Morgana yells, taking a defensive position. “You can hear me?”  
“Uh, yeah.” The girl says bluntly. “I can hear you. That’s honestly why I followed you. I mean, you don't see a talking cat everyday!” 

“You’ve been to the Metaverse then?!” Morgana practically screams. 

“Meta-what?” 

“The Metaverse! The only way people can understand me is if they’ve been to the Metaverse.”

“I have no idea what that means.” The girl stated, a confused smile on her face. 

“Bullshit!” Morgana yowls.

“Hey!” The girl explains, jumping back. “I swear, I don't know what you're talking about!” 

“Calm down, Morgana.”  _ She seems to be honest, _ Akira thought, looking over the small woman.

“Just who exactly  _ are _ you?” Morgana asks, tone accusatory.

“I’m Nanako. Nanako Dojima.” The girl explains, and then turns to Akira. “Who are you? And why did those guys beat you up?”

“I’m Kurusu Akira.” He says in way of explanation.

“Oh. I’ve heard about you.” She exclaims. Akira shrinks back, expecting rejection. “But...you don't seem like a bad guy.”

“Really?” Akira says, shocked.  
“I mean, I did just see you get assaulted, so you don't seem all that tough.” She jokes with a smile. She looks back at Morgana. “Why does your cat talk?”

“Hey! I’m NOT a cat!” Morgana protests.

Akira interrupts Morgana before he can start his spiel. “It’s a...long story.” He winces suddenly, holding his ribs as a spike of pain dances across his chest. Nanako’s expression changes from playful to concerned. 

She offers him her arm. “If you're in that much pain, I can help you get home! That is, if you want me too.”

He looked her over for a moment. She seems to be sincere, and he doesn’t feel any malicious vibes coming from her.

He takes her arm. She gives him a dazzling smile.

\----------

As Nanako helps him walk home, Akira learns lots of things about her.

Firstly, She’s lived in Inaba her whole life. Her dad is a retired detective, and her older brother that she is really close with travels all around the world. Turns out, she does Idol work, and has been doing it since she was fairly young. She’s here in her hometown to visit her Dad and take a short break from the Idol world.  _ That’s why she was so familiar to me, _ Akira thought as she explained this to him.

While talking to her, the two Phantom Thieves figure out that Nanako knows absolutely nothing about the Metaverse. She blanks when they describe it to her, and she claims she never remembers entering a place like that. How she can hear Morgana is a complete mystery.  _ At least, for now. _ Akira thinks ruefully.

By the time they get back to Akira’s house, it’s fairly dark outside.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” She asks as they approached his home.

“Yeah. I can patch myself up.” 

“Oh!” Nanako jumps suddenly, and reaches for her back pocket. She pulls out her phone, decorated with a pastel pink case covered in stickers. “We should exchange numbers!”

Akira looks at her. “Are you sure?” When she looks at him strangely, he clarifies, “I mean, I have a pretty bad reputation. You saw what happened back there.”

She falters for a moment, looking down in thought. “I don't really care what this town thinks. Never have.” She stares back at him, resoluteness in her chestnut colored eyes. “You seem like a good person, Akira.”

Akira gives her a small smile. She lights up when he gives her his phone number, scrambling to get the numbers right. She eventually leaves, waving goodbye to him as she sets off down the street. _ I’m glad I found someone in this town who can tolerate me.  _ He thinks.

Akira almost expects to hear that voice in his head again, after all this time. _ ‘I am thou, thou art I. Thou hast acquired a new vow.’ _ He shakes his head and chuckles to himself, stepping inside.

\-------

“I’m sorry,” Morgana says later, as Akira is patching himself up with the various medical supplies lying around his bathroom. Akira had various bruises decorating his body after the fight in the alley. The only one that was clearly visible was blossoming on the lower right side of his face. Akira sighed, searching for his mother’s foundation. 

“What for?”

“I shouldn’t have forced you to go out,” Morgana explains, looking down in shame. Akira looks over him once before giving him a small pat on his head.

“Don’t worry about it.” He shrugs. “You couldn’t have known.”

“Still.” Morgana starts to say something else, but is interrupted by footsteps in the hallway. Akira tenses as he hears the steps get closer and closer, until he hears a knock on the bathroom door.

“Akira sweetie!” He cringes as he hears his mom from behind the door. “I’m coming in!” She opens the door, stopping short once she sees the bruises that cover Akira’s face.

“Akira! What happened!” She ran up to him, immediately touching the bruise that covers his face. He winced as she roughly drags her thumb across it.

“It’s fine, Mom. Some guys roughed me up on my way back.” He explains.

“Did you get the groceries we asked for?” She suddenly demands. Akira’s silence told his mother all she needed to know. She suddenly grew an angry expression, turning away from him. “Serves you right then! I can’t believe you didn't do the one thing we asked you to!”

Akira flinched back as she berated him, crossing his hands over his chest. Morgana was staring at his mother with anger. She sighed, looking back at him with disappointment. “You didn't fight back, did you?” Akira nodded in response. “Good. That would’ve just caused more problems for us.” 

She turned away from him and started to dig through the bathroom cabinets. She fished around for a moment before pulling out a small, circular case. She handed it to Akira, her expression unreadable. “Use that to cover up that thing on your face. I’m sure you don't want your father to see you like this.”

“Thank you.” Akira responded automatically. He stared at the small makeup case, turning it over in his hands. 

She shrugged. “It’s  _ my _ makeup, remember, so don’t use it all. I’ll get you your own soon.” She looked over him one last time. “You should really be more careful when you go outside. It’s your own fault this happened.” She said bluntly. She then quickly turned away, her long black hair cascading behind her.

Akira stood there for a moment, staring at the space she left behind. Morgana turned back over to him, a pitying look in his eyes. “Akira-”

He shook his head. He didn't want to talk about what just happened. Instead of talking, he opened up the small makeup case. Inside was a pale powder, about the shade of his skin. He took the small makeup sponge lying half-hazardly on the sink counter in front of him. He hesitated for a moment before slathering the makeup on his face, causing small aches of pain across his abused cheek. 

By the time he was done, it didn't look like a bruise had been there at all. His mother's skin tone luckily matched perfectly to his own. He turned his face side to side, trying to see if he missed any spots. 

_ Show me your true form indeed, _ he thought sarcastically, shutting the makeup container closed with a loud snap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -RIP to our mans. ( ˘︹˘ )  
> \- I hope Nanako isn't too OOC. And I KNOW technically she should be like 15 because Rise is like 20 in P5, but SCREW IT. This is MY fanfiction. I always imagined Nanako as being the same age as Akira, so in here, they are. Nanako is a bit older though.  
> -Since the TV world and the Metaverse are kinda one in the same, I figured she would prob be able to hear Morgana. I mean, she WAS in there for a little bit, even if she thinks it was a dream. ¯\\_( ͠❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)_/¯  
> -Since all the major arcana are taken by confidants, if Nanako was given a tarot card for this story it would be the Queen of Cups. To borrow info from the internet; The Queen of Cups is compassionate, caring, sensitive, and nurturing, with a powerful intuition. She connects with people on the emotional level, and is honest and fair. The appearance of the Queen of Cups in a reading can be guiding you to find help from others, or could be a female figure that will come into your life. All of these are pretty thematically appropriate for Nanako here.  
> -Next time there's gonna be a LONG ass chapter, prepare. (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
> -Thanks again for all the comments and kudos! Ily all! Stay safe! ❤


	5. I'm a Liar and a Thief

Eventually, the entire school learned about the fight. Takuro and his friends bragged to their peers about how they had ‘totally kicked that delinquents ass’ and how he ‘didn't even fight back’. Because of this, more and more people began to see Akira as a complete pushover. His classmates would yell insults to his face and openly shove him in the hallways, laughing hysterically if Akira dropped his books on the ground. His school became a palace in itself, lurking with enemies always looking for any potential weaknesses. 

Akira kept putting on the foundation to cover his bruises, trying desperately to act like everything was normal. The only thing keeping him going throughout all of the harassment was Golden Week. He just had to get through this last week, then he could finally see his friends again. He missed each of them like a limb. He missed their laughs, their smiles, their vibrant personalities. They texted him pretty much everyday, and Akira was really looking forward to seeing them in person.

As Golden week got closer and closer, Akira realized he had to do the impossible.

He had to ask his parents if he could go to the city.

He knew it would take a lot of convincing. Even though his grades were perfect and he didn't get into any trouble, his parents would still be skeptical about letting him go. He decided to ask when they seemed to be in a good mood, that way he could at least stand a chance of being able to get out of this town for one whole week.

He got his opportunity three days away from Golden week. He was at the kitchen table, working on homework while his father watched TV in the living room. His mother was happily humming in the kitchen with him, in a good mood from watching her favorite soap opera. His father wasn’t giving him death glares for once, instead he was looking deeply interested in the program he was watching. Akira figured he might as well ask them right then, as waiting for another opportunity like this wasn't possible. He mustered up his courage and cleared his throat.

“So, Mom.” He started innocently. “Would it be okay for me to leave home for Golden Week?” he asked

She gave him a curious look. “Why? Aren't you happy here?”

“Of course I am.” He lied. “I just wanted to see my friends from Tokyo again.”

“Hmm...Do you have a place to stay over there? I don't want to bother Sojiro again. We already owe that man enough.”

“Yeah, I can stay with a friend.” He figured he could stay with Sojiro again and he would be okay with it. If not, he could always stay with Ryuji or any of his other friends.

His mother turned to his father, who was sitting in the living room watching television. “What do you think, Kuri?”

His father looked thoughtful for a moment.  _ C’mon, C’mon, C’mon, _ Akira chanted in his head, praying that his father would say yes. 

“I don't know,” He responded, lazily scratching at his five-o’-clock shadow “He did forget to get our groceries last week.”

_ Yeah, because I got jumped!  _ Akira thought but didn't say. “I’ll do anything to make it up.” He said, hope lingering in his words.

“I’m not sure I like that attitude. Why do you want to see them so bad?” His father gave him a menacing look. 

“They're my friends”

“Hmph. Just friends huh. You aren’t dating any of them, are you?”

Akira was taken aback by the question. “Of course not.”

“Are you sure?” He side-eyes Akira. “You should know, I went through your phone the other day.”

“You went through my phone?” Akira almost yelled, taken aback. 

“Yes. I had to.” He waved his hand as if that fact is irrelevant. “You got a lot of pictures of girls in there. I don't like it. And I don't like your guy friends either. Especially that blonde one. You look like a bunch of delinquents.”

_ Is he being serious??  _ Akira thinks.  _ How can he judge them like that without ever having met them? _

“I’m not letting you see them.” His father turned back to his show, the matter closed. "They're a bad influence."

Akira sat there, shell-shocked at his fathers response. “No.” Akira mumbled unconsciously. He clenched his fist, suddenly overcome with anger. “You can't. I have to see them.” He stood up and walked right up to his father, blocking his view of the TV.

His father looked up at him, an angry expression taking over his features. “I’m sorry. Did you just talk back to me?” 

Akira crossed his arms, not answering but standing firm.

“That's what I thought.” He stood, seemingly towering over Akira. His eyes looked like black coals as they stared Akira down. “You are not going and that's final.” His father gave him a look full of so much hate, Akira flinched back as if hit. “Go to your room. You’re not getting dinner tonight.”

Akira huffed. He backed off, knowing that no matter what he did it would just make it worse for himself. He brushed past his mother as she gave meaningless apologies. It was only until he reached his room that the tears started to run.

Akira doesn't usually cry. He grew up with a father who would scold him whenever he cried.  _ Crying’s for sissies,  _ he would always say. So Akira doesn't cry. But this, for some reason, was causing the water works.

_ I should be better than this,  _ He thought as he reached his room, trying to quiet his sniffles.  _ I guess I should tell my friends, _ Akira thought, his heart sinking in his chest. He picked up his phone, his hands shaking from rage. He almost couldn't see his phone screen through the angry tears in his eyes. But he managed to type a message to the group chat.

**[Once a Phantom Thief ALWAYS a Phantom Thief] group chat**

(Akira): My parents said I can’t come for Golden Week

Akira threw his phone aside in frustration, crawling under the covers of his bed. He was frantically wiping his eyes, trying to stop the flow of tears. After a text like that, it wasn’t long at all until Akira’s phone started blowing up with text messages. He lay under the blanket for a moment, hands over his eyes. He took a deep breath, shoving his emotions aside, and reached for his phone.

**[Once a Phantom Thief ALWAYS a Phantom Thief] group chat**

(Yusuke): What!?

(Ryuji): FOR REAL? (•︡益︠•)

(Haru): No way!

(Ann): What the hell? Why not!?

(Ryuji): That effin’ sucks!!!

Akira wiped at his face again, sniffling weakly. Despite all his efforts, hot angry tears still leaked out of his eyes. He typed a bit more in way of explanation.

(Akira): I know. 

(Akira): They won’t let me leave.

(Akira): Apparently they think you guys are delinquents. Even though they’ve never met you.

(Haru): That's just awful!

(Ryuji): I WILL LITERALLY FIGHT THEM (ᕗ ಠ︡益︠ಠ︠)ᕗ

(Ann): That's so unfair!

(Futaba): I mean,

(Futaba): You could just

(Futaba): Sneak out (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)

(Ann): Futaba thats illegal

(Futaba): C’mon! It could totally work!

(Futaba): We drive over there, you sneak out of the house, we pick you up like...a street away, and then we book it!

(Ryuji): I mean...

(Ryuji): That could work ( ͠❛ ‿‿ ͡❛)

(Makoto): WHAT?????

(Makoto): NO!!!!!!

(Makoto): THAT’S BASICALLY KIDNAPPING!!!!

(Makoto): WE ARE NOT KIDNAPPING AKIRA!!!!

(Yusuke): You know, I think it might be a good plan

(Yusuke): It’s better to beg for forgiveness then ask for permission, after all

(Haru): Well, I agree with Makoto

(Haru): We shouldn’t do this

(Makoto): THANK YOU 

(Haru): That is, if Akira doesn’t want to risk it. If he’s okay with it, then I think we should get him.

(Makoto): NO! We shouldn’t do it PERIOD!

(Ann): Akira, what do you think?

Akira thought about it for a moment. He technically could sneak out, it wouldn't be hard. He would just need to leave a short message about where he would be going. He could be back in Tokyo and his parents wouldn't be able to do anything about it. The only bad thing would be the repercussions. He knows that if he disobeyed his parents, they would crack down on him even harder than before. It will definitely be worse for him in the long run if he decides to leave. On all accounts, he shouldn't even be considering it.

_ But...I really miss Tokyo,  _ Akira thinks unconsciously. He missed everything about his year there, even the shitty parts. He had friends and people who cared about him in Tokyo. Here, in his hometown, no one would give a damn if he disappeared. They all want him gone anyway. He misses the city like a limb. Just imagining the coffee scented air of the LeBlanc attic made his heart ache with longing.

So even though it felt like the worst decision, Akira decided.

**[Once a Phantom Thief ALWAYS a Phantom Thief] group chat**

(Akira): I’m in. 

(Akira): Get me the hell out of here

(Yusuke): All right!

(Haru): Woohoo! Akira’s coming home! ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ

(Ann): The only thing is, we need someone to drive

(Ann): Makoto (ㆆ_ㆆ)

(Makoto): (≖_≖ )

(Makoto): I hate this

(Makoto): But if you really want this Akira,

(Makoto): Then

(Makoto): I guess I’ll drive

(Ryuji): HELL YEAH!!!

(Futaba): AWESOME!

(Haru): Looks like we’re stealing yet another treasure, gang! (っ＾▿＾)

Akira let out a half-sob, half-laugh. His tears had finally subsided, but the salty residue of them still stained his cheeks. He laid down on his back and looked up towards the ceiling, his heart feeling uplifted. 

“Akira?” Morgana’s voice rang out. He jumped up onto the bed, facing Akira with concern. “Are you okay? I heard them yelling at you.”

“Yeah.” Akira said, a small smile on his face. When Morgana gave him a confused look, he clarified. “Our friends made plans to sneak me out of here for Golden Week.”

Morgana lit up. “Alright!” but then threw a cautious look over his shoulder. “Are you sure though? Your parents…”

“Better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission.” Akira repeated from Yusuke. “Besides, I’m almost old enough to move out on my own. They won't be able to have control over me for long.” he rationalised.

“Okay. If you're sure.” Morgana then gave a mischievous smile. “When are they coming?”

\---------

His week in Tokyo was the best time he had in so, so very long.

The plan to get him out of his house went off without a hitch. After sneaking through the palaces many times over the past year, sneaking through his own house was a cakewalk in comparison. Even with his heavy luggage, he was able to escape with ease, his heart pounding in his chest. He met his friends in that same van a few streets down, feeling the tension drain from his body with every mile they put between him and his hometown.

The week was absolutely perfect. Sojiro was totally okay with Akira staying in the attic again, his very presence putting Akira at ease almost immediately. He had forgotten what it felt like to feel safe and comfortable in his own home. Often times, his parents would burst in without warning and critique him for everything he did while at home. But here, he was finally able to relax.

He was able to meet back up with all of his friends, and got to spend quality time with each of them. He even got to see the people he didn't often text, like Mishima and Chihaya.

He never got so much as a single text from either of his parents. Akira couldn't figure out if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Either way, it let him truly enjoy his time in Tokyo without having to worry about how his parents would react. Even though he knew the fallout of him running off was gonna be horrible, he could at least enjoy this last week with all of his friends before the inevitable.

And it would’ve gone off without a hitch, if it weren’t for Morgana.

He was in the middle of getting ready for one of his last days in Tokyo. He had just put on his clothes, and was searching for his makeup container. He had successfully managed not make sure none of his friends saw him without the makeup. He felt slightly guilty, but it was for their own good. There was nothing they could do to help him, so why should he worry them even more?

Unfortunately, though, his makeup case was nowhere to be seen. Akira searched through all of his luggage and his room twice over, and he couldn't seem to find it anywhere.

“Morgana?” He called out. “Have you seen my-” 

Akira turned around, seeing Morgana on a very high shelf in his room, the one he always had trouble reaching. The cat had the container sitting casually next to him, a harsh look on his furry face.

“Akira,” Morgana said. “You should show them your bruise.” 

Akira sighed. “Morgana-”

“I mean it! Hiding this from them isn't right.”

“Morgana, they wouldn't be able to do anything. Showing them this,” He gestured to his face. “...would do more harm than good.”

“You're wrong~!” The cat said in a sing-song voice, knocking the container back and forth with his paws.

“Morgana, give it back.” Akira reached for the cat, standing up on his tiptoes. “I need it.”

“Nope!” Morgana grabbed the container and pulled it closer to him. Akira jumped up, trying in vain to grab the offending container. Suddenly, Morgana pounced off of the shelf, the makeup container halfway in his mouth. He bolted for the stairs, running past Akira in a flash.

“Morgana!” Akira yelled, quickly chasing after him. Morgana was frantically running around the cafe, trying to avoid Akira’s grasp. Unfortunately for Akira, the cafe was closed that day, so Morgana was able to run rampant around the entire cafe in order to avoid Akira.

“Morgana, seriously! Give it back!” Akira gave chase, running around the cafe in an attempt to catch the thieving cat. Finally, after what felt like forever, Akira finally caught Morgana as he leaped up onto the counter.

“Let me go!” Morgana yowled, slightly muffled by the makeup container in his mouth. Akira reached for the container, and just got his fingers to close on it when he heard the bell at the door ring. He looked up in shock, his arms still full of Morgana.

Ryuji was at the door, his hands casually in his pockets. “Hey man, what's-” He looked at Akira, suddenly trailing off. The casual expression quickly ran away from his face when he saw the bruise coloring Akira’s face.

“Dude. What happened?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -CLIFFHANGER BABEY ✍(◔◡◔)  
> -Sorry this chapter took so long, especially considering half of it is practically a chatfic lol. I was super stuck in terms of where I wanted to go for the story, but I got inspiration! So we are all good! (>‿◠)✌  
> -I want you all to know that I listen to MCR while I write these chapters. It's 2020 and I just got concert tickets to MCR. I'm not okay (I promise)  
> -'My R' is also a big inspiration for this fic. Listen to it if you wanna be sad but also JAM OUT ( ˘︹˘ )✊  
> \- I hope this wasn't too jarring. I felt like I kinda rushed this chapter so let me know what you think.  
> -The next chapter is gonna be pretty short, so the wait wont be TOO long (At least, I hope)  
> -Thank you all for commenting and giving kudos! Y'all are wonderful. Stay safe! (ɔ◔‿◔)ɔ ♥


	6. Taking things from those better than me

“...Um, it’s not that bad.”

Akira had come out from behind the counter, dropping Morgana onto the countertop as he passed it. Ryuji had walked closer to him, his eyes full of concern. 

“That doesn't really answer my question, dude.” He casually placed one of his hands onto Akira’s shoulder. Akira almost flinched back from it, but managed to hold it in. Ryuji took ahold of Akira’s cheek, turning his face around so he could see the bruise better. Akira flushed a bit from embarrassment. 

“Seriously. Dude, It’s fine.”

“Wait a second.” Ryuji’s face suddenly darkened, putting both of his hands onto Akira’s shoulders and looking him straight in the eyes. Akira had never seen the blonde look this angry before. “It’s...Your  _ parents _ didn't do this to you, did they?” Ryuji’s voice was filled with emotion, fists tightening on Akira’s shoulders for a moment.

“No, nothing like that!” Akira quickly reassured, and the tension quickly bled from Ryuji’s body. 

“Then what happened?” Sensing Akira’s hesitation, he took his hands away from Akira, and his tone of voice got gentler. “C’mon, Akira, you can tell me. I’m your best friend!”

Akira hesitated for a moment before relenting. He could never say no to Ryuji. “It was nothing. Some...Some guys jumped me when I was walking home one day. That's all.”

“For real?!” Ryuji exclaimed. “Well, I’d hate to see what the other guys look like. Why’d they attack you?”

“I dunno.” Akira lied.

“Yes you do.” Morgana chastised from the coffee counter. He turned to Ryuji. “He keeps getting bullied at school because of his criminal record.”

“Morgana!” Akira exclaimed, trying to get the cat to shut up.

“You mean like at Shujin? When they were spreading those rumors?” Ryuji asked Morgana, talking over Akira’s protests.

“Yep. But it's worse. The kids from school attacked him out of  _ nowhere, _ just because they could get away with it.” Morgana spat, clearly furious about the situation.

Akira sighed. “Morgana please. It's not that serious.”

“It  _ is  _ serious! You have an ‘effin bruise on your face!” Ryuji yelled. There was a pregnant pause after the outburst, Ryuji realizing how loud he had just been. He sighed, scratching his head. “Okay. We should hold a meeting or something, we need to tell the others about this.”

“Ryuji, no.” Akira protested. “It's pointless. There's nothing anyone could do to stop it.”

“Bullshit!” Ryuji exclaimed, pulling out his phone. “There has to be something we could do.” He looked back up at Akira, an unreadable expression on his face. “I won't call them if you really don't want me to, but…” He let out a sigh. “We all care about you, okay? We would do everything we could to help you out. You know that right?”

“Yeah I know.” Akira hung his head, weighing his options. He knows, in his heart, that he should tell his friends everything. About how everyday at school he struggles to survive. About his home life, how his parents don't seem to care about him. 

But, he also knows that no matter what he does, he has to be strong for them. He was the leader of the phantom thieves after all. He should be able to withstand this. After all, it would only be one year until he becomes eighteen. Then he could finally start living on his own in Tokyo, away from his parents and that entire shitty town. He's suffered way worse than this. How would his friends react if the leader of the phantom thieves couldn't handle a little bit of harassment after all he's been through? Having to see the looks of pity on his friends faces when they saw how weak he really was...Akira couldn't stand to see it.

_ I have to be strong for them.  _ He thinks, blinking his eyes open.  _ I can't let them see me be weak.  _

“ _ Please _ don't tell them Ryuji. Morgana is blowing it out of proportion. They just give me a hard time, that's all. They try to trip me up in hallways and they spread rumors about me, but that's it. That time I got jumped was a fluke.” Akira proclaimed.

Ryuji gives him a questioning stare. “Really? That sucks! All because they think you’re some delinquent?”

Akira shrugs. “It's a small town, they don't have the most open mind about people like me. I think they are just trying to drive me away. They all assume that I’m a bad influence, and word spreads fast in a town that small. Practically the whole town stays away from me.”

“What about the notes?” Morgana interrupts. “You should tell him about the notes.”

Akira levels the cat is a death stare.  _ Seriously?  _ He fumes. Morgana was not making this easy for him. He looks away from the cat and sighs in defeat.

“Notes? What do they say?” Ryuji asks.

_ They tell me to kill myself.  _ Akira thinks but doesn't say. “ “People shove extremely rude notes in my locker. They’re full of threats and harassment, but it's all talk. Nothing I can’t handle.”

Ryuji shakes his head in anger. “And here I thought you’d end up somewhere better than Shujin, not worse!” He looks up, his eyes meeting Akira’s. “That sounds like a lot to be dealing with on your own, dude. Are you sure you’re okay?”

_ No.  _ “Of course I am. Morgana has you worked up over nothing.” He brushes off, his heart feeling heavy. He hated lying to Ryuji, but what choice did he have? If he told him how he really felt, he and the rest of his friend group wouldn't see him as a leader. They’d see him as a vulnerable, scared kid, just like how everyone else back home saw him. 

“Okay. But...Are you sure about not tellin' the others? They'd do everything they could to help you, you know.”

Akira nodded. “Yeah, I know. But if they knew about this, it would only hurt them in the long run. There's nothing anyone can do.”

“We could get you out of there! Move out of that dump and back here.”

“My parents…” Akira sighed. “They would flip out if I moved away. I gotta stay there.” _They would also probably send the national guard after me. I’m kinda surprised they haven't done something like that already,_ Akira though absent-mindedly.

“Man! This sucks.” Ryuji sighed out roughly. “...I hate keeping something this big from the group, but...If you really don't wanna tell them, then I won't.” Ryuji looked at him with determination. “It’s your choice.”

Akira let out a rare smile. “Thank you Ryuji, seriously.”  _ I can always trust him to have my back _ , he thought. 

Eventually, Ryuji left, his eyes full of concern but clearly trying to hide it. He told him one last thing before leaving,

“Listen, if you ever need to...I dunno, talk about what you're going through, I can be there. I’m just a text away.” 

Akira had nodded, and Ryuji let out a supportive smile. Once he left through the doors of LeBlanc, Akira let out a sigh of relief. Having to lie to his friends was never something Akira liked doing, and even though this time he only half-lied, it had felt almost painful to do that to his best friend. But he knew it was for the greater good. He couldn’t let his friends know just how weak he really was. He just had to get through this last year, and he was home free.

Morgana was giving him a total death stare as he walked back towards his room. Akira sighed in frustration. “Are you happy now?” He asked him.

“No. You didn't let him tell the rest of the thieves!” Morgana looked pretty pissed, for a cat anyway.

“Because, Morgana. They won't be able to fix it. It’s better if they don't know.” He walks past the cat, climbing up the stairs. 

“I know. It's just…” Morgana sighed, and then in barely a whisper Akira heard him say “I’m worried about you.”

Akira froze at the steps, wondering if he was supposed to have heard that. He looked down guiltily, and climbed the last few steps. He headed towards the bathroom to apply the makeup that had started this whole mess in the first place. 

_ Me too, Morgana.  _ He thought to himself as he reached the bathroom. _ I’m worried about myself too. _

\----------------

Besides that little hiccup, the rest of the week passed by with ease. None of his friends found out about the bruise, and he was able to spend the rest of the week relaxing and having fun times with his friends. Although Ryuji gave him worried glances every so often, he didn’t end up telling anyone about it, which made Akira beyond thankful. Lord knows how bad Ryuji is at keeping secrets, so the fact that he had managed not to tell anyone was a small miracle in itself.

Eventually, after a fun-filled week, He was back where this mess had all began, in the car with all of his friends driving back into his hometown. He felt nostalgic as he sat in the car with his friends, an overwhelming sense of longing filling him. 

“Are you sure you’re parents wont, like, freak the hell out?” Ryuji asked, leaning back so he could talk with Akira, who was sitting in the backseat.

Akira shrugged. “They probably will.”

“F’s in chat.” Futaba remarks next to him, much to the confusion of practically everyone in the car. “You gotta tell us when you get ungrounded. Then we can meet up again!”

“Yeah, seriously.” Ann agrees.

“Even though you were only gone for a month, I missed your presence greatly.” Yusuke remarks from the very back of the van, a sly smile on his face. “I can’t wait until you visit again.”

“Me too!” Haru exclaimes, a smile on her face. 

Akira smiles, but it vanishes from his face as soon as they pull up to his house. 

“This is it then.” Makoto remarks, turning to Akira. “Make sure to text us, okay?”

He nods, A heavy feeling of dread overtaking him.  _ I have to be strong for them. I can do this. I just have to be strong enough.  _ Akira rationalizes, swallowing his fear

After a round of tearful goodbyes, Akira felt his heart wilt as he saw the van pull away from his house and make its way down the street. He felt a sense of Deja Vu from just a couple of months ago when they dropped him off here the first time. Now, however, he felt even more hesitant to go inside. He knew his parents would be furious, there was no doubt. But he knew he had to go in and face the music.

Akira sighed heavily and opened up his bag, letting Morgana out. Morgana looked at him with confusion as he walked out onto the sidewalk.

“Listen, try to get into my room from the backdoor. If they see you with me, they might decide to kick you out.” Akira explains to him.

Morgana gives him a sympathetic look. “Okay. Be safe.” Morgana says to him before bolting towards his small backyard. Akira took one last breath before approaching his house, his footsteps echoing on the pavement leading up to the entrance. 

He uses his key, almost surprised it still worked, and entered his house. The home was fairly dark, the only light coming from the kitchen. He took off his shoes, looking around warily. He only took about five steps into his house when he heard his father's voice coming from the living room, full of fury.

“And just where the hell have you been?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -ahahaha hi again.....okay I'm sorry for such a long wait guys, I truly am. I went through a good old fashioned depressive episode, and I needed to get my shit sorted out before I could start writing again. The one good thing this whole quarantine thing has done is practically force me to work on this fic again. So you'll start getting updates again! Hooray!  
> -Royal comes out in a week and I'm SOOO hype. I cannot wait. Hopefully that game doesn't absolutely destroy this fic in terms of whats canon.  
> -I feel like I'm so bad at writing how people talk, so PLEASE tell me if any of the thieves are OOC. Also I'm really sorry they don't show up all that much. They'll show up a lot more later, so do not fret.  
> -I lowkey ship Ryuji and Akira sooooo :/. You can read this as pre-relationship if you want, but I'm not gonna delve into it, at least, not in this fic.   
> -also sorry for the cliffhanger, again. I can't help myself. When will god stop me for my crimes.  
> \- My new favorite headcanon I've created is Futaba saying 'F's in chat'. No I wont take it out no matter how cringey it is. You know in your heart that she says that shit on a regular basis, ADMIT IT.  
> -Please comment and kudos! They inspire me to keep writing. I promise I'll be better with the updates next time. Stay safe out there and wash your hands! Thanks for reading!


	7. Reminders of my failures everywhere I will be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: abuse and flashback

Akira jumped in surprise at his father's voice, echoing loudly in the small house. He turned towards the living room, his heart heavy with dread. In the small room sat his father, sitting on his favorite chair and turned towards the entrance. The light was low in the kitchen, making the facial features of his father harder to make out. 

“You know where I was.” Akira said, rebellion hot in his stomach.

“So. You went to Tokyo.” His father's hands gripped the arms of the chair harder, causing warning bells to scream in Akira’s head. “Even though I expressly forbid you from doing so.”

Akira couldn't think of what to say, so he simply nodded. It was the truth after all.

Suddenly, his father was up out of the chair in a flash. He quickly walked over to Akira and before Akira could even hope to react, he slapped Akira hard across the face. The impact of the sudden hit made him stumble back, the shock of it sending him reeling. 

“Do you know what kind of damage you're doing to our reputation in this town? Do you?! Ever since you came back people have been  _ slandering _ us with baseless rumors, saying it's our fault you turned out this way! But it's not. It's your own damn fault you ended up such a problematic child.”

Akira simply stared at his father in response, clutching his abused cheek.  _ My dad has never hit me before, _ Akira thought suddenly.

“Do you know how worried your mother was?” His father shouted at him as he tried to grab his bearings. “We didn't know where you were or what you were doing. We thought you had run off for good!”

“You didn't call.” Akira protested, raising his head back up towards his father. “You never texted me the whole time I was there.”

“You bet your damn ass we didn't call! We couldn't!” Akira’s father affirmed, roughly grabbing Akira by the hair causing him to cry out in pain. “We lost your number, so we had no way of contacting you! We couldn't even call the police, because it would've just caused even more rumors to be spread about us!”

_ How did you lose my number? I’m your son!  _ Akira thought but didn't say. Suddenly, his mother's shadow extended from the kitchen. He heard her voice. “Darling, please, keep your voice down! The neighbors may hear.”

His father meerly grunted in response, and threw Akira by the hair onto the floor. The sudden movement caused Akira to fall onto the ground, his old wounds pulsating with harsh pain. He let out a gasp of pain, trying vainly to stand back up.

His father reached down to Akira’s fallen form and took his phone out of his pocket. Akira tried in vain to grab the phone back, but the pain made his normally quick thief reaction time into a slow crawl. He merely grasped at air as his father started to scroll through his phone.

“Since you are clearly not using this for the right reasons,” his father began, eyeing Akira’s phone with a malicious look. “Then you don't deserve it. Not until you learn to listen to me. Is that clear?”

Akira merely stared back up at his father, eyes defiant. The whole situation reminded him so strongly of the interrogation room that he started to shake faintly. He could practically hear the interrogator's voice echoing in his living room.  _ “Come on, corporate. Or what, you want another shot?” _

His father kicked him in the stomach for his silence, causing Akira to cry out. “I said, is. That.  _ Clear _ .”

Akira nodded shakily, his mind becoming overrun with pure, unadulterated panic. Akira could hear his breathing speed up, his hands shaking violently. He kept hearing the voices from the interrogation room blending in with the voice coming from his own father.

_ “...You should know your place” _

“I don't want you talking to your delinquent friends.”

_ “Sign here. It’s a confession under your name” _

“They are nothing but a bad influence.”

_ “I don't care if you end up losing a leg” _

“So you know why I have to do this to you”

A loud cracking noise broke through his haze, the noise shapeshifting into the crack of the chair as it slammed into the gray wall. The metallic smell from the interrogation room filled his nostrils. Akira’s mind was racing out of control. He didn't know where he was, or what was going on. He could just feel the pure pain invading his very being. His mind screamed at him to get away, but he couldn't move a single muscle.

_ PleasenomorewherearemyfriendsIjustwanttogohomepleaseohgodstophurtingmeplease- _

No matter what Akira did, he couldn't get enough air. The world felt like it was tilting around him, and the beige colors of his living room became a blurry muted mess.

He felt more than saw the shadow above him move away, apparently satisfied. Akira laid on the floor for god knows how long, hyperventilating and trying valiantly to differentiate between past and present.

Eventually, he felt soft fur underneath his palm. Akira was struck with an overwhelming feeling of familiarity. A soft voice was talking to him, and even though he couldn't understand what it was saying, he felt comforted by it. He synched up his breathing to the furball in his hand, each breath he took in feeling like a battle.

After a while, Akira opened his eyes. _I don't remember closing them,_ he thought distantly. He saw that he was still lying on the hard carpet of his living room, a wet liquid coming out of his face. Akira raised his head to see Morgana lying underneath his hand, his expression full of concern.

“Are you here now? Akira?” Morgana whispered. Akira nodded, wincing from the waves of pain rocking his skull. He raised his hand from Morgana to wipe the warm liquid from his face, thinking it was just tears. But when Akira pulled his hand away, he saw it was red.

_ I’m...bleeding? _ Akira put his hands to his face, trying to find out where the blood was coming from. He figured out it was a nosebleed quickly, and sighed a bit in relief.  _ Covering up a cut on my face would be much harder to get away with.  _ He thought.

He looked around, trying to center himself back into reality. He was lying at the entrance of the living room, Morgana underneath him. No one was there, his father and mother apparently having better things to do. He swept his gaze around him and froze when he saw what was lying next to him.

The remains of what was once his phone were lying there in a pile next to him.  _ Ah, so that's what the cracking noise was.  _ He thought faintly, still a bit in shock. Then it hit him.

All his friends were on that phone. All his memories and photos with them. He didn't remember anyone’s number. He wouldn't be able to talk to his friends.Not at school, not at home. Not at all. H is one escape was gone.

Akira felt tears bubbling up before he could stop them, his breath hitching. He quickly rose to cover his face, trying not to get too emotional in front of Morgana.  _ I have to stop being like this. I have to be stronger from them! _

“Akira,” Morgana began, but Akira just shook his hand. He wiped away his tears ferociously and sat up, pain dancing across his body, reaching for the remains of his phone. He figured if he could get the memory chip, then at least he would be able to save the photos he had from the past year, if nothing else. Luckily, after some searching, he found it amongst the rubble, thankfully intact. He sighed in relief, slumping back down onto the floor. He was so exhausted. From everything. He didn't want to do anything else but lie on this floor for the rest of time.

“Cmon, Akira, you gotta patch yourself up.” Morgana said to him, shaking his face with his paw. “Your gonna bleed on the carpet and upset him even more.”

“...You’re right.” He replied hoarsely after a moment. He sighed and sat up. After a few minutes of struggling, he managed to get himself standing. He limped towards the bathroom, clutching his bruised stomach. He kept staring off into nothing while getting himself patched up, Morgana often having to butt in to tell him exactly what he was supposed to do. His mind was racing with doomsday scenarios. _ What if I can never talk to them again? What am I gonna do? Am I gonna get another phone? Will I ever see them again? _

By the time he was finished, it was practically midnight. He limped over to his bedroom, turning the doorknob to get inside. But, he found that he was unable to turn it all the way. His fingers fumbled with the door, trying to get the door to open. Even when putting his weight on it, the door didn't budge by an inch.

Eventually, he realized it.

His parents had locked him out of his own room.

Akira stared at the door dumbly, feeling numb. After a moment, He robotically sat down next to the door. Morgana curled up next to him, head resting on his knee.

“Do you think…” Akira whispered, trying to get out his thoughts to Morgana. “Do you think this is how Futaba felt? Or…how Ryuji felt? How Yusuke felt? Before we met them?” The fourth name, the one he hadn’t spoken out loud in a long time, he left unmentioned.

Morgana looked at him with an unreadable expression. “Yeah. This is probably how they felt.” The feline sighed, nuzzling closer to Akira in the darkness of the hallway. “But they got through it. And so will you.”

Akira felt tears in his eyes before he abruptly closed them, trying to shut off the tears. _ Not all of them,  _ he thought, fist tightening around the small microchip from his phone.  _ I don't think I will, either. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Oof. Yikes. It only gets darker from here on in folks, get strapped in.  
> -Also I'm not usually into vocaloid songs but I'm willing to admit Rolling Girl by Wowaka is a BOP and goes very well with this fic. So listen to it. Or else.  
> -You guessed it, the person he doesn't want to mention at the very end is our boy Akechi. I want Akira in this to be super regretful with about how everything with Akechi went down, and sorta misses him in an unhealthy way. Idk man. I'm excited to see more of this bastard in Royal, which I finally caved and pre-ordered! I'm gonna play that shit at midnight on the 31st and no one will be able to stop me.  
> -Also, another thing about the ending of this chapter, I'm pretty sure I left out a couple of the other Phantom Thieves that went through abuse, but I didn't want to mention literally EVERYONE. So I just pointed out the ones that had parental figures abuse them. (I didn't count Haru bc I don't think her Dad was psychically abusive with her but ??? I honestly don't remember the game is a billion hours long so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong)  
> -Hopefully the flashback is accurate??? I hope???  
> -Also I'm adding yet ANOTHER CHAPTER to this fic. This fic was originally only supposed to be 10 chapters but I can't fucking help myself. So everyone can have another chapter, as a treat.  
> -Thanks again for all of the support! Please leave a kudos or a like or a comment! Wash your hands! I love you guys!


	8. I declare war on my body

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: Self harm depiction, heavy bullying, and negative comments about mental illness.

The days after were rough.

Not only because of the many bruises on his body from his father, but also because of his classmates. Akira didn't know if they were actually getting crueler or if it was just because he had been away from it for a while. Either way, his peers continued their unrelenting assault on him with full force. 

His school life largely consisted of him staring motionless at the blackboard, terrified to make any kind of move in order not to provoke those around him. The one time he did move in class, he regretted it. He had coughed, and the kid behind him reached over and pinched his neck harshly. Akira hissed in pain and reached for the hand, swiping at air when he realized the kid behind him had pulled away. 

“Shut the fuck up, criminal.” The kid whispered venomously from behind him. The sentence silenced Akira’s urge to tell on the kid, knowing in his heart he wouldn't get in trouble and that it would only cause more suffering for him.

TIme after time instances like this would happen more frequently. Everyday, Akira often wished he were invisible, wanted nothing more than to sink into the floor. Everywhere he went people talked about him, whispers circling around him like a hurricane. While at Shujin the rumors had died down after the Kamoshida scandal, here he had nothing else distracting the student body from talking about him. It got so bad Akira would often encourage Morgana to stay home, knowing that if he came along he would criticize him for not taking action. Or worse, someone could take his bag and end up hurting Morgana, which Akira couldn't let happen.

One day, during gym period, the teacher had decided he was going to let everyone play Volleyball. Akira already felt wary before the game even started, the memory of Kamoshida’s rule fresh in his mind. His fears only worsened when the game actually started. Several students, even ones on his own team, pelted the volleyball towards him at blinding speeds. He gained several bruises that day, almost breaking his glasses several times, as well as a trip to the Nurse's office. He couldn't look anyone in the eye, knowing that if he did he would see nothing but hatred and contempt for him.

The only good thing about that day was when the nurse tried to call home to get his parents to pick him up, and they refused to. Akira got to spend the rest of the day on a cot in the Nurse's office, away from his peers and safe from his parents. At least, until the day ended, and he had to get up to go home, having to face the world once again.

Another day, Akira opened his locker only to find the entire thing splattered in blood. The dark, vibrant red color caused him to step back in alarm. The liquid had completely ruined his shoes and his school papers, causing everything inside his locker to smell of iron and rust. Not to mention, all of the threatening notes inside were now soaked in blood. His locker looked practically like a crime scene. 

Some investigation was done by the school board, and it turned out the liquid wasn't actually blood, just water mixed with syrup and red food dye. The school board made empty promises to Akira, telling him they would find out who did this. But, of course, nothing ever came of it.

After that incident, Akira’s locker would often be filled with disgusting things along with the notes, ranging from dirt to safety pins. He always diligently cleaned them out, each time a feeling of utter shame washing over him. _ If only the world could see the leader of the phantom thieves now, _ He thought, cleaning out all of the tacks from his school shoes one afternoon.  _ Reduced to this. God, I’m pathetic. _

The notes got even worse, as well. His locker would always be full of them by the end of the day. And, although Akira knew he shouldn't, he couldn't help himself from reading each and every one, even the ones that had been ruined by the stuff being shoved into his locker. He would shove them into his bag and read them all in the bathroom, away from public eyes.

_ Heard you freaked out on Roku-san, Kurusu. As if you couldn't get any weirder. _

_ Kurusu, get out of this town and never come back. _

_ You should be in a mental hospital with all the other freaks, you’d fit right in, Kurusu. _

_ You should just die already and save everyone the hassle. _

_ Criminals like you should stay far away from a nice town like this. _

_ Why haven't you killed yourself yet? It would be pretty beneficial to your mental health. _

Akira would throw them into the trash as soon as he finished, shame burning in his gut. He would spend every afternoon walking home, his mind going over every note he read, wondering if any of them actually had any merit.

\--------

After school, Akira would often lie in bed, utterly exhausted and wishing desperately to sleep, but never being able to. He would stare at the ceiling, feeling numb and distant. It felt like whenever he would blink, hours would pass by. When he eventually ended up falling asleep, he would wake up and have to do it all again. An endless cycle.

Akira pondered this as he stared in the mirror of his bathroom, looking at himself. Akira felt numb. His body felt like it was vibrating, every inch of it feeling like pins and needles. Weeks of his life went by, and everyday felt the same. Nothing would change. _ I’m gonna be stuck in this town forever. _ Akira thought, staring himself down in the mirror.  _ Who knows if my parents will ever really let me leave. I’m never gonna be free of these assholes, am I? _

His defiant spirit sparked, and he suddenly slammed his fist onto the sink counter in frustration. The force of it shocking through his arm, running deep into his bones. Akira looked down at his hand, overcome with emotion. The pain the slam brought was almost...grounding. It helped him get rid of the horrible thoughts running through his mind. It made him feel real, somehow.

He brought his hand down and slammed it onto the counter again, this time relishing in the pain it caused him. A strange feeling shook through his body afterwards, one he couldn't truly describe. It was like all of his nerves in his hand had been set alight. It felt like the rush he got after entering the Metaverse, the way the air of the place would put him on edge immediately. The way the adrenaline coursed through his veins as he infiltrated a palace.

Akira slammed his hand down a few times in succession. Each time he brought his hand down, the numb feeling in his chest would slowly fade. His hand was practically aching now, pulsating with the beat of his heart. He stopped for a moment, and the pain slowly faded, the numb feeling returning in earnest.  _ This isn't enough, _ Akira thought, looking from his hand back to his reflection. I need something stronger.

Akira decided to go off of his instinct, and slammed the back of his head against the wall behind him with all of his might. The pain was sharper, more intense. It caused his entire skull to fill with an aching sensation, centered around where he made contact with the wall. It felt...intoxicating. The urge to do it again was so strong that Akira gave in, continuing to slam his head against the wall behind him with all his force. He kept doing it, until he heard his mother scream from halfway across the house.

“AKIRA! Stop that racket immediately!”

Akira immediately ceased, his vision shaking from the vertigo. It took him a few moments until his head cleared and the pain faded. A pleasant ache centered around the back of his skull, pounding to the beat of his heart. He took deep breaths while staring himself down, the ache slowly fading with every passing second. The numb feeling returned shortly after the ache had faded into nothing. He looks into his eyes, terrified at the implications of what he just found.

_ I’m so fucked up,  _ Akira thinks almost hysterically, quickly walking out of the bathroom and shutting the door behind him.  _ There's something seriously wrong with me, isn't there? _

Morgana is there to greet him when he enters his room again, not moving from his position on the corner of his bed but following him closely with his eyes.

“What was that banging noise?” Morgana asks.

“Nothing.” Akira immediately responds, rummaging through his clothes to find his favorite hoodie. Morgana gives him a stern look.

“Akira...”

“I said, it was nothing.” Akira snaps, finally finding the hoodie and pulling it over himself. The worn fabric immediately placing him at ease. He turns and flops himself onto his bed, quickly tangling himself into the covers.

“Fine.” Morgana states, huffing in frustration. He jumps off the bed and out of the room, radiating angry energy.

Akira looks up and watches the cat leave. _ You drive everyone away, _ his brain yells at him.  _ Even your friends. Do they actually care about you? Or do they only care because they stand something to gain?  _ Akira shakes his head and turns over in his bed, trying to silence the traitorous voice in his head to no avail. _You have no use for deals anymore._ _ Morgana is going to abandon you eventually, like everyone else in this town. _

Akira feels the familiar feeling of tears trying to escape his eyes, and for once, he decides to let them fall. He buries his face into his pillow, not caring if his tears stain the fabric, only caring about hiding his vulnerability from the world.  _ There's nothing you can do. You’re gonna be stuck here forever.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -oof. Don't worry, stuff gets a little lighter next chapter.  
> -I've been playing Royal like its my fucking JOB. I haven't skipped any story scenes and I'm already at Futaba's palace. Its been four days. hELP. Some of my thoughts: I'm in love with Maruki (finally getting Ryuji some THERAPY holy shit), I'm probably gonna date Kasumi bc she is cute as hell, and that Akechi confidant is top tier (that cafe scene...wow). I'll update you if my opinion changes though. PLEASE don't spoil me thank you and goodnight.  
> -ahaha that self harm scene was TOTALLY made up...wasn't drawn from personal experience AT ALL....totally...ahaha..... (Don't worry about me though, that time is over and done with. I'm doing just fine now.)  
> -Yeah, Akira snapping at Morgana is kinda ooc but listen. My boy is under a lot of stress, okay? Please do not blame him he's going through a lot.  
> -also if you can find the TWO doki doki literature club references then I'm in love with you. jkjkjk. unless...?  
> -Thats it! Thank you so much for reading and please drop me a kudos or a comment! Hope you enjoyed the angst and are ready for the next chapter. Stay safe out there and wash your damn hands.  
> -Also my tumblr is bazookauniverseblr, if your interested. It is mostly memes about animal crossing, to be honest, but I do have some Persona stuff on there. If you wanna send me a pm, tumblr is the best way to do it!


	9. People freak me out,

Akira wasn't having the best of days. He spent the entire day on edge, his fingers twisted into the fabric of his pockets and his leg tapping incessantly. He felt like one wrong move and he would spontaneously combust, or worse, burst into tears. For some reason, the stares and harassment were hitting him harder today than usual. It was practically torture getting through his classes, and it was torture trying to escape the school building with minimal injuries.

It's only when he was on his way walking home that he realized why. 

It was July 9th. Kaneshiro confessed his crimes to the police a year ago.

The memory of that day brought a small smile to Akira’s face. The days after, when they went out for sushi, still felt fresh in his mind. But the memory of that day also brought another realization. 

It was almost Summer. He would have to spend an entire summer in Inaba. There wouldn't be any school, so he would have the entire day to do…

Nothing.

The thought made him stop in his tracks, his mind overcome with the realization. Last year he was infiltrating a floating bank, stealing Kaneshiro’s treasure, and doing some actual  _ good _ in the world. Solving the corrupted hearts of rotten adults. But now?

Now he could barely get through the day without wanting to break down. Now he felt as if he could die tomorrow, and the entire town would cheer in response. He was just another faceless nobody in a crowd of thousands.

“Hey, Akira!”

Akira jolted from his thoughts, wondering why the voice he just heard sounded so happy to see him. He turned around to spot a familiar girl, dressed in a deep velvet bomber jacket and jeans. She was running over towards him, a smile on her face.

_ It's only Nanako, _ Akira exhaled in relief. He really didn't want to have to deal with anyone else today, but he didnt mind her. It was always good to see a friendly face. The tall girl eventually caught up to him, her black knee high boots clacking noisily on the sidewalk.

“Hey!” She exclaimed, a smile on her face. 

Akira gives her a small smile. “Hey yourself.”

“What's up with you?” She placed her hands onto her hips. “I texted you, but you never responded. I was a bit worried I got the wrong number or something.”

Akira felt his gaze fall to the floor, embarrassed. “Ah, I’m sorry. My parents, they. Um. took my phone. I can't text you.”

“Aw!” Nanako’s face fell in sympathy. “That sucks! Are you gonna get it back anytime soon?”

“I...don't think so.”

Nanako looked him up and down, concern growing on her face. “Are you...doing okay? You don't seem too hot.”

Akira felt the weight of the world on his shoulders. “I...I’m” He started to say, the words locked in his throat. For some reason, he couldn't form the words to tell her he was fine. He merely looked down, clutching his arms to himself. His mind was still reeling from his earlier realization, filling him with doubt and worry. _ God, I’m pathetic. I can’t even answer a simple question. What am I gonna do for an entire summer? How am I going to even  _ survive _ until then? _

Akira suddenly felt Nanako’s hand on his shoulder, the warmth of it dragging him out of his thoughts. “Hey, you still in there?”

Akira nodded, feeling tears trying to brim to the surface.  _ Why can't I control myself anymore, damnit! _ He cursed internally, closing his eyes roughly to try and force the tears away.

“Listen, do you...wanna come over for dinner?” Akira looked up at the girl in surprise. She smiled supportively. “I’d feel better if you had some meat on your bones. You look like a twig!” She leaned in closer and spoke in a quieter voice. “Plus, we can talk privately. This town watches everything, I swear.”

Akira stared at Nanako for a moment, her brown eyes seeming to sparkle. _If I leave to eat with Nanako,_ _my parents will be pissed_. He rationalized, _And Morgana won't know where I am. Who knows what my parents will do if I disobey again..._

He breathed in, about to deny her, when he stopped himself short. A good meal sounded like heaven. He felt like he hadn't eaten anything good since he was in Tokyo. And talking to someone without judgement… someone who didn't see him as a leader…. it just sounded way too good to be true.

“Can you cook? Or are you just asking me to be polite?” He asks sarcastically.

“Hey!” Nanako protested, shoving him away softly. “I’ll have you know, my older brother is a  _ masterful _ cook, and he’s taught me everything I know. Of course I can cook!”

Akira let out a smile. “Alright. I’m down, then.”

_ What's one more punishment? A _ kira thought, his rebellious spirit sparking within him once again as he followed Nanako through the streets of Inaba.

\-------------------

Nanako’s house is pretty simple, despite the fact that Nanako must be rich from her Idol work. He sits at the kitchen counter as she starts cooking, her mind apparently already made up on what she wanted to make as soon as she walked in the door.

“You are getting yakisoba! And that's final!” She proclaimed. 

Akira smiled in response, and Nanako started the cooking process, dragging out some pots and pans from the depths of one of her cupboards. Akira watched her for a moment before looking around the home from his spot on the chair.  _ Didn't she say her dad was retired? Where is he?  _ He decided after a minute to speak up about it. “Is your dad around?”

Nanako shrugs as she chops up some vegetables. “He went out into the city today for something.” She turns back to him. “He didn't tell me, but  _ I _ think he’s trying to find something for my birthday." She gives him a wink and dumps a bunch of vegetables onto a skillet, causing them to hiss from the heat. "I just know he's freaking out over it, even though its like...months away. It's just how he is.” 

Akira gives a small smile in response and gets up from the chair, deciding to look around a bit more. He spies a picture frame a few feet from him, on top of a set of drawers next to the couch. In the frame is, assumedly, a smaller version of Nanako. Her short hair is decorated into two pigtails, and she's dressed head to toe in pink. She’s posing for the camera over-dramatically, a peace sign displayed in both of her hands. Next to her in the frame is a teenager with silver hair. He’s dressed in some kind of gray uniform, his eyes focused on Nanako. A smirk decorates his face, his gray eyes filled with intense emotion. 

Akira looks over towards the other photographs littering the drawer. Each one of them shows the silver-haired boy alone in some exotic location; a jungle, a large city, a desert. Another picture shows him with an older man, wearing a gray dress shirt and tie, stubble decorating his face. The older man has the smaller version of Nanako in a hug, all of them smiling happily towards the camera. _ Must be her Dad,  _ Akira assumes. He looks back towards the first picture, trying to see the familial resemblance in the older brother.

Nanako notices Akira staring at the photos and gives a soft laugh. “That's my brother and me when we were younger.” She pauses, a strange look crossing over her face. “Well, he’s not  _ technically _ my brother. We’re actually cousins. But...we’re close enough to basically be siblings. I’ve called him my brother for as long as I’ve known him.”

“That's adorable.” Akira remarks casually, causing Nanako to blush in embarrassment.

“No it's not! It's normal! Whatever!” She goes back to cooking, her actions more furious than before. 

“You weren't kidding when you said your brother travels.” Akira remarks, focusing on a picture of the brother posing goofily with another boy in front of an English coffee shop, a British union jack flying in the background. The other boy had bright brown and spiky hair, headphones around his neck and his arms interlocked with Nanako’s brother.

“Yeah, He sends those pictures to us whenever he goes somewhere new, and my dad always puts them up” Nanako pauses again. “He’s never actually told me what exactly he does for a living, though. But I have my theories.” She says, a smirk taking over her face.

“Really? He’s never told you?” Akira walks back over to the kitchen, watching as Nanako finishes up the meal by adding some unknown spice to it.

“Nope. It's all very hush-hush.” She turns to him, a pair of tongs in her hands. “But  _ I  _ think he’s secretly some kind of spy!”

Akira raises an eyebrow in suspicion. “A spy?” he asks sarcastically.

“Yep!” Nanako exclaims, voice full of mirth. “Working for some kind of government agency, getting intel, all that jazz.” She turns towards the cabinet, taking dishes out to set that table. “I wouldn't put it past him honestly. He’s just that kind of guy.”

Akira’s eyes skim the photographs again, a burning question forming in his mind. He decided to risk it and ask Nanako. “What about your mom? I don't see her in any pictures.”

Nanako pauses from setting the table, looking at him with a sad smile. “My mom died in an accident when I was really little. I don't remember much, but...I do miss her.”

Now it's Akira’s turn to blush. “Ah. Sorry. I didn't mean to-”

Nanako shakes her head to interrupt him, the smile on her face turning bright again. “No worries! It happened a long time ago, I’ve done all the grieving I can for her.”

With that sentence, Nanako finishes setting the table and starts to dish out the Yakisoba, presenting it to Akira with gusto. As soon as Akira takes a bite, he’s struck with an intense feeling of nostalgia. He is struck with the memory of eating yakisoba with his friends in Tokyo at some point, after a successful heist. He could almost see it for a moment; The orange glow of the restaurant, the thick smell of the food, his friends bickering and laughter echoing in his head.

“Hey, you doing okay?” Nanako asks him, snapping him out of it.

Akira nods hesitantly. “Yeah. It just. It reminds me of…”  _ Home. _ “my friends. In Tokyo.”

Nanako looks interested. “You have friends in Tokyo?” Akira nods. “That's good! You have people to support you, and that's what's important.” Akira looks at her in confusion. _ Where is she going with this? _ He thinks. Nanako looks at him for a moment and then sighs, looking down towards the ground.

“Look. I know you probably don't want someone in your business, but. Part of the reason why I invited you over is so I could tell you something.” She looks up at him. “In...In the Idol business, people burn out easily. I see it all the time. Especially when they get massive hate online from fans for whatever reason.” She sighs. “What I’m trying to say is...I know what depression really looks like, Akira.”

Akira jolts in surprise.  _ What? What is she saying? I don't have depression. No way.  _ He almost blurts out in protest, but stops himself just short, not wanting to interrupt Nanako.

“You...You just looked so sad, Akira. Even now, when I look in your eyes…” She shakes her head. “I don't want to assume things, so you very well might be just fine, but...I’m worried. I’ve seen time and time again how people's thoughts can get the better of them. It...It almost got the better of me once, as well.” She admits, blushing. “But I got through it because I got help from my friends. So, if you really are struggling, then ask those friends you have in Tokyo. If not them, then...call me.” Nanako’s eyes seemed to stare into Akira’s soul. “I can be there for you.”

Akira looked at her blankly, wondering how to respond. “Um...thank you but. I don't think I have depression.” He fidgeted with the hands in his lap. “I mean, I may get down sometimes, but it's nothing serious.”

Nanako’s face didn't change at all. “If you think so.” Nanako got up and moved towards Akira, lowering herself so they were eye to eye. “Just...promise me one thing.”

“What is it?”

“If you ever feel like you're going to hurt yourself or...something worse...call me. Here, I wrote down my number for you, since you don't have your phone anymore.” She hands him a scrap of paper, folding it into his hands. “Even if it's minor, just call me. Okay? Promise?”

Akira felt himself freeze at the question. He felt his throat constrict. _ It's a little too late for that, but... _ “I promise.” The words felt like acid in his mouth.

Nanako leaned back with a smile on her face, satisfied with her answer. “Good! Alright.” She eyed the dirty plates on the table. “Sorry to ask, but do you mind helping me clean up?”

Akira nodded, and an even bigger smile burst across her face. She twirled around and picked up the dishes, making her way towards the sink. It was as if a switch had been flipped, and everything was back to normal. As if Nanako wasn't deadly serious not even a minute ago. Akira shook his head and got up to help.  _ I wont ever understand her,  _ he thinks.

\---------------------------

When he gets back home, his parents are less than thrilled.

His father hits him again, the shock of the slap to his face sending him reeling all over again. They send him up without any dinner, not that it matters, and tell him they’ll discuss his punishment later.

“What were you thinking?!” Morgana yowls at him once he enters his room. He sits down on his bed, dragging the covers so they fully encompass his lithe form. He feels himself melt a bit into them as Morgana continues. “I was worried! I was so close to going out and looking for you myself, you know.” 

“Sorry, I ran into Nanako on my way back, and she offered me some food, so I decided to hang with her for a bit.” Akira lifts his head towards Morgana. “Is that a problem?”

“What? No,” Morgana defends from his spot on the bed. He’s quiet for a moment before he lets out a sigh. “I just dunno if you should trust her.”

Akira raises his eyebrows. “Why not?”

“Well, she can hear me, for one.” Morgana reminds him. “The last time we met someone who could hear me, it didn't turn out that great, if you recall.”

_ Hmph. It's like he’s the damn boogeyman or something, both of us can't even say his name. _ Akira thinks ruefully. “She’s not like him. She's...actually pretty nice.”

“Well...she just gave me weird vibes, is all.” Morgana continues, his tail flicking back and forth. “Considering she can hear me, she may have a Persona of her own. I’m not saying you shouldn't hang out with her just...be careful. ”

Akira lets out a sigh. “Fine.” Personally, Akira didn't think she had ill-intentions. No awful person would give advice to some kid they had only met once before. He pulled out the phone number from his pocket, tracing his finger over the numbers, written in purple ink.

_ Maybe I’ll give her a call tomorrow. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -an actual wholesome chapter! Don't worry it gets worse >:)  
> -originally this was supposed to be apart of the previous chapter, but I had so much dang fun writing Nanako that it ran away from me and before I knew it, it was 2,500 words. So in good conscious, I HAD to split it up.  
> -I know it may seem OOC for Nanako to just invite him over like that. But the way I see it, Nanako has a sixth sense about people (like her tarot card I gave her suggests), and she could tell Akira was hurting, considering he just had a shitty realization right after seeing her again. So inviting him to dinner was just an excuse for her to give him advice and give him support. I hope my reasoning is enough to convince y'all.  
> -I tried. So hard. Not to include Yu and Yosuke. I really did!!! But they snuck their way in here, despite my efforts. I couldn't resist putting my boys in there, even if its just a small mention. God, I miss them.  
> -My Yu headcanons are as follows: 1. Yu goes around the world investigating Shadow/Metaverse activity shit. That's his job. and 2. He's a good cook. Read For the Sake of the Magician and you will understand why I think this. Thus concludes the Yu headcanons, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.  
> -Thanks so much for reading! Please kudos and comment! Comments are mainly what inspires me to keep going, so I would be really thankful if you gave me some feedback! Stay safe out there!!


	10. People make me scared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So...uh, AO3 deleted this chapter? For some reason? And didn't tell me? Or maybe I forgot to add it, I have no clue. I added this scene for clarification. I have NO IDEA why that happened but oh well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Abuse depiction

A couple of days went by before his so-called punishment took place. His father and mother acted as if he didn't exist for the entire four days, having conversations over him and never acknowledging him outside of a few evil glares.

When his punishment did hit, he didn't even realise it at first.

He woke up to an ordinary Sunday. Weekends were generally the best time of the week for Akira, as it was an escape from the harassment he faced at school. It wasn't all that much better, considering he still had to face his parents, but it was still better than school. He would often spend his Sundays doing a few chores at his parents request, or just lying in bed doing nothing.

Part of the reason why he was worried about Summer was because of this. It would be day after day of endless nothing. A listless, lazy summer. 

He was dreading it more than he cared to admit.

But he shoved those thoughts aside and got ready for the day. He brushed his hair and his teeth, and it was only when he walked into his room to get dressed that he realized something was very, very wrong.

Morgana wasn't in the room. He hadn't seen the cat all morning.

Akira brushed it off at first, assuming Morgana went out for the day, and continued to get ready. But as the day turned into evening, he began to get worried.

He started his search downstairs, figuring if he didn't find him in the house. he could go out and look for him outside. He reached the living room, spying his father on his favorite chair and reading a newspaper. _ Might not hurt to ask… even if he’ll ignore me.  _ Akira rationalized.

“Hey-” 

“What is it?” His father looked over towards him, his reading glasses leaning precariously off the edge of his nose. It was the first time he had actually spoken to him in almost a week.

“Have...Have you seen my cat around?” Akira asks after a moment of hesitation.

His father simply shook his head, flipping over a page to read more of the newspaper in his hands. “I told you there would be consequences for sneaking out the other day.”

Akira felt his blood freeze in his veins. “...What?”

“When you first came back here, I told you. One wrong move and the cat’s back on the streets. And you made a wrong move. So I kicked the cat out.”

Akira sits there frozen for a moment, still trying to process what his father did. “You…”

“Your father’s right sweetie,” His mother comes up behind him from the kitchen, putting her arm onto his shoulder. “It had to go. It’s your punishment.”

Akira felt his vision go pure red. He yanks his shoulder away from his mother. “Are you serious?!” His fist clenched tight. “Where did you put him?!”  
“Don’t use that tone of voice with me boy.” His father sighed and rose from his chair. “If you must know, I shooed the thing away. If it knows what's good for it, it’ll stay away from here.”

_ I can’t deal with this shit right now! _ His mind screamed. Akira huffed and dashed out of the room, headed towards the entryway to get his coat. _ I gotta go and find him!  _ He had just pulled one of the sleeves on when he heard his father approaching.

“Just where do you think you’re going?”

“I’m going to look for him.” Akira spat defiantly, shrugging the rest of the coat over his shoulders. Akira had turned his back to his father for only a moment to put his shoes on when he roughly grabbed him by his hair. He yelped in pain, his hands flying towards the back of his head. His father brought him close and whispered harshly into his ear.

“You’re not going anywhere.” His father then roughly shoved him to the ground, causing Akira to fall to his knees. Akira turned back to him, looking up at him from the ground with his hand rubbing the back of his head. 

His father roughly sucker punched him in the face, causing him to stumble and land on his back. “How dare you speak that way to me!” His father boomed, causing Akira to fling his arms in front of him to protect himself. “This is my house, my rules. You disobeyed those rules, so I had to punish you. What part of that do you not understand?” Akira spat a bit of blood from his mouth, his mind filled with pure hatred. 

“Kuri, dear, not so loud!” His mother whispered, coming up behind his father. “The neighbors…”

His father sighed, hands running through his hair. “You’re such a pain.”

The words echoed in Akira's head, mirroring the same words that Sojiro had told him back when he first moved in with the man. His father saw his distracted expression and took another opportunity to kick him roughly in the stomach.

“If I see that cat anywhere near here, I’m killing the damn thing. That’s a promise.” His father turned away from him, the light behind him making his shadow appear large and monstrous. “Go upstairs. You’re not getting any dinner tonight.” he started to walk away, and then stopped himself short, apparently not done. “And clean your blood off the floor.”

With that, his father left the entryway, his mother in tow. Akira laid there on the floor, deciding not to move until the coast was completely clear. After waiting for a moment, he pulled his arms from his face and sat back up, the pain from the two blows his father dealt occupying his thoughts. He winced when he stood, lifting his head to see the many stairs he had to climb up to escape to the safety of his room.  _ Goddamit it.  _ He thought, lifting up his foot to start the long process.

After the pain-filled climb, Akira found himself in front of his bathroom mirror, staring at his reflection. _ I’m sure Morgana will be back at some point _ . He thinks, lifting up his shirt to inspect the damage his father did to his body. He already had a fairly large bruise on his stomach from when his father kicked him the first time, and now the bruise was even larger and darker than before. _ I’ll just have to tell him that he can't live with me anymore. I’m sure I can find somewhere for him to live _ . He thinks, letting out a sigh, and dropping his shirt so it falls back down.  _ Maybe Nanako’s…?  _

He shoves that thought away. _ No, he doesn't trust her. I don't think he would agree to _ talk  _ to her, nevermind live with her. _ He looks back up to his face. The angry red of the bruise was just beginning to form on the left side of his face. He gingerly pokes at it, wincing in pain. 

_ It doesn't matter right now, I’ll worry about that later.  _ Akira decides, letting out a sigh and exiting the bathroom. He limps slowly back over towards his room, clutching the bruise on his stomach. When he enters, he sits carefully on his bed, and after a moment, pulls the covers over himself.

_ Morgana will be back. In fact, he’ll probably be back tonight.  _ He reaffirms, staring at the small bed he had set up for Morgana to sleep on in the corner of the room.  _ I just have to be patient. _

\----------------

Morgana, meanwhile, had known that something was wrong with Akira for a while.

It started out with small things Morgana would notice about him. The way he acted around his parents, and around his peers. He seemed to always be on defense, ready to face an attack at any moment. It got to the point that Akira would barely talk, and seldom smile. 

Whenever he would get home, it was like he would shut down. He would just lie in his bed for hours, staring up at the ceiling. He wouldn't respond unless Morgana called his name multiple times. It was like he was in some kind of trance. Morgana began to get increasingly worried about Akira as the days went on, even more so when he decided to stop bringing him to school.

_ It’s like he’s a different person here. _ Morgana thought one night as he watched Akira jolt awake from another nightmare. Morgana would often pretend to sleep whenever Akira would do this, evening his breath so Akira wouldn't have to lie through his teeth to tell Morgana that he was fine.  _ I don't know what I’m supposed to do to help him. _

After his father started hitting him, it got worse. He would act skittish all the time, jumping at loud noises and shutting down whenever someone yelled at him. They way he would act almost reminded Morgana of the other victims of Kamoshida, back when they first became Phantom Thieves.

He would always pretend that nothing was wrong. He would shove tears away, brush off his bouts of panic, and reassure Morgana that it was nothing. But Morgana knew it wasn't just nothing, and with every day that went by he began to get more and more worried for him.

Morgana didn't know exactly what was going on in Akiras head, but he knew that Akira couldn't go on like this. He had to have his friends back in his life.

So, when Akira’s father roughly shoved him outside, throwing things at him to get him to leave, Morgana knew what he had to do. He had to tell the others. 

He didn't tell the rest of the team earlier because Akira had asked him to, and because Akira seemed like he was doing just fine. But now, Morgana can’t deny what was happening to him anymore. He had to somehow contact the other Phantom Thieves.

The only thing is, Morgana couldn't exactly ask for a phone, and even if he did have access to one, he definitely didn't remember any of their phone numbers. So there really was only one option. 

He had to walk to Tokyo on foot.

Morgana knew it would suck. After a year of having a roof under his head, going back to roughing it like he did before he met Akira wouldn't be easy. 

But he had to. He couldn't let this go on.

So as Morgana neared the edge of town, his heart set on what he had to do, he gave a quick glance to the town behind him. The wind was whistling ominously, the threat of rain on the horizon. He took a deep breath, willing his words to reach Akira somehow.

“Be safe, Akira.” Morgana whispered to the air. “At least until I get them. Be safe.”

And with that, Morgana ran off, disappearing into the dark of the night.


	11. People make me so damn self-aware

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: self harm depiction, suicidal idealization, and anxiety attack.

After that first night, Akira had expected to see Morgana at some point the next morning. He even sat outside for a bit, watching passersby and expecting Morgana to get his attention at some point during the day.

But the day passed, and Morgana didn't show up.

Akira laid on his bed in his room that evening, staring at the ceiling. A feeling of doom and despair had been hanging around him all day, its presence cold and heavy on his chest.  _ This is just like with Okumura, _ He thinks.  _ Why did he leave this time? I didn't call him useless again, did I?...No, I didn't, but I haven't been the greatest friend to him. _ Akira realizes. _ I’ve been dismissive. Ignoring his suggestions.  _

Akira suddenly sat up. _ Did...he get tired of me? Because I’m not helping him or listening to him, did he just...leave? And Dad took credit for it? _ He shakes his head.  _ No way. Morgana wouldn’t do that. _ And yet, the cat had neglected to return, or even show up.

Akira got up suddenly, walking towards the bathroom. The hallway was chilly, making his bare feet feel like ice against the floor. He enters the bathroom, letting out a sigh as he closes the door _. I need to chill out _ . He thinks, starting up the faucet.  _ Morgana wouldn't just leave. He wouldn't.  _ He began washing his face in the bathroom sink, trying to clear his mind to no avail.  _ Except… He’s done it before. But he wouldn't do it again, at least not without telling me... _

He stared up at his face in the mirror, and was suddenly hit with a realization.  _ Oh god. He left because he couldn't stand me anymore. I was too weak, wasn't I? He didn't see me as the leader, so he left. That has to be why. _ He looks down at the floor, feeling tears build up in his eyes.  _ If I had only been stronger!  _

He shakes his head roughly, trying to rid himself of the tears, but they stubbornly kept falling. One of his only friends had left, in all likelihood, because of him. The tears started to fall, leaving warm tracks on his face. He tries to shove them back, but it's no use. He lets them fall after failing to suppress them, the heavy, dark feeling in his chest suddenly amplifying. He looks back at himself, suddenly reminded of the other night. Of the feeling he got when he struck his head against the wall. The urge to do it again was...overwhelming. The hurt feeling in his chest wouldn't go away, and he would do anything at this point to stop feeling like this. 

_ But I can't _ , He reminds himself. _ It makes too much noise. _ His eyes skim the bathroom counter, eventually falling on a pair of razors left haphazardly near the edge of the sink. It was gray, the handle a dull blue. No doubt his father’s.

_ No. I can't. That's...no. _ He tells himself, drying his face with a towel. When he drags the towel away, his eyes fall on the razor once again. 

He’s reminded of his promise to Nanako.

_ “If you ever feel like you're going to hurt yourself or...something worse...call me.” _

He wished more than anything he had a phone to call her. If he used the house phone, his parents would know, so that wasn't an option. _ I promised Nanako. _ He tells himself, trying to rid the thought from his mind. He opens the bathroom door and walks back towards his room, away from the razor.

But as he lies in his bed, staring at the ceiling, he can't stop thinking about it. The dark feeling in his chest practically overwhelmed him now.  _ Morgana left because you are weak,  _ a voice in his brain tells him.  _ Why not be as weak as others think you are?  _

He sits up.  _ Nanako didn't say not to, she just said to call her _ . The voice reminds him. _ If you can’t call her...then… _

He gently puts his ice cold feet to the floor. _ I shouldn't do this, _ he thinks as he walks towards the bathroom once again. He opens the door, and stares at the razor. The glint of the metal reflected the light of the room. Akira quickly takes the razors out of the handle before he can stop himself. He half-runs back to his room, shutting the door and throwing himself onto his bed.

He stares at them, the weight almost comforting in his palm. He takes one of them, pushing the rest to the side and turning it over in his hands. He presses one of his fingers to the blade, pulling it back quickly once he realized how sharp it actually was.

_ Not on my wrist. _ He rationalizes. People would notice. He shifts his pajama pants down to his knees, his eyes boring holes into his thighs. They were pale, the only mark he had was from the scar in the interrogation room. He brings the razor to his skin, relishing in the feeling of the cool metal against the warmth of his flesh. 

_ I really shouldn't do this, _ he thinks again. But the feeling in his chest kept growing larger by the moment. His mind kept screaming at him about weakness, making it hard to think. He takes another look at the razor, his eyes burning from tears.

_ Anything is better than feeling this, _ he thinks. And with that, he cuts himself open, laying himself bare to the darkness of his room.

\------------------------------

The next day was the worst he had in awhile.

The school was practically a warzone for him at this point. Someone had written all over his desk, the words ‘criminal’ written in pitch black ink covered the surface. The teacher told him to clean it up, looking entirely unsympathetic. The entire day he felt tense, worried that somehow everyone around him had figured out what he did the night before. 

The notes were as bad as usual, and Akira shoved them all in his backpack dully. _ Maybe I should just end it already, if they want it so bad. _ He suddenly thinks. He quickly shoves the thought away, terrified he even thought about it.  _ No, I can't think like that. I have to stay alive for my friends.  _

_ But are they really your friends? _ That same voice from last night echoed in his brain.  _ You just made deals with them. They’ll leave once they realize how weak you really are, once they see those scars. Just like Morgana did. _

He tried to put the thought out of his mind, but it just wouldn't go away. He sat in class and stared at the board, not processing anything that was being said, for hours on end. He kept trying to buckle down and actually do his work, but everytime he tried his mind would go blank, still hung up in his thoughts from earlier. 

During all this, the stinging from his thighs would catch his attention every once in a while. Whenever someone hissed harshly in his ear, or tripped him up in the hallway, he would rub his hands harshly over his thighs, the dull pain helping him feel grounded. He felt disgusted with himself for doing it, but this didn't stop him.

Akira hadn't even been able to keep down his lunch, his mind going into overdrive with guilt and shame. He had thrown up during lunch break, in the bathroom stall where he usually ate his lunch to get away from the stares of his peers. Afterward, he felt even more ashamed of himself, flushing down the vomit and washing his mouth out in the sink. But no matter how much he washed, he just couldn't get the taste out of his mouth.

\-------------

Once the day was over, Akira sighed heavily. He was finally free of the place, but he still felt insanely tense and keyed up. He wandered a bit on his way walking home, not feeling like facing his parents just yet.  _ They can't really do anything else to me, anyway. _

As he walked, his eyes caught on a lone payphone. He stared at it for a second.

_ I could call Nanako.  _ Akira realizes.  _ To make up for last night. _

Akira stared at the pay phone numbly, his mind going into overdrive.  _ I really shouldn't do this.  _ He thinks to himself, even as he walks towards it, digging through his pockets to produce some change. _ I shouldn't interrupt her day like this. But…  _ He shakes his head, and opens the door. The phone booth was warm, the glass walls reflecting the heat from the sun. He puts in the coins and begins to dial the number he had committed to memory, exhaling a shaky breath. 

It rings for a few moments, and by the third dial tone, it connects.

“Hello? Who’s this?”  
_Shit._ Akira thinks. _I don't think I can do this._ He clears his throat. “It's...it's me. Akira.”

“Oh! Hey!” Nanko sounds happy to hear him. “Gimme a few seconds, I’ll be right with you.” Akira can hear her faintly talking to someone else over the line. He clenches his hands over the plastic, every second leaving him more tense. He feels cornered in the small booth, and he backs himself up onto the glass wall, trying to give himself more space. He notices his hands beginning to shake violently.

Eventually, she comes back. “Sorry about that, I had to deal with boring management stuff.” She gives a small laugh. “So, whats up? Any reason why you called?”

“I...um…” Akira can feel something building in his chest, his entire body now starting to shake. He feels entirely too tense, as if he could burst from his seams. “You...s-said to call. If I...you know.”

Nanako’s tone shifts to be more serious. “Where are you right now?”

“I’m...at a payphone.” 

“The metal one Seaview street?”

“Uh, no. The one on-”

“Dahlia street?”  
“Yeah.”

Nanko gives out a sigh. “Okay. Anyone nearby?”  
Akira looks around him, his eyesight starting to get blurry. “Um...an old couple...I think, it's hard to see. Right now.”

“Mmm. Akira, are you safe right now?”

“I..I…” he couldn't get the words out no matter how hard he tried, his breathing coming out loud and heavy. He couldn't get enough air in.  _ Holy shit, I’m dying. _ He thinks, bringing his spare hand up to cover his face. 

“It's okay, you don't have to answer.” Nanako sounded completely calm. “Could you do me a favor?”

“W-what is it.”

“Can you name five things you can see? Right now. Tell me five things you can see around you.”

“Why?”

“Just...do it? I promise it’ll help.”

Akira lets out another shaky breath. “I. Ah. I see the phone in front of me.”  
“Mmhmm. What else.”

Akira directs his gaze to outside of the phonebooth. “C-clouds. A...yellow bike. A bench. My shoes.”

“Alright. Now name me four things you can feel or touch.”

“The plastic from the phone. T-the metal from the booth. My...glasses.” He pauses for a moment, trying to think of more things to say. He shifts his hand to mess with the front of his hair, a common tick he can't seem to get rid of. “My hair.”

“Cool. Now, three things you can hear.”

“Well, you.” That gets a laugh from Nanako, and Akira feels less alone suddenly. “A bird, somewhere outside. The...booth is creaking.”

“Two things you can smell?”

_ This whole exercise is making me feel like I’m in grade school again, _ he thinks. But it did seem to be helping. He tries, and fails, to take a deep breath. “Metal. From the booth. And...my shampoo?”

“Okay. One thing you can taste.”

“Ah.” Akira cringes, reminded of earlier. “Vomit. Is that...” He trails off

“It's fine, Akira.” Nanako responds. “Now, I want you to synch up your breathing with my counts. Could you do that?”

“I can try.”

He proceeded to follow Nanako’s instructions, breathing in and out with her count. Soon, the thoughts that were racing around his head at breakneck speed felt...slower somehow. More controlled. The darkness trying to overtake his vision faded, as well as the crushing feeling in his chest. He no longer felt like he was going to burst open at any second. 

“Thank you.” Akira exhales once he feels like he’s got his breathing under control. _ I can't believe I had to be coached how to breathe, like I’m some toddler. _ He thinks. He shoves his one hand in his pocket, the other loosening his harsh grip on the payphone.

“It's no problem!” Nanako responds. “Unfortunately, I’ve seen my own fair share of panic attacks. I’m just glad I could help.”

“How...How’d you know?” He finds himself asking. “That I was having a…” He couldn’t bring himself to say it.

“Oh, by your voice.” Nanako says casually, like it's not a big deal. “Plus, your breathing.” Akira mulls this over for a moment. _Am I really that transparent? That people can tell something is wrong by just my voice?_ _  
_ Nanako continues. “Is there any reason? Why you had the attack, I mean.”

“Ah.” Akira looks down, feeling a bit guilty. “My...My cat ran away.”

“Oh no!” Nanako gasped. “Did you guys get in an argument or something?”

Akira slowly blinks.  _ I keep forgetting she can actually hear Morgana. _ “No, my dad kicked him out. He...he hasn't made any contact with me. I think…”  _ I think he finally got sick of me.  _ He thinks but does not say.

“That’s horrible. I hope he comes back!” Nanako cheers on. 

“Yeah, me too.” Akira remarks. “It’s kinda stupid I reacted that much over it, though.”

Nanako is silent, before she speaks up in a serene tone. “It's nothing to be ashamed of, you know.” Akira practically flinches back from the phone. “Lots of people suffer from panic attacks. Everybody just pretends they don't exist.” She lets out a sigh. “Listen, can you promise me you’re not gonna hurt yourself?”

Akira is silent, the previous night fresh in his mind.

Nanako is undeterred. “Okay. That's fine. Can you at least promise me you wont kill yourself?”

“...yeah.” Akira breaths out on an exhale. “I won't. I promise.”

“Good.” Nanako sounds happier, or maybe it's just Akira’s imagination. “I’m really sorry, but I gotta go. Idol stuff.” She really sounds regretful. “Can you promise me you’ll call sometime soon?”

Akira feels nostalgia, strangely. “It’s all promises with you, isn't it?”

Nanako laughs. “Yep. It's just part of being friends with me, get used to it.” She teases back.

Akira feels a smile start to grow on his face, his cheeks sore. “Yeah. I’ll call you.”

“Great!” Nanako responds. Akira is just about to hang up when Nanako says something else. “There are people who care about you. Please don't forget that.”

Akira suddenly feels tears spring to his eyes. “Y-yeah.” He manages to choke out.

“Alright! I’ll see you later!” Nanako then hangs up, leaving Akira standing dumbfounded, the phone still at his ear. He puts the phone back on the receiver numbly, walking out of the booth entirely on autopilot. He spent the rest of his walk home staring at the ground, his mind repeating Nanako’s last sentence over and over until he got home. 

_ There are people who care about you. Please don't forget that. _

_ Please don't forget that _

_ Please don't. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -oof. this one hurt to write  
> -I hope I didn't make Akira too OOC for this. But hey, months of abuse can change a person, so I'm just praying his actions seem realistic.  
> -I didn't want to depict the self harm outright bc it made me lowkey really sad, plus it would be very triggering for some folks. Hope that's okay!  
> \- Also, I haven't had much time to finish P5r, so I just finished Okumura's palace and I forgot how much I HATE Okumura's bossfight. Fuck that man and his 50+ robots, holy shit. The vent puzzle can go screw itself also.  
> \- I often use Nanako's technique to bring me down from my own anxiety attacks, so I wanted to include it here.  
> -Y'all. This next chapter. Y'all ain't ready. I screamed while writing it. like, audibly. You're gonna hate me for this one, lads. (Spoiler: we cut back to Morgana's POV and shit isn't gucci.)  
> -okay I'm currently experiencing a sugar high bc I drank a coolata, so I'll end it here. Thanks for reading, and please kudos and comment! I love y'all, and stay safe!


	12. Pathetic little man,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Discussion of abuse

In total, it took Morgana three days of travel to get to Tokyo.

The small cat traveled the entire way by foot, following road signs as best he could to try and find the best route to get to the city. He got lost a few times, and was yelled by some cranky shop owner for sleeping on his porch that first morning, but overall, the trip wasn't as bad as Morgana expected it to be.

When he did reach Tokyo, it got a bit harder. The city looked very different from the ground then it usually looked from Akira’s bag, after all. Morgana kept getting lost, unable to ask anyone for help, considering no one could actually hear him. Eventually, after much trial and error, he snuck onto a train car following the Ginza line. He did his best to try and hide himself from sight the entire ride, ducking behind some guy's guitar case when a conductor passed by. When he heard a familiar stop, he leaped out of the train car, dodging and weaving through the huge crowd of people in the station. Reaching the streets of Yogen-Jaya filled him with intense relief, as well as nostalgia.

Finally, after three days full of rough travel and sleepless nights, Morgana found himself in front of LeBlanc.

It was shop hours, so he figured he would find either Sojiro or Futaba at LeBlanc, rather than at their place of residence. He leapt towards the door handle, trying to open it himself. But since it was a circular knob, Morgana just flopped right back down to the ground, annoyed.

 _So much for a cool entrance,_ The cat thought. He quickly decided to try and get the attention of whoever was inside by yelling instead.

“Futabaaa!” Morgana practically yowled. “Sojiro!!! Open the door! It’s me!” There was silence for a moment, and a few passersby that were walking by the small cafe looked at the feline with pity. Morgana sighed and tried again, louder this time and scratching at the door. “FUTABA!!! HEY! OPEN THE DOOR!”

Suddenly, there was a crash from inside. Morgana rolled his eyes as he heard frantic shuffling, and soon enough, the door burst open. Unfortunately, what greeted him wasn't Futaba, but Sojiro. The older man stood in the doorway, his striped apron covered with stains. He looked around for a moment before lowering his gaze to the ground, surprise clear on his face.

“Huh? Is that...Morgana!?”

“Great, the one guy who can't hear me decides to answer the door.” Morgana grumbles. He nods, and makes his way inside the cafe, much to Sojiro’s bewilderment. The cafe is empty, as usual. Morgana swivels his head, but unfortunately, Futaba is nowhere to be found.

“You don't look too great. What happened to you, huh?” Sojiro commented, picking him casually and placing him on the counter, much to Morgana’s disdain. The older man then walked away, going towards the back of the shop. The cat did, indeed, look like it had been put through the wringer. Morgana’s fur was wet and matted, still not completely dry from getting caught in a sudden downpour earlier that morning. Morgana sat on the counter for a moment, feeling slightly guilty for tracking water in.

“Here.” Sojiro returned with a fluffy towel, immediately covering Morgana with it and rubbing it, in an attempt to get the feline dry. While Morgana put up a front of being annoyed, he was secretly grateful. He hadn't been truly clean or comfortable for three whole days, so the warm towel was a welcome change. Sojiro steps back, and Morgana situates himself into the towel, fully covering his body in the soft fabric. 

“Well, don't you look cosy,” Sojiro comments lightheartedly. Though he has a smile on his face, his eyes are clearly full of worry. “If you're here, does that mean...Akira’s back also?”

Morgana’s breath hitches, hesitating before he solemnly shakes his head.

“Ah, I keep forgetting you can understand me.” The Boss rubs the back of his neck. “He’s still in his hometown then?”

Morgana nods.

“Then…” Sojiro sighs, rubbing his hands over his fac. “I can't do this. I got way too many questions with no way of hearing your answers.” He eyes the cat, giving it a once over. “I’ll call Futaba. She’s home right now.”

Morgana frantically nods.

Soon enough, after a few words from her adoptive father, Futaba rushes into LeBlanc, her glasses askew and clearly out of breath.

“Holy shit! Morgana!”

“Futaba, language.”

Futaba cringes. “Sorry, dad.” She speed walks to Morgana, who is still lying underneath the blankets. “What's going on! Why are you here?”

Morgana sighs. “It's better if you can get the whole team here so I can explain.”

“But like… how did you even get here?”

“I walked.”

“You...walked!?”

“Morgana walked here all by himself?” Sojiro spoke up. 

Morgana stuck his chest out in pride. “Yep. Wasn't a big deal, I’m used to roughing it.”

“That's...not exactly the point.” Futaba sighed. “Seriously. Whats up? Is Akira here?”

Morgana shakes his head just as Sojiro speaks up. “Yeah. I asked that earlier, and he confirmed Akira was still in his hometown.”

Futaba looks back over at Morgana. “Is...he okay?”

“To tell you the truth...no.” Futaba’s face falls, and Morgana sinks further into the towel. “You really need to get the others here. I won't say anything more until we get everyone together.”

“Roger that!” Futaba salutes, and starts frantically texting the group chat.

\-------------------

  
  


**[Once a Phantom Thief ALWAYS a Phantom Thief] group chat**

_(Futaba): Guys_

_(Futaba): You all gotta meet me at LeBlanc ASAP_

_(Futaba): Morgana’s here by himself_

_(Ann): Huh!? (. ͡• ⏥ ͡•.)_

_(Ryuji): Morgana’s HERE?_

_(Yusuke): Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t Morgana living with Akira still?_

_(Makoto): Yeah, How did he get to Tokyo?_

_(Futaba): Apparently he walked???_

_(Ryuji): Wtf?!?_

_(Futaba): He says he needs to talk to us all in person_

_(Futaba): It's about Akira._

_(Ann): Omg!!! (⊙.⊙)_

_(Ryuji): God, FINALLY some info! Everytime I text him they just bounce back and don't send!_

_(Haru): Same here._

_(Haru): Is he okay? (͠◉_◉᷅ )_

_(Futaba): According to Morgana...no_

_(Haru): Oh no..._

_(Yusuke): Now I’m even more worried._

_(Futaba): Morgana wont tell me anything else, at least not until you’re all here._

_(Makoto): If it's okay with everyone, I think we should meet at LeBlanc after school today._

_(Makoto): That is, if you are all free_

_(Haru): Absolutely._

_(Ryuji): I’m down!_

_(Ann): Same here!_

_(Yusuke): I might be a bit late, but I’ll be there._

_(Makoto): Then we are all in agreement._

_(Futaba): Cool, I’ll tell Sojiro._

\-------------------------------------

The hours waiting for the rest of the team to arrive at the cafe were nothing less than torture for Futaba. She kept trying to ask the many, many questions she needed answered to Morgana, but he just sat still on that cafe counter, refusing to answer any of them until the rest of the team arrived. Sojiro had some kind of important business to take care of, so he reluctantly had to leave the shop before the rest could arrive and get some answers out of the small cat. He told Futaba to update him on the whole situation as soon as he came back, and left shortly after Futaba stopped texting the groupchat, turning the sign to closed on his way out.

Eventually, the time arrived, and each of the team started to arrive one by one. Ann and Ryuji arrived first, followed by Makoto and Haru, and then finally Yusuke, who was only late because he had to get off the train a stop early to save money. They talked casually for a bit, but it was clear everyone was on edge. 

“Okay. I guess I should start,” Morgana began, everyone's eyes immediately drawn to him. “I suppose you have questions.”

“You got that right.” Ryuji snarked back. “We haven't heard from him in months! And suddenly you show up out of the blue saying he’s in trouble?” He scratches the back of his head, clearly frustrated but also concerned. “You bet your ass I’ve got questions.”

“That's what I wanted to ask first.” Yusuke took over. “Why hasn't he been answering us? It’s...not like him.”

“Yeah. He always answers my texts…” Futaba mumbled.

“The reason why he hasn't been texting is because he physically _can't_.” Morgana explained. “His parents broke his phone.”

“What?” Haru gasped.

Futaba looked at the cat with wide eyes, the idea being without a phone a foreign concept to her. “That’s crazy!”

“That's messed up.” Ann agreed. “D’ya know why?”

Morgana looked away from them, his expression pensive. “This...This is hard. The truth is, Akira hasn't been doing very well lately. He hasn’t been for a while.”

“I knew it.” Ryuji sighed. “I should've said something the first time.”

“The first time? What do you mean?” Makoto looked over at Ryuji.

Ryuji rubbed the back of his neck, clearly full of guilt. “When he visited us during golden week, I...I caught him trying to put makeup over a bruise on his face.”

“Huh!?” Ann looked at him in shock.

Haru looked hurt. “Why didn't you tell us?”

Ryuji looked down, expression pensive. “He made me promise not to tell you guys. He said he got it because some guys jumped him...I didn't really believe it, but you know how Akira is. Getting personal information outta him is like pulling teeth.” He kicked his injured leg out towards the air, seemingly out of habit. “He told me that he was being harassed at school, but he said it wasn't a big deal, and that he had it handled.”

“He _did_ get the bruise from being jumped, I was there to see it.” Morgana confirmed. “But, the harassment he mentioned is definitely getting to him. He keeps sugar coating it and telling me he’s fine, that it's not a big deal, but I can tell he’s bothered by it. The harassment keeps getting worse and worse by the day.”

“What kind of harassment?” Yusuke asked.

“The other students at his school all have him pegged as this dangerous criminal. They try to trip him up in hallways, say rude things about him right in front of him, and they verbally harass him constantly. Calling him scum, saying he doesn't deserve to live…” Morgana paused. “It’s awful.”

“Are they like when he first came to Shujin?” Ann mentioned.

“Oh yeah! Those rumors were really awful, from what I remember.” Haru piped up.

“Yeah,” Morgana continued. “But from what I’ve seen, the rumors in Inaba are way worse than Shujin, probably because it's a small town.”

“The reason why those rumors died at Shujin was because of Kamoshida’s confession.” Makoto mentioned. “Akira’s probably the most interesting thing that's happening in a town as small as that. He’s bound to fuel a nasty rumor mill, especially if they know about his criminal record.”

“There's something else. Didn't they shove mean notes in his locker too?” Ryuji piped up. “I remember you forced him to mention that.”

“Yeah. The notes are...really bad.” Morgana spoke up, his eyes cast downward

“I still don't understand why you didn't tell us!” Ann fumed, looking at Ryuji.

“Look, I really wanted to! But…” Ryuji sighed. “He was pretty convincing. I really thought it wasn't that bad, and that he had it under control.”

“He’s always like that.” Futaba piped up. “He always acts like nothing bothers him.”

“Then...why didn't _he_ tell us?” Ann trailed off, crossing her arms in front of her. “He knows that we wouldn't judge him for it, so...why?”

“He might not know that.” Makoto spoke up.

Haru’s eyes widened. “Wait, what do you mean?”

Makoto clears her throat. “The reason why he didn't tell us is probably because...we all see him as a leader.” The rest of the thieves looked over at Makoto in confusion before she began to explain. “In my time as Student Council President, a bunch of people looked up to me and saw me as a leader, like him. I know that's kinda small-potatoes compared to the stuff we did, but...I took it very seriously. I thought I had to be perfect, that I couldn't slip up and be…”

“Useless?” Ann mentioned, a small smile on her face.  
Makoto sighed, but had a matching smirk on her face. “Yes, that. I’m not saying that's exactly what's happening to Akira, but...that's probably the reason why he told Morgana and Ryuji everything was fine. And why he didn't mention the problem to any of us. He didn't want to be seen as weak.”

“But, don't he understand we don't think of him like that?” Ryuji asked.

“Yeah! We know the guy isn't invincible!” Ann spoke up.

Yusuke spoke up, looking very forlorn. “He might not, considering he hasn't had any contact with us.”

“About that.” Futaba turned back to Morgana. “You didn't answer before. You said his parents broke his phone? Why’d they do it?”

Morgana hesitated for a moment before taking a deep breath. “After golden week, his parents got really mad at him for sneaking out. They…” Morgana looked back down. “They’ve been abusing him ever since.”

The room became deathly still, every one of them frozen in shock.

Makoto looked pale. “Are you serious?”

“Deadly.”

“Abusing him...how?” 

“They haven't said a single nice thing to him the entire time he’s been home.” Morgana shook his head. “They constantly undermine him and make him feel like trash. The night he came home after being jumped, his mom had the _nerve_ to yell at him all because he lost the groceries after he got beat up.”

“Holy crap, that's bad. How’d he take all that?” Ryuji asked.

“The thing is, I think that his parents were rude to him even before he moved here.” Morgana was looking in the distance, unfocused. “He reacted like it was normal, like nothing was wrong with his parents constantly yelling at him, or barging into his room without warning and ordering him around.”

Yusuke nodded. “I see.” Many of the thieves looked at Yusuke in confusion before he continued. “He would almost never talk about his past with us, correct? If he truly hated his parents and his town, and knew that they always treated him with scorn, it would make sense why he wouldn't want to talk about it.” 

“Yeah! He didn't tell us why he was really arrested in the first place until the hotpot, and even then, we had to force it outta him.” Ryuji remarked.

“Wait a second!” Futaba perked up. “Wasn't he acting a little weird when we were driving back to drop him off at his house?”

Makoto’s eyes widened. “Yeah, he seemed out of it. More than usual, anyway. I even asked him if he was alright.”

“So the signs were there,” Haru said, sorrow in her voice. “We just didn't notice until it was too late.”

“But...didn't you say the abuse started after Golden week?” Futaba pointed out after a short period of silence.

“I definitely think it was happening before then, but since Golden week, the abuse has gotten worse.” Morgana added. He looked down, his expression full of hesitation. “I didn't want to mention this a few weeks ago, because I value Akira’s privacy, but...I can't let it slide anymore.”

“Don't tell me. No way.” Ryuji uttered, his voice practically a whisper.  
“They started beating him.” Morgana’s spat out after hesitating, his bright blue eyes filled with torment. “They hit him, or even starve him, almost every other day, for _meaningless_ reasons. When he came home after golden week they...beat him up and broke his phone. That’s why he couldn't call you.”

“No. No way…” Ann took a step back. She had seemingly froze in shock from the news, arms half-raised and her eyes brimming with tears.

“If-If you’ll excuse me.” Yusuke suddenly bolted from his spot on the cafe chair, immediately making a beeline towards the bathroom. The rest of the group could hear faint sounds of vomiting a mere moment later. Ryuji’s face had drained of any color, his whole form practically shaking, his fists drawn tight at his sides. Haru had both of her hands covering her mouth, her expression full of sorrow. Futaba was frantically picking at her hangnails, her face strained, like she was trying to contain a flood of emotion.

“You said this has been happening since Golden week?” Makoto asked, the first to speak after the pregnant pause. She was looking at the ground, her expression dead.

“Yes.” Morgana replied.

Makoto raised her head from the floor to look back up at the cat, her eyes brimming with fury. “We have to get him out of there.”

Futaba suddenly slammed her hands onto the counter, causing everyone to look up in shock. “We can't stand by and let this happen.” Her voice shook, but did not break.

Yusuke emerged from the cafe bathroom a few seconds later, wiping his mouth and looking like death warmed over. Despite this, his expression was one of pure anger, eyes full of determination. “I agree.” He spoke, his voice full of emotion. “We can't let this continue any longer.”

“Damn right.” Ryuji spoke with his teeth clenched.

“I’m glad you all think so.” Morgana said. “His parents kicked me out three days ago. I recommend we go and get him as soon as possible.”

“I agree,” Haru squeaked. “He’s been alone, with his _parents_ , for two days. I can't imagine what he’s feeling right now.”

“But what can we do?” Makoto wondered aloud. “We can't just kidnap him. We got to find a way to do this legally.”

“C’mon Makoto!” Ryuji half-yelled. “We can't be thinking about that right now!”

“I agree.” Yusuke said serenely despite his disheveled appearance. “Getting him out and away from those people should be a number one priority.”

“I understand that, but if we just take him his parents might freak out and slam us with kidnapping charges.” She sighed heavily. “I’m just saying we should think this through.”

Ann, who hadn’t spoken up since Morgana had told them what was happening, suddenly shook her head fiercely. “No.” She defiantly spat. The group turned towards her, concern on all their faces. Her expression was pained, but her eyes sparkled with defiance. “I...I won’t let what happened to Shiho happen again. Not ever. If we don't act now, and get him away from those people, then...then he might do something drastic like Shiho did. I won't…” She shook her head again. “No, I _can't_ let that happen. Not again.”

The group was silent for a moment, all thinking over Ann’s words. It was a while before Makoto spoke up once more.

“I...You’re right. You all are. We should get him out of there. But...” 

“We’ll have time to hash out what we are gonna do on the ride there.” Morgana pointed out. “I agree with you Makoto, but...I don't know if he’ll survive another week there.”

“Getting him out first is a good plan. We can worry over the details and legal stuff later.” Haru said, placing one of her hands on Makoto’s shoulder.

“Yeah, we’ll figure it out as we go.” Ryuji said. “Isn't that always how we do it?”

Futaba smiled back hesitantly. “Yeah. That's always how the phantom thieves roll.”

Makoto gave a small smile. “You’re right guys, I...getting him away from there...that’s what’s most important.”

There was a small pause, each member of the group deep in their own thoughts, until Yusuke spoke up. 

“So. What time should we go?”

“I recommend we go as soon as possible.” Morgana advised, his tail flicking back and forth.

“Same here.” Ann agreed, wiping the tears off of her face.

“How about tomorrow, after school?” Makoto offered. “Does that work for everyone?”

A chorus of agreement was the response from the group. Makoto nodded, her expression fierce.

“Then let's go get him.”

  
  


\-------------------------

  
  


**[Ryuji] changed the group chat name to [Oparation: Save Akira!!!]**

_(Futaba): ( ≖.≖)_

_(Ann): You spelled Operation wrong, dumbass._

_(Ryuji): OH SHIT REALLY??_

**[Futaba] changed the group chat name to [Operation: Save our boy!!!]**

_(Yusuke): Our...boy? (≖᷆_︣≖)_

_(Futaba): Yeah! He’s our boy!_

_(Yusuke): How is he our boy? I don't understand._

_(Ann): There are many things about Futaba no one will ever understand._

_(Futaba): Hey!_

**[Ann] changed the group chat name to [Operation: Save Akira!!!]**

_(Futaba): booo._

_(Futaba): Ur no fun >:( _

_(Makoto): Stop messing around guys._

_(Makoto): This is serious._

_(Futaba): Sorry, sorry._

_(Futaba): I use humor to cope_

_(Haru): You’re valid_

_(Futaba): （っ＾▿＾）_

_(Makoto): So the plan is to drive over there after school tomorrow. We are meeting up in Yogen-Jaya, near Leblanc, around 3:30. Are we all in agreement?_

_(Futaba): Aye Aye_

_(Ann): Yes!_

_(Yusuke): Indeed_

_(Haru): Yep!_

_(Ryuji) Yeah_

_(Makoto): Then, let Operation: Save Akira commence._

_(Futaba): Yesss!!!_

_(Ryuji): Hell yeah_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -ahahaha. As I said, shit was not Gucci.  
> -Next chapter I'm gonna talk MORE about how the thieves feel about this individually, so if you're questioning some things about the characters motivations, they will be answered, don't you worry.  
> \- I want you all to know that when I wrote "behind some guy's guitar case when a conductor passed", I was thinking of Given. Fuck. I just binged it all and that show hurted.  
> -I didn't mean to include Coffee Dad in here but...he just kinda snuck his way in here. What can I say?  
> -SO. MANY. CHARACTERS. IN ONE SCENE. Thank god there's not an action scene in the future, I CANNOT write those to save my life. ( ͠❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛) Jkjkjk. Unless...?  
> -Playing Royal and not skipping scenes was def a good choice bc now I'm reminded how much I love all my children and I can characterize them better. God bless.  
> -Every single time I think I'm getting close to the end I end up writing WAY more then I plan and I have to split it up and add another chapter. Expect these next chapters to be long as fuck, gang.  
> -Thank you for all of the loving comments and Kudos! I'm overjoyed y'all love this so much. if you haven't, please drop a Kudos my way, its greatly appreciated. Love you guys, and stay safe! (ɔ◔‿◔)ɔ ♥


	13. (Interlude)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Some brief discussion about past abuse.

Explaining everything to Sojiro was one of the hardest things Futaba thinks she’s ever done. And that includes fighting off the monster cognitive version of her Mom in her own palace.

When he came home, he immediately wanted answers. Telling him exactly what had been done to Akira...Futaba didn't want to even think about what he had been through, never mind explain it to Sojiro. But she did end up telling him, in a slightly watered down version. After the whole lying-about-being-a-phantom thief-for-months situation, Futaba didn't ever want to lie to Sojiro again, and hiding something this big from him would have just been cruel.

When she told him, he got pretty mad. His expression quickly changed into something deadly serious. He almost immediately wanted to drive all the way to Akira to get him, and it was only through Futaba’s convincing that she stopped him. For a moment, she was scared that Sojiro would forbid her from going and just head out there himself, but luckily, he did no such thing. She had to do a little begging and pleading, but eventually he told her she could go pick him up. No one really could say no to Futaba’s ‘moe eyes’, as she dubbed them. He told her to be careful, and that he would take care of the legal side of things. He was always trying to give her more freedom after the years she spent inside, and while Futaba felt a little bad for taking advantage of that, it didn't stop her from wanting to go get Akira out of there herself. The information bomb she dropped on him clearly hurt Sojiro, though he was trying to hide it. Futaba could see a spark in his eyes, and she cringed at the thought that Sojiro was probably experiencing Deja vu from his experience adopting Futaba herself.

After that emotional conversation, Futaba was practically exhausted. She flopped herself onto her bed, staring up at the glow in the dark stars on her ceiling. She laid there for a moment before springing back up. _I’m definitely not going to sleep tonight_. She thinks. She couldn't get Akira out of her mind. The whole thing felt way too familiar to her. She kept imagining her past, but instead of her experiencing all of the awful things her Uncle did, it was Akira in her place instead. 

She shook her head, trying to dispel the negative thoughts, and picked up her phone. Futaba had already decided to de-stress with some extremely violent video games for the night. But before she lost herself to her game console, she decided to text Yusuke privately. His reaction earlier...kinda worried her. Granted, most everything about people in general worried her, but that's besides the point. She sends him two texts, not expecting him to answer right away.

_(Futaba): Hey, are you okay?_

_(Futaba):Vomiting like that really must’ve sucked._

It was only a moment before she got a reply.

_(Yusuke): I’m inclined to agree with you there_

_(Yusuke): I didn't eat much today, so nothing really came up anyway._

_(Yusuke): But I’m fine, thank you for worrying_

_(Futaba): Are you sure?_

_(Futaba): That reaction was kinda intense._

_(Yusuke): That's one word for it._

_(Yusuke): I didn't expect it to affect me that much._

_(Futaba): Can I ask why? If you don't want to tell me that's cool._

Futaba didn't get an answer for a while. Yusuke’s icon that said he was typing kept showing up briefly before disappearing just as quickly. _I’m an idiot!_ Futaba mentally chided herself, smacking her face into the phone. _He’s gonna think I’m nosy! And weird!_ But after a few moments of mental anguish from Futaba, he did end up answering.

_(Yusuke): It was the fact that Akira was suffering and I didn't even realise anything was wrong._

_(Yusuke): That triggered it, mainly._

_(Yusuke): Plus the memories I have of Madarame._

_(Futaba): I know how you feel._

_(Futaba): Hearing Morgana say those things made me think of when I lived with my Uncle after Mom died._

_(Futaba): I just hope we can get to him in time_

_(Yusuke): I agree._

_(Yusuke): If he continues to suffer like this, I wouldn't be surprised if he forms a palace of his own._

_(Yusuke): Like a certain someone I know._

_(Futaba): Oh, HA HA_

_(Futaba): very funny ᕙ( ︡'︡益'︠)ง_

_(Yusuke): I wonder if such a thing is even possible? Considering he has a Persona_

_(Futaba): Heck if I know_

_(Futaba): I’m just...really worried._

_(Yusuke): I know I am not one for platitudes, but_

_(Yusuke): He has the will to survive. I think he will be fine. At least, until we get there._

_(Yusuke): Afterwards may be a different story_

_(Futaba): Trust me, you don't have to warn me about that._

_(Futaba): It's taken me this long to really get over all of my issues_

_(Futaba): And even then, I have off days_

_(Yusuke): Off days?_

_(Futaba): You know, days when I really get hung up over what happened._

_(Futaba): Where I sit back and realise, like ‘Wow. That really screwed me up, huh?’_

_(Yusuke): ...I can relate to that._

_(Futaba): Really??_

_(Yusuke): Sometimes, I find myself in the same mindset as I was back then_

_(Yusuke): For example, I’ll be walking somewhere and I will suddenly think ‘Oh, I must get that painting ready for Sensei by friday, or he won’t let me eat.’_

_(Yusuke): And I don't realise the reality of the situation until it all hits me at once a moment later_

_(Futaba): Omigosh, I feel the same way!!_

_(Futaba): It's like, I’ll go to bed and wake up in my room, and for a moment I think I’m back before all this started!_

_(Futaba): It’s why I have my calling card close to where I sleep._

_(Futaba): So when I wake up, I can remind myself I’m not that person anymore._

Futaba inwardly cringed. She hadn't meant to share that much information. _Did I make the conversation awkward?_ She wondered, letting out a deep sigh. When she heard the text notification she quickly opened up the chat again

_(Yusuke):...We are quite a pair, aren't we?_

Futaba let out a chuckle. _Dunno why I was worried, he’s just as weird as me._

_(Futaba): Hell yeah we are._

_(Futaba): Thanks for being deep and emo with me, Inari_

_(Futaba): I can always count on you_

_(Yusuke): I don't think I’ve heard the word emo before_

_(Yusuke): Isn't that a type of bird?_

_(Futaba): Your fucking with me_

_(Futaba): You’ve NEVER heard the word emo before??_

_(Yusuke): No. What does it mean?_

And just like that, the conversation went back to normal. Or, well, Yusuke's definition of normal. Futaba felt a smile spread across her face despite herself. She typed out a response, not being able to resist the urge to mess with him.

_(Futaba): Rawr XD_

_(Futaba): Mcr 4 lyfe_

_(Yusuke): ???_

_(Yusuke): I did a cursory google search and I’m even more confused now._

_(Yusuke): But, I want to thank you as well._

_(Yusuke): Expressing my emotions without using art has always been a challenge, but with you it feels very natural_

_(Futaba): Aw, shucks. Same goes for you_

_(Futaba): If you ever need me, I’ll be there (っ◔◡◔)っ ❤_

_(Yusuke): That's reassuring to hear._

_(Yusuke): But I must be going, I have to get up early tomorrow_

_(Futaba): Idk if I even can sleep, I’m so worried_

_(Yusuke): ...admittedly I feel the same, but I’m going to at least try to get a headstart on some rest_

_(Yusuke): Goodnight, Futaba. Do try to get some sleep tonight._

_(Futaba): Night, Inari._

\-----------------------------------------------

Guilt wasn't really a feeling Makoto was entirely used to.

Regret? Definitely. Shame, once or twice. But never this. This overwhelming feeling of guilt that seemed to come off her in waves.

Makoto pondered this as she walked home from LeBlanc, not really paying attention to where she was going. Her mind was too occupied with negative thinking. Thankfully, Haru was at her side, so she managed to not run into anything on her way home thanks to her. Even so, she couldn't stop going over the information they got from Morgana, trying to piece together exactly how she could have missed something so important. Haru’s words from earlier kept echoing in her mind.

_“So the signs were there...we just didn't notice until it was too late.”_

_How couldn't I have noticed?_ Makoto chided herself, letting out a sigh. Haru looked over towards the brunette, a concerned look on her face.

“Are you alright?” She had asked, snapping Makoto out of her thoughts. Makoto realized they had already arrived at the train station, the two of them standing on the platform. Taking the train with Haru had become routine after they first realized they both took the same one. Haru was staring at her expectedly, and Makoto felt she couldn't withstand the feeling anymore.

“Haru,” She spoke up, in hopes of getting the horrible feeling out of her chest. “Do you think…” 

“Yes?”

“Do you think I was too…” She paused, trying to find the right words. “Mean? Back there?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know,” She sighed. “When I suggested that we wait before going to get Akira.”

“Hmm,” Haru placed her hand on her chin. “I don't think so.”

“Really?” Makoto asked again, doubt in her voice. “Because...I’m worried that the rest of the group doesn't think I care about Akira. Which, of course I do!” She crossed her arms. “I’m just trying to think rationally about this.”

“Hey! C’mon, Makoto. I’m sure that no one thinks you don't care about him at all! That’s ridiculous.”

“You think so?”

“Absolutely.” Haru nodded. “We all understood where you were coming from.”

“I...I’m glad to hear that. But…” Makoto huffed in frustration. “I can't keep myself from still worrying about it. The last thing I want is Akira to end up in jail. Again.”

“Definitely.” Haru agreed. “Can’t you ask your sister for advice?”

Makoto nodded. “Yeah. I was gonna ask her when I got home.”

“Then stop beating yourself up about it!” Haru gave her a smile. “It will work out.”

Makoto shook her head with a smile. “You say that so confidently. I admire you for that.”

Haru blushed. “Ah. Really?”

“Yes, you’re always such an optimist!” Makoto smiled, her tone light. “I’m a bit jealous of you for that.”

Haru gave her a bittersweet smile. “Thank you, but...I wouldn't call myself an optimist.” She paused. “After my father died, it was hard to think of anything positive at all.”

“Haru…”

“But that part of my life is over, now.” Haru spoke lightheartedly. “It was thanks to you guys I was able to get over my hang ups with my father. Especially Akira.” She paused, watching another train on a different track pass them by. “I can't imagine what he’s going through right now.”

Makoto nodded, her heart feeling heavy once more. “He’s done so much for me...for us.” She amended after looking at Haru’s eager face. “We can't let him down.”

Haru shook her head, eyes determined. “No way. We _will_ get him out of there.”

The two girls hear the familiar _click-clack_ of the subway car as it draws closer towards the station, shocking them both. Makoto walks a few steps back from the edge of the platform, mindful of the gap, and smiles back towards Haru.

“Thanks for hearing me out, Haru. I really appreciate it.”

“Oh! It’s no problem.” Haru returns her smile for a moment before her expression suddenly changes, turning into something dark and full of rage. “We _will_ punish the terrible people who did this to him, correct?”

Makoto senses her resolve, and nods, determined. “Yes. And we will show them no mercy.”

The two girls nod resolutely at each other, and then walk into the subway car, fury in their wake.

\--------------------------------------

Ryuji slammed the front door to his apartment open, practically flinging the door off its hinges in the process. He was out of breath, his mind in overdrive. Each thought that crossed his mind was worse than the last, compiling until it was almost too hard to ignore. It got to the point that Ryuji had to run almost the entire way home, trying to get the thoughts out of his mind and lose himself in his running.

He quickly sped to his room, flinging himself onto his bed with force. The energy inside him was so full it could burst. He slammed his fist into the mattress, trying to relive some of the tension he was feeling. He shoved his face into his pillow.

“Damnit!” He practically screamed into the fabric. “God effin-” He flung himself away from the pillow, putting his face into his hands. No matter what he did, he couldn't get the thoughts to leave him alone.

He picked up his phone, staring at the home screen. Ryuji hated keeping all his emotions inside like this, it just wasn't who he was. But the one person he usually vented about these things...wasn't there, anymore. So he settled for the next best thing. He scrolled over to her contact picture and pressed the call button. It only rang for a moment before it connected.

“Hey, Ann.”

“Ryuji! Whats up?” Ann answered. There was a pause, Ryuji trying to find something to say. Eventually Ann spoke again. “It's about Akira, isn't it?”

Ryuji sighed. “Yeah.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Uh, Yeah, that's why I called.” Ryuji scratched his chin, trying to find a way to word what he was feeling. “It's just...you were right earlier. I...I should have told you guys about his bruise as soon as I saw it.”

“Ryuji-”

“I mean it. I just feel...so _guilty_ about it.” Ryuji clenched his teeth. “I’m just...so effin _mad_ at myself right now! I’m...I’m _just_ as bad as all those people who turned a blind eye when Kamoshida started abusing the volleyball team. Akira...he was suffering. And I didn't do a damn thing about it!!”

“Calm down!” Ann cut in. “It wasn't your fault!”

Ryuji sighed in frustration. “How is it not?! If I had told you guys, this wouldn't have happened! We could’ve convinced him to stay here, and stopped the… the abuse before it even started!” Ryuji flung his arms out, still trying to shake this overwhelming feeling of frustration. “It’s all my fault. Because of me, he went back to that place and started getting hurt again. And then his parents…God, I went through the _exact same shit_ and I _still_ didn't do anything to try to stop it-"

“Ryuji!” Ann practically yelled through the phone. “Stop this right now! You’re sounding like me!”

“Huh?”

Ann sighed. “When Shiho jumped, I thought the same things about myself. I thought it was my fault, and if I had spoken up I could’ve stopped it.” Ryuji started to respond, but then stopped himself, letting Ann continue. “But, I couldn’t have really done anything. I know that now. So no matter how much you think so, this wasn’t your fault. Okay?”

“But-”

“You told us he convinced you he was fine, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And he told you not to tell us?”

Ryuji shrugged. “I should’ve at least tried harder to-”

“No. You did as much as you could, Ryuji.” Ann spoke, her tone becoming softer. “If you had told us, it would've broken his trust in you. He would’ve hated you, and he might not have ever wanted to come back to Tokyo.” 

“But, he’s getting abused there, Ann. Him hating me would’ve been much better than-”

Ann scoffed. “You keep saying ‘maybe’ and ‘should’ and ‘would’. You gotta cut that out!” She sounded really pissed now. “If you keep getting caught up in the ‘maybe’s’, and ‘could have’s’, you're gonna drive yourself crazy.”

Ryuji looked down at the ground, kicking his leg outwards. “I guess...you’re right. But. I’m still mad at myself.”

“Look, I’ve been there, okay?” Ann’s tone turned softer. “And...it’s gonna suck, dealing with that shit. But I got through it. So I have no doubt you will too.”

Ryuji let out a bitter laugh. “If you say so.” He’s hit with a sudden feeling of overwhelming guilt. “God, I shouldn’t be wallowing in my feelings like this in the first place.”

“Ryuji, if I was there, I would’ve just hit you.”

“What? Why?”

“You gotta stop with the negative self-talk!” Ann commented. “The Ryuji I know would never doubt himself, he would just go all in, no holds barred!”

“Pff, you make it sound like I’m a fantasy character or something, when you put it like that.” Ryuji gave a small laugh. “I have been rude though, I haven't even asked how you're dealing with all this.”

“I’m okay, Ryuji.” Ann responds. “Well...okay as I can be. Once you hang up I’m gonna talk with Shiho about...everything. She’ll definitely have some good advice.”

“Cool. Alright.” Ryuji tensed. “I won't leave you waiting then. Tell Shiho hi for me, okay?”

“No problem.”

“Oh, and Ann?” He quickly spoke after her so she wouldn’t hang up. “Thank you. For… all this.”

Ann laughed on the other end of the line. “No problem. That’s what friends are for!”

And with that, the blonde on the other end hung up, letting Ryuji hear the dial tone. Ryuji sat up, massaging his temple, and made his way back into the kitchen. Even though he felt pretty nauseous, he figured he should at least try and eat something to keep his energy up.

Surprisingly, when he made his way downstairs he ran into his mother. She usually worked odd hours, so seeing her home so early was a bit of an anomaly. 

“Hey sweetie,” His mother replied, her voice full of concern. “Are you doing okay? You looked pretty bad when you rushed upstairs. You didn't even seem to notice me!” She chuckled.

Ryuji gave her a tired smile. “Yeah. I’m alright.” He paused, unsure if he should let her know. He eventually sighed and continued. “But...my friend isn't.”

His mom gave him a wide-eyed look. “What do you mean?”

Ryuji felt tears welling up, but refused to let them spill over. “Can I ask for your advice on something?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Well. That sure was fun to write. ;__;  
> -Can you tell I ship Futaba and Yusuke? Bc....wow. The only straight people I accept (jkjk) But don't worry, like I said before I'm not doing anything OVERTLY shippy in this fic. It's Gen and I'm KEEPING it Gen goddamnit.  
> -This chapter is brought to you by: My love-hate relationship with Chatfics  
> -This chapter is also brought to you by: Haru and Makoto's showtime animation. God. Them.  
> -I don't care what you say, Emo Futaba is real in my heart. You can take this headcanon from my cold dead hands.  
> -"You make me sound like some Fantasy character or something" *cough* MaGnUs BuRnSiDeS *cough*  
> -I may be a bit delayed for the next chapter bc I have EXAMS D: however, they are online so it shouldn't be that long of a wait. Plus, the next chapter is pretty short, so hopefully I'll have it out sooner than I think!  
> -Again, thanks to everyone for the kudos and comments. I'm so shook about it! Thanks so much for reading and stay safe!!!


	14. With some pathetic little dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: dissociation and violence

Akira felt like he was at his breaking point

He was in the middle of what felt like the longest school day of his life, sitting at his desk and hunching over to look like less of a target. He held his head up with one of his hands, looking out of the window and onto the school grounds below. 

The last few days seemed determined to kick him while he was down, never letting up for a moment. The days seemed to stretch long, the school days and his nights at home feeling more and more endless. Akira wasn't sure when exactly it started happening, but he started to space out for long periods of time. Everything he was feeling would just suddenly stop, and he would be overcome with a strange sensation. It felt like the world was just passing him by, as he sat and stared at the front of the classroom for hours on end, unblinking. Akira found himself relishing in the feeling, as it would make hours seem like mere minutes. But even with his bouts of spacing-out, the days still felt cruel and long. Each day was a slog, and when he finally did get home he couldn't rest. His parents had suddenly cracked down, flooding his schedule with meaningless chores that would keep him occupied for most of the day. For this reason, He dreaded going home even more, but he definitely didn't dread the walk there. He still half-expected to see Morgana suddenly show up on that walk home, and scold him for thinking he would ever leave. But the days passed, and he was constantly let down, the small cat nowhere to be seen. But that didn't stop Akira feeling hopeful whenever he started his walk home for the day.

The only saving grace was that Nanako would be back in town that night. She had left town because of her idol career a few days back, and Akira was anxious to see her again. He called her from the payphone the day before, and she informed him she would be back in the evening.  _ “Don't flake out on me!” _ She scolded through the phone, in a manner painfully similar to Caroline it nearly gave him whiplash. “ _ I’d better see you there! We have a lot to talk about.” _

As much as he looked forward to seeing her again, he also dreaded it. He knew that she would try and get him to talk about his emotions, which Akira hadn't really done before. Laying out everything he was feeling to someone...even the thought made Akira tense up.  _ I’m just gonna have to get through it, _ he told himself. 

Suddenly, the teacher,  Mrs.Arakaki, cleared her throat, getting the attention of the class and shocking Akria out of his thoughts. 

“Alright class, I know it's almost the end of the day, but settle down for _ at least  _ the next few minutes, okay? This is important information. We’re handing out report cards today.” A chorus of groans from the class was the response to her statement. Mrs. Arakaki looked world-weary, her expression very reminiscent of Kawakami. Akira let out a small smile at the memory of his homeroom teacher as she continued. “I know, I know. It's your own fault if you didn't do good, you know.” She lets out a sigh. “We already notified your families that you will be receiving these today, however, so make sure to show them it as soon as you get home.” 

Akira accepted his report card, and skimmed it, expectations lukewarm. He suddenly became overcome with shock as he skimmed it, staring starkly at the paper in his hands. He kept re-reading the grades over and over again, unbelieving. It consisted of all D’s and F’s. He had never gotten grades _ this _ bad before.

_ How did this happen?  _ He thought, still reeling.  _ I...I’m smarter than this. What happened?  _ His mind suddenly came to a screeching halt.  _ Oh god. My parents...He’s going to really kill me, isn't he? _

After this, it was almost impossible to pay attention to what anyone was saying. As soon as the class bell rang and he was dismissed from the room, he ran to the bathroom and threw up what little he had. His father had told him time and time again to keep his grades up, or he would be punished. And now, he was faced with a failing report card that he would have to show to his parents.  _ They’re gonna kick me out. _ He thinks, resting his head on the toilet seat. _ No, wait, they wouldn't do that. He’s probably just going to kick the absolute shit out of me.  _ He stared at the contents of his stomach, tears beginning to form. _ I’m so fucking pathetic. The great leader of the phantom thieves, reduced to this. Freaking out over a fucking report card. _

_ I can't do this anymore.  _ He suddenly thinks, sitting up and pulling the handle to flush the toilet. He cautiously stands up, his form still shaking. _ I can't go home. I can't face them. _

He exits the stall, fixes his hair in the mirror, and makes his way out of the building, feeling helpless. His stare was fixed on the ground as he walked, watching his feet move robotically forward. He felt like he was watching his whole body move on autopilot, unable to try and change anything. He felt like he was floating, the same feeling of zero gravity overtaking him when he was exploring the space vents in Okumura’s palace. The memory of that place sent shivers down his spine, and he let himself go further into the floating feeling, trying to escape from his memories. But no matter how hard he tried to lose himself and let go, the realization from earlier still echoed endlessly in his mind.  _ What should I do? Where will I go? Should I run away? No, my stuff is still home. I have to stay here, anyway. So...what…. _

He blinked suddenly, destroying his train of thought. He felt himself jolt back into reality, the instantaneous of it sending him reeling. He looked around, suddenly realizing it was dark outside. He was standing on the corner of an intersection, a light pole shining a yellow light down on him. It made him feel as if he was under a spotlight, filling him with Deja Vu. He stood there in shock for a moment, trying to get his bearings. He noticed, dully, a few moths buzzing around the streetlight. He went to pull out his phone, before realizing it wasn't on him anymore.

_ Where the hell am I? _ He thinks. He had no idea how he’d ended up here. All he remembered was letting his feet just kinda take him somewhere, anywhere but home. _ I must’ve spaced out again. _ He rationalized. He buried a hand into his hair, trying to clear his head.

He tries to decide what to do next. _ I probably should go home. But… _ He feels himself fill with intense fear at the mere thought of going back to face his father.  _ I...can't go home. I just can't. But I can't stay outside for the entire night. So, where…?  _ He lifts his head, and spots a payphone.  _ Ah. I could go to Nanako’s. She should be home by now.  _

With that, he placed his hands into his pockets and began to walk, trying to identify street signs. He remembered her address, but he had no idea where it was in relation to him. He curses the fact that he doesn’t have a phone for what feels like the hundredth time, and does what he can to try and figure out where he was. He spied a few street signs, all of them unfamiliar. 

It gets to the point where he just starts taking random turns, figuring that he was bound to find a familiar street somewhere. _ It’s not that big of a town,  _ he figures. _ I should eventually find a familiar street.  _ He goes down a back alley, and when he exits the small street, he immediately stops in his tracks.

The street he just arrived at would be unremarkable to anyone else. It was more of an ally, really. A few houses towered over it, casting long shadows over the pavement. A couple grates dotted the small road, stuffed full of multicolored bikes. The wind seemed to howl as it breezed through the narrow path. To anyone else, it would’ve just been a typical small road. 

But not to Akira Kurusu.

_This is where...I ran into_ _Shido_. He realises, taking a step back. _It started here._ He could practically hear the bastard, his voice branded into his brain ever since that day. 

_ “Damn Brat...I’ll Sue!” _

Akira shakes his head violently, sprinting fast towards the end of the ally. _ Not there. I can't go back there.  _ He runs through the street, heart pounding in his chest. He didn't know why he was feeling this way, all he knew was that he had to get away from that street. It brought back entirely too many bad memories.

He was almost at the end of the cursed road, when suddenly, a large group of shadowy figures appeared at the entrance. Akira stopped dead in his tracks, not wanting to run into them. He couldn't make out any of their faces.

“Kurusu.” A familiar voice spoke. He stepped into the streetlight, and sure enough, it was Takuro Soma. The same kid who had tried to beat him up a few weeks earlier and subsequently stopped by Nanako. His same group of friends surrounded him, each of them stepping out into the yellow glow of the streetlight. 

“Ah. Takuro.” Akira snarked back, standing up tall despite his nerves. “Nice to see you here.”

“Can it.” He practically growls in response. “It seems you didn't take the hint, did you? You're still here.” He shakes his head. “When are you going to understand that nobody wants you here? Everyone in this town wants you dead, Kurusu.”

_ As if I don't know that. _ Akira thinks but doesn't say.

“You got lucky last time.” Takuro comments. “Having that policeman’s daughter run in to save you. You’re so much of a coward that you need some little girl to come to your rescue?” He shakes his head. “Pathetic.”

Akira sees the punch coming from a mile away. He dodges away from it, and drops into a defensive stance. Takuro stumbles from it, sneering. “Get back here!”

Two guys from behind Takuro suddenly advance, arms out. Akira starts to run for the other end of the ally, but is quickly stopped by a firm grip on his wrist. Before he can pull away, another arm quickly grabs hold of him on his other side.

Akira’s mind runs into overdrive. He has no intention of simply taking the beating lying down, like last time. He was fed up with them, with the entire town. He can almost feel Satanael spark within him, setting fire to his skin and urging him to go down fighting. The memory of Lavenza’s voice echoes through his mind.  _ This truly is an unjust game. Your odds of winning are almost none. But...if my voice is reaching you…. _

Akira quickly goes limp and drops down, maneuvering out of the two men's grasp with ease. He jumps back up and from the group, lifting up his head to face the thugs in front of him.

_ Five guys. All unarmed.  _ Akira jerks to a defensive stance, a smirk painting his face.  _ I’ve faced worse. _

And with that thought, he lunged, gunning for the guy approaching him on the left. He flung out a fist, striking his target squarely in the nose, causing him to be flung back. The guy stumbled, gripping his now bloody nose. In his haste to get away, the guy stumbled over his own feet and fell. 

“Oi!” The guy on the right immediately retaliated, taking his friend's place. He tried to grab Akira’s arms to incapacitate him, but Akira’s reflexes allowed him to stay out of the other man's grip. Akira flung out his leg, kicking his aggressor right in the plexus. He stumbled back, coughing and clutching at his stomach.

Akira stood over the two fallen men, eyeing the rest of the group. He felt more alive in that moment then he ever felt in his entire stay home. He could almost feel the adrenaline being pumped into his body, he felt so keyed up. He tightened his fist and let out the same smirk he put on in the Metaverse, his instincts kicking in. 

“So.” Joker breathed out. “Who's next?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- remember when I said this was only going to be eleven chapters? Ahaha. me too. ( ╥ ͜ʖ ╥)  
> \- I just want y'all to know, one of the comments I had while I was writing this was 'That epic gamer moment when you dissociate'.  
> -I swear to god if I messed up who's Caroline and who's Justine I'm going to throw myself off a cliff.  
> -I totally didn't even realize Takuro's last name is the same name as the best recovery item in the game until right now. I...I just...I feel so stupid. I'm too lazy to change it...but...wow. I'm just full of dumb bitch juice, huh.  
> -Remember when I said there isn't going to be a fight scene? I lied. There's a fight scene. Lord help me.  
> -The wait for the last two chapters is gonna be quite long folks. I underestimated the amount of work I had to do for school and now I'm crying. I'm going to try to write both of the chapters in the spare time I have, so I can (hopefully?) start working on them again once my exams are over, which is around May 13th. Hope that's okay!  
> -Thanks again for all of the kudos and comments! Y'all are perfect. Stay safe out there!


	15. I hope you all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Violence

Unfortunately, this is where things took a turn for the worse.

The rest of the group charged him all at once, each of them aiming a blow his way. While Joker had dodged most of the blows, it was a close call. The three guys all charged at him once more, and he had to struggle to not get hit while also dealing damage to one of them himself.

Joker had faced multiple enemies on his own in the past, (Namely, during the gauntlet in Sae’s palace), so he figured he could handle it. But, as it turns out, in the real world, fighting was much more difficult. With every blow he dealt, he kept shoving down the urge to pull out a fake gun, or to summon a Persona that wouldn't appear. He did manage to land a few hits, knocking one of the men down. But as soon as he fell, Takuro took his place. His eyes were full of rage, and he lunged for him without any mercy. It took considerable effort to dodge his attacks, leaving Joker winded.

Eventually, his instincts betrayed him. He raised his hand to his face, intent on ripping off a mask that wasn't actually there. That moment of hesitation was enough for one of the guys to land a solid hit on him, and Akira went stumbling backward. The other men took advantage of this and began advancing on him in earnest, forcing him to back himself against the brick wall behind him.

There was a moment of stillness, before two of Takuro’s friends smiled, and lunged for him. Akira tried in vain to dodge out of the way, but the hit to his skull slowed his reaction time considerably, and he was caught in a storm of blows.

To make matters even worse, the three men he had eliminated before had now recovered enough to also begin wailing on him. Akira felt himself in the same exact position he was when he had defended himself against these guys before, curled up in a ball next to the all, trying to protect himself in that dingy alley. However, this time, there wasn't anyone to step in and save him. He felt a hard kick to his hip, it’s impact radiating pain.

_ Damn it! _ He scolded himself as blow after blow made impact with his body. _ I can fight better than that! How could I be so careless?! _

Akira saw a black boot swing back, and heard a solid crack noise fill his eardrums once it broke through the arms covering his chest and made impact with its target, followed by intense pain. He cried out, hand grabbing at his chest while the brutes above him laughed at his misery. 

There was a short pause in the hailstorm of blows, and then Takuro grabbed him by his clothes. He pulled Akira up, shoving him harshly against the wall. Takuro’s face was practically all he could see, his brown eyes reflecting the streetlights. He sneered, his stale breath invading Akira’s personal space.

“You shouldn’t have picked a fight with us, rat.” 

Takuro wrapped his hands around Akira’s throat and squeezed, the immense pressure making Akira gasp. He tried to cry out, but all that came out was a whine, making the other guys there laugh. Akira felt black at the edges of his vision.

_ Is he actually going to kill me? Am I going to die here?  _ Akira gasped for a breath, but the pressure from the hands were relentless.  _ Huh. This really is it. Then... _ He somehow felt a smile trying to grow on his face, the darkness pulling him more and more out of reality.  _ I won't have to do it myself after all. _

Suddenly, he heard a familiar voice.

“Hey asshole! Get your hands off him!”  
Immediately the pressure released on Akira’s throat, causing him to gasp for air. The pressure wasn't completely gone, but it softened enough where he could take a solid breath. The air was quiet after the outburst, the only noise Akira could hear being his own ragged breaths. Eventually, one of Takuro’s friends broke the silence.

“This has nothing to do with you.” He yelled, while Akira vainly tried to get his bearings on reality again. He could’ve sworn the voice from before was familiar, but...there's no way...

“Yeah. It's none of your business. Keep walking.” 

Akira lifted his head, trying in vain to see who had called away the guy's attention. All he could make out in the darkness was a shock of bright yellow hair.

“You’re damn right it’s my business!” The figure stepped into the light, revealing himself to the group in the alley.

“Ryuji.” Akira whispered, recognizing him instantly.

Sure enough, the blond stood there, arms crossed and expression fierce. A bunch of figures stepped out from behind him, all revealing themselves to be Akira’s teammates. Despite the pressure on his throat increasing once more, Akira let out a broken smile. 

“Yeah! L-Let him go!” Akira heard Futaba’s voice, her orange hair shining a bit in the light. One of Takuro’s friends stepped away from the pack surrounding him and advanced towards Akira’s friends.

“Oh yeah?” He smirked at the group. “Make us then.”

There was a moment of silence, filled with tension. When suddenly, Makoto stepped in front of the guy, her eyes fierce.

“Are you sure you wanna pick a fight over this? You could just leave.” 

The guy laughed. “Tch. I can take on a girl anyday.”

_ First mistake,  _ Akira thinks dazedly. Makoto lets out a smirk and strikes at the guy in a flurry of limbs. In only one or two hits, the guy is on the ground, clutching his face and moaning, Makoto standing triumphantly over him.

“How about a girl that knows Aikido?” She snarked back. The group of men surrounding Akira jumped back from the sudden display of violence.

“Yeah! Go Queen!!!” Ann cheered.

“Yo, Takuro.” One of the other guys tapped on Takuro’s shoulder. “Should we take them on? Or…”

Takuro smirked, his teeth inches from Akira’s face. “We can take ‘em.”

“Are you sure about that?” Makoto spoke up again, shifting into a defensive position as the men around Takuro started to advance.

“Lets get ‘em!” Ryuji suddenly yelled, taking another defensive stance right next to Makoto.

“No Mercy!” Akira heard the normally quiet Haru yell, a fierce expression on her face as she advanced forward, lunging her fist out at the first guy that was close to her.

Akira was roughly dropped to the ground by Takuro as soon as the chaos began, his mind fuzzy and disoriented. _ Are they actually here, or am I just crazy? _ He thought belatedly, as he tried to get his bearings and sit up. His mind felt sluggish, as if he was lagging in real life somehow. _ I really gotta stop listening to Futaba, her lingo’s growing on me,  _ he thinks absentmindedly. He heard the sound of fighting, but he couldn't manage to get his eyes to focus. He suddenly felt a presence next to him, their fuzzy outline overtaking his sight.

“Akira?” Futaba’s voice shook with worry.  _ Speak of the devil,  _ Akira thinks, trying to get his eyes to focus. All he could make out was her bright orange hair. “H-Hey! Stay with me!”

Akira tried to snark back, something along the lines of  _ ‘Not going anywhere’ _ , when he was overcome with a strong coughing fit. He felt more people surround him, and an arm grabs at his shoulder, their grip firm. 

“Can you hear me? Akira?” Ann's voice was loud, but felt like it was miles away from him. His first instinct was to flinch away from her grasp, his mind running off of adrenaline, but he held strong.  _ They’re my friends. My friends won't hurt me. _

“He might have a concussion. His nose _ does _ look a little crooked.” He heard Morgana remark, Ann’s hand at his shoulder falling away. “Not to mention his throat‘s all messed up.” He felt another person’s hand grip at his chin. 

“Where else does it hurt?” Yusuke’s deep baritone seemed to rumble through Akira’s entire brain. He closed his blurry eyes and tried to concentrate.

“Uh. R-ribs. Hip.” His voice squeaked out. “My head…”

Akira heard a flood of footsteps, and suddenly the world got a lot less loud. He cracked his eyes open, his vision shaking from left to right.

He could see both Futaba and Yusuke sitting next to him, clearly trying to see the extent of his injuries. Ann was standing, looking over the two, and Morgana’s fuzzy head was also in his line of sight. He looked over, and saw Ryuji, Makoto and Haru all coming towards the group, Takuro and his gang nowhere to be seen. The group surrounding Akira all looked over towards the others.

“What happened?” Ann asked.

Haru huffed happily. “We only had to fight them for a few minutes before they realised they were outmatched.”

“And...you’re all okay?”

“It wasn't really a fair fight.” Makoto nodded.

“One of them did manage to land a hit on me, though.” Ryuji proclaimed, rubbing at his cheek. “It's probably gonna bruise...but I’ll live. How’s Akira?”  
“Not...great.” Yusuke sighed. “He’s barely conscious.”

“Yeah. He seems really out of it.” Futaba added.

“I’m...here.” He gasped out, causing his friends to still in surprise for a moment before they all started talking at once.

“Omigosh, Akira!”

“Are you okay, dude?”

“How’s your head?”

Akira shook his head, trying to get everyone to quiet down. Despite how beat up he was, he tried to instill Joker’s tone back into his voice. “Calm down.” They all quieted, and Akira smiled weakly.  _ They still listen to me. _ He thinks belatedly, before speaking again. “I’m alright. I-” He’s suddenly cut off by another hacking fit. The number Takuro did on his throat was causing his voice to become dry and quiet. The coughs sent spirals of pain through his chest, causing him to wince.

“Like hell you’re alright!” Futaba blurted out. “You look like crap!”

“Wow, Thanks.” Akira deadpanned.

“This is _ serious _ , Akira.” Makoto sighed, but her tone was filled with worry. “What are your other injuries?”

“He said his ribs and his hip hurt, and Morgana said it looked like his nose was broken.” Yusuke interrupted before Akira could speak for himself. 

“Plus, he might have a concussion.” Ann mentioned. “I don't think he’s all there right now.” Akira was too exhausted to be offended that they were all talking about him as if he wasn't there. He shook his head again, trying to clear the fuzziness that still clung to his mind.

“Wait...a second” Akira suddenly interrupted them. “...I…I don't understand.”

“Huh? What d’you mean?” Futaba asked.

“Why are you all...here? How’d you...” he trailed off. Seeing them all appear out of the blue like that still had Akira reeling. He still wasn't sure if they all were actually here, or if he was just having an extremely realistic dream. His friends all shared guilty expressions for a moment before Haru spoke up.

“We’re here because...Well, we were worried about you. Morgana traveled all the way to Tokyo to tell us that you weren’t doing okay, so we knew we had to get down here to help you. We drove down about...oh, an hour ago?” The rest of the group nodded at Haru’s question.

“Yeah. We went to your house, but when we figured out you weren't there, we decided to drive around town and see if we could find you.” Makoto explained.

Ryuji shrugged. “Town’s not that big, anyway. We figured we’d find you eventually.”

Suddenly, Akira was hit with an intense emotion. His friends rushed all the way over to Inaba, a two hour drive, simply because they were worried about him. And then searched around the entire place looking for him. All because they were worried. The fact that they cared  _ this much _ was almost too much to bear. Akira felt something within him break, and tears started to well up in his eyes. He raised his hand to his face, trying to block his friends from seeing him this weak and fragile.  _ You don't deserve them. _ A toxic voice from within spat at him.  _ They care about you now, but once they see weakness they’ll abandon you. Just like everyone else. _

“Hey,” Morgana crawled into Akira’s lap, distracting him from his thoughts. “I’m sorry I left for so long without telling you. But, I had to get you help, Akira. You weren't doing so hot out here by yourself.” Morgana sighed. “I just want you to know that...It's okay. You don't have to hide anymore.” Akira peaked through his fingers to eye the cat. Morgana was giving him a strange look he couldn't define. “I mean it. We’re your friends. We won't judge you for this.” Akira felt his shoulders shake, the tears coming out heavier now.

“Ah! Are you okay? What's wrong?” Futaba asked, panic in her voice, her petite frame leaning against his.

“Is the pain worsening?” Yusuke asked from his opposite side. 

Akira shook his head again, tears spewing everywhere. “I...Just…” He felt someone's hands grab at his wrists, trying to get them away from his face. The pressure was gentle, he could’ve resisted it if he really wanted to. But, he let his hands be pulled away from his face, noticing that it was Makoto who was pulling at his wrists. He saw that all of his friends had migrated down to his level, sitting down in that alleyway, each of their expressions full of concern. Akira felt a smile grow on his face despite the tears. He gave out a bittersweet laugh. 

“I just...missed you guys. So much.”

It was like all the pressure in the air was released in one fell swoop. Each of his friends surged forward, and he was soon surrounded by an enormous group hug.

“Well, no shit! We missed you too!” Ryuji said.

“Yeah! More than anything!” Ann added.

“I missed you like a limb!”

Makoto sighed. “Futaba-”

“What!? I really did!”

They all sat there in that big group hug, but still bickering as usual. Akira felt a piece of himself return in that hug, each of his friends' presence feeling warm and close and...important. The talking quickly died down, and there they were: A bunch of rebellious, outcast teenagers, huddled together in that dingy street, holding him close. They stayed together until the tears stopped running down Akira’s face. 

After a long, long moment, they all pulled back. Akira fiercely wiped at his eyes.

“I’m still concerned over your injuries. We should get you somewhere safe.” Yusuke broke the silence. Ann nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, being out here isn't safe. Those guys could come back.”

“Nanako’s” Akira blurted out. “We should...go to Nanako’s.”

“Really? Her?” Morgana spoke up before anyone else, his furry face filled with disdain. “I’m not so sure about that.”

“Waitwaitwait, who exactly is this girl?” Ryuji asked.

“She's a friend.” Akira interrupts, not elaborating as usual. But he didn't have to.

“...She’s someone we met down here. She seems fine, but...I don't trust her.” Morgana grumbled.

Haru looked at the cat in shock. “Why not?”

Morgana sighed. “It's a long story, but...we figured out that she can hear me when I talk.” The entire group seemed taken aback.

“Wait seriously?” Futaba gasped out.

“Like… she can hear you talk?!”

“Yes, that's what I  _ just said _ , Ryuji.” Morgana shook his head. “She had a full conversation with me, but she says she doesn't know anything about the Metaverse. She rubs me the wrong way, and...I don't know if we should trust her.”

“It's our…” Akira coughed again, his body convulsing from the effort. He tried to clear his throat in vain before continuing. “Our only option. You can question her...all you want...once we’re inside and away from..” A shiver danced up his spine involuntarily. He tried to shove it down. “This place. Besides, I promised her…I’d be there...tonight.”

There was a pause from the group, before Makoto sighed. “Akira’s right. We need somewhere to regroup and assess the damage, we don't really have other options. So...it’ll have to do” She got up from the ground, dusting dirt off her skirt. “Where’s she live?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -hm. This feels rushed but FUCK IT im posting it anyway.  
> -I'm SO HAPPY y'all appreciated the name change from Akira to Joker last chapter. I added it super last minute and I was like 'I wonder if they'll u n d e r s t a n d the m e a n i n g" and you did!!! Thank you for that!!!  
> -another comment that I made while creating this chapter: "ugh literally kill me I'm just staring at this document not doing anything while listening to howls moving castle and I literally cant focus on ANYTHING ELSE but HOWLS FACE why do I only simp for anime men."  
> -also I got to the actual ROYAL part of P5 Royal (I took a break to focus on finals) and...that plot twist....wow. I won't spoil it, and if you comment PLEASE don't spoil it for others, but. Holy shit. I'm SO shook about it and I NEVER SAW IT COMING. That's all I'll say. Also, I've decided Kasumi is best girl now, don't @ me. (just kidding, Akechi is actually best girl. Have you SEEN that showtime animation!?!?!? I rest my case. )  
> -I hope the reunion was all you hoped for. But if it WASN'T, they talk a lot more in the next chapter, I know this is sloppy but trust me PLEASE.  
> -Also I added an epilogue. For...reasons. All will be revealed in time.  
> -Thanks again for reading! Please leave comments and kudos if you enjoyed! Stay safe out there!


	16. Can forgive me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Negative self talk

After giving Futaba the address, getting Akira to stand up was half the battle.

At first, Akira had insisted on trying to walk on his own, taking a few steps before nearly collapsing. After that blunder, his friends simply refused to make him walk by himself. _ I’m so pathetic I can't even walk on my own.  _ Akira hears a toxic voice spit at him. But at this point, he's too tired to care about it too much. He found himself being supported by both Ryuji and Makoto on each of his sides, their arms over his shoulders, and carrying a bit of his weight. Despite the help, each step he took caused a stab of agony to flow through him. There wasn't much talking, the air around the group entirely too tense for idle conversation.

The walk to Nanako’s house felt like it took years instead of mere minutes, but eventually they did get there. It was a small typical house, fitting in with the houses right next to it. You would’ve never even known an up and coming idol lived there.

Ryuji turns his head next to him towards Akira. “Is this the place?”

“Yeah.” Akira gasps out in response.

“See? I am a pretty good navigator even  _ outside  _ the metaverse.” Futaba jokes. “You guys are lucky I pay attention to street signs.”

Akira unfolds himself from his friends, taking a step forward to knock on the door. There were a few moments of shuffling from the other side before the door opened.

“A-Akira?!” Nanako stood in the doorway, clearly taken aback by the amount of people he had with him. “What-?!”

Akira gives her a smile. “Hey, Remember...those friends in Tokyo...I talked about? This is them.”

“Oh! Um, hello, everyone.” Nanako had a pure expression of shock on her face. “But, Akira, what happened!? Are you okay!?”

Akira shakes his head. “It was Takuro...and his friends.”

“Holy…” Nanako shakes her head, clearly overwhelmed. “C’mon, get in here! I can see what I can do to help.”

* * *

After a lengthy introduction to all of the former phantom thieves, and after they all sat down at her dining room table, Nanako started to try and help Akira out with his injuries. She placed salves on his bruises and used up some bandages from her first aid kit.

“That should do for now.” Nanako remarked, pulling away. “But you really should get your injuries checked out by a professional.”

“Why did those guys fight you in the first place, anyway?” Futaba asks from her spot next to him.

Akira hesitates, his mind racing. “Ah. Most people in this town...don't like me. Takuro is one of them.”

“I still don't understand that.” Ann comments, crossing her arms. “I mean, we got rid of your criminal record and everything!”

“Yes, but not everyone has the facts.” Haru shook her head from Akira’s other side.

Nanako nodded. “When he got arrested, it was all anybody could talk about for weeks. The story got crazy out of hand.” she shrugs.“Gossip is just another way to relieve boredom in this town.” After she spoke, she got up from her spot next to Akira, standing over the group. “I’m gonna see if we have more bandages for him.” She walked out of the room, leaving a pregnant pause in her wake. The whole group was staring right at Akira, each of their expressions full of concern. Akira shrunk under the combined weight of all their gazes.

“What I don't understand is, If...If no one here likes you, then...why'd you come back?” Ryuji spoke up, breaking the silence. “Aren't things way better for you in Tokyo, with us? Why did you feel like you had to come back?”

“It...felt like...it was something I had to do.” Akira starts. “...I didn't think it would be this bad.”

“Then why did you say anything during Golden week?” Morgana asks from his spot on the table. “I tried to get you to speak up, but you kept brushing it off. By then you  _ knew _ how terrible it was for you, being here. Why did you say anything?”

Akira hesitates before speaking. “I thought...I could handle it...on my own. That's...what I’ve always done. I...I probably  _ could’ve  _ handled it...if-if I just tried hard enough.”

There was a pause, and then Makoto spoke up, straightening her posture. “Akira, you know…” She sighed. “It's okay to be human sometimes.”

Akira flinches. “W-what?”

“To me, it seems like you stuck around here because...it felt like an obligation. Like it was something you had to tough it out all on your own, just because you're our leader.” She looks him in the eyes, her gaze seemingly piercing his soul. “I know what that's like. And, trust me when I say that... _ none  _ of us expect you to be perfect all the time. We never have.”

“Yeah! And if we’ve ever made you feel like that, then...” Ryuji continued. “We’re really sorry man. It's not fair of us to do that to you, of all people.”

“You...haven't…” Akira shakes his head, unable to form the correct words. 

Haru shakes her head. “I think we have. At some point, we all put you up on a pedestal, as our leader. Even if it wasn't intentional, it's still not okay.” Haru puts her hand on his shoulder, his body tensing from the contact. “You’re just as human as the rest of us, and I’m sorry for letting you down like this.”

“You all could...never let me down.” Akira practically mumbled. “I was...the one who messed up. If I had just...toughed it out, then-”

“Please, don't say those things about yourself, Akira.” Yusuke speaks up, interrupting whatever response Akira had planned. “As an artist, I know what it's like to strive for perfection. But, I only recently realized that a perfectionist mindset like that is quite harmful.  _ You  _ were the one who helped me realize that.”

“Y-Yeah! What Inari said!” Futaba agreed. “It's okay if you're not at full HP all the time, you know. Plus, what you went through...it isn't really something you can just ‘tough out’. I know that from experience.” Futaba adjusts her glasses, blushing a bit. “And...you’ve helped me so much with that. Heck, you’ve helped  _ all _ of us out with our issues at some point. S-So it's up to us to be there for you from now on!”

Akira could feel tears forming behind his eyes. He paused for a moment before deciding to speak. “I...just...Th-thank you. All of you.” He wiped his eyes and looked down, the tension he held within him suddenly vanishing in a single exhale. _ I didn't know how much I wanted-...no, how much I  _ needed _ to hear that until right now.  _ He thinks absently.  _ I thought that...they’d be better off without me. But, they all care so _ much  _ about me.  _ He lifted his head to see all of his friends smiling back at him, their facets earnest and open.  _ How did I ever exist without them? _

Suddenly, Nanako appeared in the room again. The mood in the room shifted, the previous feeling in the air shattering around them.

“Here, I managed to find a few more.” she spoke up, dropping a few bandages onto the table next to him.

“Do you even know how to help him?” Morgana narrowed his eyes at Nanako. “Seems to me like you’re just winging it.”

Nanako gave the cat a smile. “C’mon, I know  _ some  _ things. My dad taught me some emergency first aid a while ago.”

Haru jumped in surprise at Nanako’s response. “Oh, wow! I forgot you told us she can understand Morgana!” she remarked towards Akira.

Morgana huffed. “Yeah. I still think it's verrryyy suspicious.” 

“H-Hey!” Nanako blushed, trying to defend herself. “I already told you! I don't know why I can hear you either.”

“Are you  _ sure  _ you haven't encountered the Metaverse before?” Morgana questioned, clearly still suspicious.

Nanako shrugged. “Like I said before, I got no idea what the whole...Meta-thing even is.” 

“Well… have you ever gone somewhere and realised it was really weird? And like...not right? Or…” Ann faltered for a moment “I’m not sure how to ask this question.” 

Futaba lit up. “Oh, I know! What's the weirdest thing that's ever happened to you?”

“Weird how?”

“You know like…In terms of like...supernatural things.” Futaba blushed and shrank back, all confidence she had gone in an instant.

Nanako looked at her for a moment, nonplussed, before a strange expression crossed her face. Recognition sparked in her eyes. “Hmm...now that you mention it…” Nanako looked conflicted, her hand coming up to her chin. All eyes in the room centered on her as she took a breath to collect her thoughts. “When I was really little, there were a couple of really weird murders that happened here. I doubt you would remember it, Akira.” She glanced over to him. “We were both pretty young. The only reason _ I _ remember is because it was around the same time my brother first started staying with us.”

The thing was, Akira did remember. He vaguely remembered his childhood during that time: hearing the rumors flung around on the playground, his parents arguing about it. A half-formed memory suddenly sprung to the front of his mind.

“The fog…” Akira breathed out, much to the surprise of everyone in the room.

“Yeah! There was also that creepy yellow fog that rolled in around that time.” Nanako's gaze turned soft towards him. “I’m honestly surprised you remembered that, I nearly forgot about the fog myself!”

“Wait, but…” Makoto interrupted. “What do you mean by ‘weird’ murders?”  
Nanako shook her head. “It was unreal. Someone would go missing, and then their bodies would be hung up by telephone wires a few days later.” Everyone in the room besides Akira seemed taken aback by Nanako’s information.

Ryuji shook his head. “For real?! No way!” 

“That sounds really scary!” Haru remarked.

“You never said you lived in a _ spooky _ mystery town, Akira!” Futaba cried, tugging on his black jacket. “Why didn’t you tell  _ us _ about that?”

Akira shrugged. “I...honestly forgot...all about it. I was only like...ten or nine.”

Nanako nodded and continued. “There was practically no evidence to even find a good, plausible suspect. It drove my dad crazy…” She took in all of their expressions of confusion and rushed to clarify. “My Dad used to be a detective. He’s retired now, but he was the lead investigator on that case. The whole situation just  _ completely  _ stressed him out.”

“Did he end up catching the culprit?” Yusuke asked.

“Yeah. He did...” Nanako sighed and looked tormented. “I...I really don't remember much of this, but. According to what I  _ do _ remember, I was kidnapped by one of the guys helping out with the murders.” She shrugged. “If it weren't for my dad and my brother rescuing me, I would’ve been the final victim.”

Haru gasped, putting her hand to her mouth. “Oh my goodness!”

Ryuji huffed out a breath. “That’s crazy!”

“Why you?” Makoto asked bluntly. “Was there any reason why you specifically were kidnapped?”

Nanako shrugged again. “I was the daughter of the main detective on the case, so I assume that's the reason.” She shakes her head, her hands coming up to massage her temples. “The guy must’ve drugged me, though, because I had  _ crazy  _ weird fever dreams when I was with him. It's one of the only things I remember from the whole ordeal.” She paused before continuing. “When I woke up, I was in the hospital. My brother and my Dad managed to save me  _ and  _ catch the guy, so it all worked out. My dad ended up crashing his car while he carried out the rescue, so he was in the hospital with me.” She gave a small shrug. “Apparently I flatlined after they rescued me, so I was actually dead for a little while there.”

“Join the club.” Akira huffs, causing a few of his friends to smile.

“What?”

“Nothing.” 

Nanako looked at him suspiciously before she sighed. “Point is, that's the weirdest thing that has probably happened to me, specifically those freaky hallucinations I had. But other than that, my life’s been pretty normal.” She suddenly sprung up for a moment. “I mean, if you’re not counting that time I performed onstage with Kanamin when I was younger.”

Futaba looked at her with wide eyes. “K-Kanamin? You mean, Kanamin Kitchen, Kanamin?”

Nanako smiled. “Yep! It was super fun.”

“I’m sorry, who is this...Kanamin?” Yusuke asked.

“She's a really famous idol!” Ann piped in. “ _ Now  _ I know where I remember you from! I must’ve watched your performance with her when I was younger. This  _ whole time _ I felt like I recognized you but I didn't know where from. It was driving me nuts!” 

“Aw! That's nice to hear!” Nanako looked cheerful before the smile ran away from her face, replaced by a look of confusion. “Actually...I remember lots of really weird things happened around  _ that  _ time too…” She shook her head. “But...the only thing I can remember clearly is my brother talking about...Bonds? Or something?”

“Okay, okay, hold on. We’re getting off track.” Morgana butt in. “What  _ exactly  _ did you hallucinate when you were younger, Nanako? I want specifics!!”

Nanako closed her eyes, a look of concentration on her face. “Um, I remember I thought I was in heaven, because I saw a bunch of pearly white gates and roses everywhere. The guy who kidnapped me...like...transformed into a monster at some point? And my brother was also somehow there?” She opened her eyes, a crooked smile on her face. “I dunno. It was so long ago.”

“Hmm…” Morgana purred. “That does kinda sound like the Metaverse…but...”

“It could just be trauma influencing her memory.” Makoto finished for the cat.

Nanako shook her head. “Either way, it doesn't matter now. They caught the guy, he confessed to his crimes, and no one else got hurt.” 

Suddenly, the sound of footsteps echoed into the small living room. Practically everyone jumped in response to the sudden noise.

“Who's there? Nanako?” An older voice called out. It only took a few more moments for the figure to come down the stairs. Nanako’s father stood in the doorway, wearing navy blue pajamas and looking extremely sleep deprived. While he did look significantly older than he did in the pictures on the mantle, he was still recognizable as Nanako’s dad.

“Dad!” Nanako spoke in alarm, cluing the rest of the group in the room to his identity. “I...thought you were asleep.” She continued sheepishly.

The older man chuckled. “I was. But...you know. Always been a light sleeper.” His eyes survey the room, falling on each of Akira’s friends. “Who’re these? More of your idol friends?”

“Oh, nonono!” Nanako quickly responded. “These are Akira’s friends.” 

Ann snorted under her breath. “As if any of us could be an  _ idol _ . Especially Ryuji.”

“Hey, I heard that!”

“He got roughed up a bit, so his friends brought me here so he could get some help.” Nanako interrupted, motioning toward Akira. He froze after feeling the older man’s gaze on him. 

“Akira…” The older man looked thoughtful. “Ah! You must be that Kurusu kid I keep hearing about.” Akira tensed even more. “Although, Most of the things I’ve heard haven't painted a very pretty picture.”

The mood in the air shifted, all of Akira’s friends suddenly glaring daggers at Nanako’s father. Akira swallowed, eager to break the tension in the air. “Ah. I can...leave. If you want.”

Nanako’s father looked him over for a moment before shaking his head. “No, That would just be cruel of me, kicking you out when you're hurt like this. Besides, I suspected most of those rumors were made up anyway, after Nanako told me about you.” The icy glares aimed at the older man evaporated, and the entire group seemed to let out a breath of relief. 

“Th-Thank you.”

“It's nothing.” He said, reaching his hand out. “I’m Ryotaro Dojima. It's nice to finally meet you.”

Akira took his hand, wincing at the pain that danced up his ribs once he decided to move his arm up to meet his. Unfortunately, the show of weakness didn't escape the older Dojima’s notice, his expression morphing into one of concern. “You doing okay? You look like you’ve been to hell and back.”

Akira shook his head, and then immediately regretted it, reeling at the aftershocks of dizziness that rampaged through his skull.

Nanako sighed, immediately seeing his distress. “You really need to learn when to ask for help, Akira.” She looked back at her father guiltily. “I don't think I did a good enough job patching him up the first time.”

“Hmph. No kidding.” Though his words were harsh, Nanako’s father had a smile on his face as he said them.

“Hey! I tried my best!” She hit him fondly, and started to make her way back towards the bathroom. “C’mon Dad, help me pick the right stuff out of the first aid kit this time.”

“You just don't want to admit I’m probably better at this than you are.” He teased.

“Shush!” Nanako scolded at him before turning back towards the group. “We’ll be right back.”

There was a moment of silence as the two Dojima’s left, their muttered voices echoing a bit from down the hall. Eventually, Morgana spoke up from his spot on the living room table. “So.” Morgana’s voice was low. “Do you think we can trust her story?” 

“I mean, I think so.” Futaba whispered back.

“Yes. She doesn't seem outwardly malicious.” Yusuke agreed.

“Plus, it’s not like she's trying to join our group or anything, unlike...you know. Akechi.” Makoto cringed from his name, as did the rest of the group. It was the first time Akira had heard his name mentioned in the group since around the time when he had died, and the realisation made him feel a little hollow. Makoto continued on. “We should be able to trust her and her dad for now. Unless…?” She looked over at Akira.

Akira nodded. “We can trust her.”

Nanako quickly returned with her father, arms full of ibuprofen and a bunch of other medical supplies. Dojima-san got to work trying to see what he could fix, doing a quick check for a concussion, broken ribs, and other injuries. There were still many things he couldn't even begin to fix however, and he realised this as he pulled away.

“He definitely has a concussion.” Dojima-san spoke, his voice full of authority. “He may also have bruised ribs, I’m not sure.” He shook his head. “You need to take him to a hospital. I may have helped with a lot of injuries during my time on the force, but I’m no nurse. They can help him better than I can.” 

“Okay. Where’s the nearest hospital?” Makoto asked.

Akira shook his head. “Wait.” Despite his quiet voice, everyone’s attention was immediately drawn to him. “I...can't go to a hospital.”

“What?!” Ryuji burst out. “Why the hell not?!”  
Akira winced. “They’ll...charge my parents. With the bill. They...won’t like that.” He finished lamely. Akira watched as all of his teammates looked at him with sympathy. Heck, even Dojima was leveling him with a knowing gaze. _Wait...does everyone…_ He looked over at Morgana, who was the only one not looking at him. _Figures, Morgana would tell them everything._ He sighed. _It can't be helped. They would’ve figured it out anyway._ He tried to comfort himself in that fact, but the thought did nothing to quiet the negative voice in his head. It was practically screaming at this point. _They know you’re weak now.They know that you can barely function nowadays, don't they? They knew about how you need to be perfect. So, they must know_ everything, _now. Theyknowtheyknowthey-_

“Then...where are we supposed to take you?” Yusuke asked, shocking Akira violently out of his thoughts. “You need medical help.”

“...Takemi.” Akira coughed after he said the woman's name, his throat wrecked at this point from having to speak so much. He swallowed as much as his dry throat could allow and soldiered on despite the pain. 

“Wait...you mean, Dr. Takemi? Yogen- _ Jaya _ Takemi!?” Morgana spoke up. 

Futaba sprang up from her spot next to him. “Akira, no! It's a two hour drive to Tokyo, and you might have really serious internal injuries!” Futaba blushed and shrunk back in her seat, still not completely over her issue with strangers. She mumbled out the next few words. “For all we know, you wont even _ last _ that long.” 

“I can make it.” Akira growled out, finally getting his breathing under control. Despite his wrecked voice, he tried to inject as much of Joker as he could into his words. “If it...gets worse on the way... then we can stop...at a Hospital. But. Takemi can help.”

“Lemme get this straight.” Dojima interrupted. “You wanna see a doctor all the way in Tokyo, right? Why her, specifically?” 

“I can trust her.” Akira clarifies. “And she won’t...charge me.”

“Akira…” Haru sighed. “I don't know...you’re really hurt...”

“You could make the injuries worse on the way there.” Yusuke agreed. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

Akira nodded, determination evident in his eyes. The rest of the group stared at him with concern, but all Akira could see was pity.  _ See, they think you can't handle it.  _ Akira’s negative self-talk sparked up again.  _ Now that they know about your parents, they've seen your tears... Even after all they said, they still think you’re weak. _

“For the record,” Nanako spoke up, getting his attention. “I don't think this is a good idea.”

Dojima-san shook his head. “Me and you both, kid. I don't like this at all.”

“You can't. force me to go...I won't.” Akira feels the spark of defiance in him again. He knows that as an adult in this situation, Dojima-san could very well force Akira into a hospital now matter what he says. While the pain did feel terrible, Akira didn't trust going to anyone but Takemi, not after all that had happened. 

Dojima-san put his hands up in surrender. “Calm down, I’m not going to. Believe it or not, I understand the situation you’re in.” He looked around the room, and sighed. “I still have some contacts on the force, and...I know they’ve been getting noise complaints about your residence for weeks now.” Akira feels his blood freeze up in his veins. “It's not that hard to assume things at your home aren't the greatest.” Akira finds himself staring resolutely at a wood defect on the table in front of him, unwilling to make eye contact with anyone in the room. He feels his hands clench as Dojima-san continues. 

“Plus, this family knows a thing or two about medical bills. If you say this women will help you without charging you or alerting your parents…” He sighed. “Then I guess I can't stop you. But if the pain gets even  _ slightly _ worse, you gotta bite the bullet and head to the nearest hospital. Okay?” Akira nods numbly, and Dojima-san turns toward the rest of the group. “I’m counting on you guys to hold him to that.”

The rest of his friends nodded, each of their faces filled with determination. 

“No problem!” Ryuji pipes up.

“We’ll make sure he’s safe, Dojima-san.” Yusuke agrees.

“Trust me, if it comes to that, we’re dragging him to that hospital kicking and screaming.” Makoto confirms.  _ God, I missed them.  _ Akira thinks again. “I still don't think this is a good idea, even if we do stop…” Makoto continued, crossed her arms. “But...if you’re  _ really sure _ you can make it, then...” she sighed. “Let's hit the road.”

Akira let out a sigh, happy that they had all agreed. Futaba leaned in closer to him, snaking an arm around his hunched form.

“Let's get you home, then!” She remarked cheerfully, dissolving the remaining tension in the room.

* * *

The rest of their stay at the Dojima residence was kind of a blur for Akira, as well as short lived. Makoto left for a while to get the van from where it had been parked, Ryuji tagging along just in case they ran into Takuro and his friends again. After a short moment, the two returned, the van in tow. The group quickly left the small house afterwards, saying their farewells to the older Dojima as he went back upstairs to get back to sleep.

Akira, Makoto and Yusuke stepped out of the house last, Akira’s arm around the two of them in support once again. A twinge of disappointment sparks within himself at the thought of needing help just to  _ walk _ , but he dismisses it quickly, too exhausted to care. He leans harder onto his friends, eager to get out of this place as fast as possible. Just as they exit the house and enter the sidewalk, Nanako stops them.

“Hey…” Nanako sighed, “I wanted to tell you, I think...I might ask my brother about what happened when I got kidnapped...when he stops by for a visit again, obviously.” 

“Really?” Makoto asked.

“Yeah. He probably remembers more about what happened back then than I do.” She rubbed her hands together, clearly anxious. “I...I want to know what _ really  _ happened.”

“Are you sure?” Yusuke asked, staring the smaller girl down. “In my experience, you may hear something you wish you had never learned. Do you think you’re ready to face the truth?”  
Nanako nodded, gaze resolute. “Absolutely. Plus, if what you guys say is true, and what I hallucinated back then might have actually been real…” She sighed. “Then I want to know why my brother was there in the first place. He might know something about this whole...Meta-thing.”

Akira looks at her for a moment, and untangles his arms from his friend's grip. 

“Akira, what-”

“I need to...say something to Nanako...for a moment,” He explains. “Go on without me. I can walk...the rest of the way...to the van”

The two of them look at each other before turning back to Akira, their faces full of doubt, but eventually the two reluctantly pull away from him, leaving him standing on the sidewalk alone.

“So? What was so important?” Nanako’s voice is full of mirth, but her eyes are concerned.

“I just...I just wanted to say, thank you.” He tells her. She smiles, and steps forward so they are closer together

“No, thank you.” She laughs softly. “Please make sure to text me when you get there.” She adjusted a piece of her brown hair behind her ear. “I want to know when you're safe.”

Akira takes a step forward and gingerly hugs Nanako, wrapping his arms around her small form, causing her hands to half-raise in surprise. While the action caused his ribs to flare, he couldn't find it within himself to care. “I meant. Thank you for...everything else. For the...ways you helped me. Before tonight.”

He feels Nanako let out a huff, her hands coming down to rest on his back, returning the hug. “Anytime.” He lets go of her, giving her one final smile before turning away and walking towards the van. He takes two shakey steps towards the vehicle before Futaba is right there, letting him lean on her. He gives her a questioning look, not even noticing her sneak up right next to him.

“Hey! Don't look at me like that!” Futaba huffs. “I just  _ so happen _ to be the perfect size for you to lean on, and I wasn't gonna leave you hanging!”

Akira smiles and makes his way inside the van with Futaba’s help. Most of his friends were already inside, so he rushes to get in, eager to leave. He manages to get into the middle seat, Futaba following him right behind him and Ryuji on his left. Akira sat himself down next to his friends, the feeling of pure exhaustion taking over him, before he realized something.

“My stuff.” Akira almost whispered. “I need...to get my stuff...at home.” 

“Don't worry, we got you.” Ryuji piped up, gesturing over to the back of the car. “We stopped by your house when we were looking for you, and we managed to grab all your stuff. With Morgana’s help, of course.”

“Here!” Morgana jumped up into Futaba’s lap from the floor of the van, his voice somewhat muffled by the article of clothing he held in his mouth. Akira accepted the fabric, taking it from the feline’s mouth with shaking hands. He recognized it as his favorite hoodie, the one he wore that first day since he was back and then subsequently as much as he could during his entire stay home. 

“I figured you’d miss that, so I made sure to get it.” Morgana stated proudly. Akira brought the worn fabric close, closing his eyes to try and stop tears. _ I shouldn’t be crying over a hoodie. _ He tells himself, unfolding it and trying to place it up and over himself. While it was a challenge, since pain kept dancing up and down his sides and chest, he did manage to get the hoodie on without any help. As soon as he was engulfed in the fabric, he felt ten times better.

Akira suddenly cringed. “Did my…”

“You parents?” Makoto interrupted.

“Yeah. Did they...freak out or…”

Makoto looked conflicted before she sighed. “They took it surprisingly well. We told them we were taking you back and they just...accepted it.”

Akira sighed. Some part of him was actually disappointed his parents didn't fight for him more. _ I shouldn't have expected anything else.  _ He tells himself, sinking deeper into the leather of the van.

“They did say some pretty mean things though,” Haru mentioned. “I had to stop Ryuji from just punching them right then and there.”

Akira looked over at the blonde and gave a smirk. “Really?”

“...Yeah,” Ryuji admitted, blush on his face. “I didn't actually hit them, but it was a close call. I just...couldn't stand hearing them talk all that shit about you, ya know?”

Akira felt entirely much too undeserving of his wonderful friends at that moment. He gave out a small bitter chuckle, starting off a coughing fit that wreaked havoc on his ribs.

“Okay, new rule,” Ann piped up from the passenger seat, buckling her seatbelt. “No more making Akira laugh.”

“Aw, what?” Futaba groaned. “But I was so ready to cheer him up with puns!”

“Not until he’s better you're not.” Ann added, looking over to the backseat and smiling.

Makoto started the car, the hum of the engine somehow soothing amidst the chaos that was his friend group. She turned back to Akira. “Anything you wanna say to this place before you leave?”

Akira looked at her for a moment, before nodding. “Start driving.” He told her, raising his arms to open the sunroof. The action caused a bunch of pain to spark up on his ribs, making him wince. Suddenly, a different pair of hands from behind him reached over and opened the small glass pane for him.

“I’ll repeat what Nanako said,” Yusuke commented from the backseat, taking his hands away from the sunroof. “You really need to learn when to accept help.” 

Akira smiled and nodded, raising himself so his front half was sticking out of the van. He was struck with a rush of nostalgia from when he first left with his friends, as well as a pang of sadness. The wind rushed through his hair as the van breezed past the town streets, and he took off his glasses, careful so that they wouldn't fly away. 

Although his voice was gone, that wasn't going to stop him from expressing exactly how he felt. As the roads and houses of his hometown rushed past him, all he could do was let out a bitter smile, and raise his hand to the sky, middle finger extended.

_ Fuck this place. _ Akira thinks as hard as he can.  _ I’m never coming back.  _

“Hell yeah!” Akira heard Ryuji’s voice from beneath him, “Eff this place, dude!!”

And as the small van drove through the streets, the cheers of his friends echoing similar sentiments into the night air, Akira felt like he was flying on top of the world. For the first time in a long time, he finally felt free again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Sorry this chapter took awhile, this bitch is INSANELY LONG so I hope that justifies it.  
> -DON'T WORRY the story isn't completely done, I still have an epilogue planned out! MORE COMFORT IS ON THE WAY  
> -I hope the two Dojima's aren't OOC. God. I'm praying they aren't. My excuse is that its been a while since I played P4.  
> -After I wrote this I just stood there sitting at my computer bc I JUST realized Nanako and Akechi share the Justice arcana. How did I not realize this sooner. Fuck.  
> -Do they have free healthcare in Japan??? My research suggests yes, but not all the time??? Do they at least have hospital fees??? It doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things but I'm keeping Dojima's line bc I like it too much  
> -I hope the ending wasn't too cheesy for you. It felt cheesy to write but. I cannot resist the writing gremlin that lives in my brain. He told me to do it so I did it.  
> -Also I finished Royal two days ago. Fuck. It made me cry like a bitch. Why did Atlus do this. THAT POST CREDIT SCENE THOUGH!!!!!!! AHHH!!! okok thats all I'll say no spoilers.  
> -Thanks again for reading! Please leave comments and kudos if you enjoyed! Stay tuned for the final chapter and stay safe out there!


	17. Epilogue

Once they finally did get home, and once he got patched up by Dr.Takemi, Akira had to answer a lot of uncomfortable questions. 

Not only to Takemi, where he had to list off all of his injuries over the past couple of months as she checked him over to see if there was any lasting damage. She had peppered him with questions about his attacks and where they exactly had hit him, trying to treat him as best she could. He did _ actually _ have a concussion, as well as a busted nose and a few broken fingers that hadn't healed correctly. Akira had never noticed how they were slightly off center they were until Takemi had pointed it out to him. Thankfully, his ribs were merely bruised and not cracked or broken. 

She didn't ask any questions about the scars on his thighs. Akira wasn't sure whether he should be thankful or disappointed. She just treated them silently. When all was said and done, she gave him creme for his bruises, some painkillers and sent him on his way. But as he left, she practically forced a lollipop on him, which she only gave to her really young patients. When Akira tried to protest, she gave him a glare that somehow conveyed sternness and concern at the same time. He ended up taking the candy, anyway.

Unfortunately, that was the easy part. He also had to answer a lot of questions from his friends. Which, to put it lightly, was not fun. They had wanted to know about everything, every excruciating detail. Akira answered as best he could, trying not to go too into detail about the really messed up parts. Morgana called him out a few times, but he was able to get through the conversation without going into too much detail about his time away.

He doesn't mention the scars on his thighs. He doesn't mention much about how he felt the days Morgana wasn't there. He doesn't mention how truely, utterly lonely he had felt. How he had really almost considered….

Well. Point is, he doesn't mention it. 

When it was all over and everyone had been sufficiently cried out, Futaba ended up taking the chip he got from his phone and restoring all his photos for safekeeping. She eventually bought him a brand new phone, thanks to her investment in cryptocurrency. Akira makes a point not to question it too much.

He also ended up having to explain everything to Sojiro, which went a little faster than talking to his friends, but still wasn't a pleasant experience. He could barely stand the fact that his friends knew what happened, so telling Sojiro felt like a huge deal when it probably wasn't. He only told Sojiro the necessary facts, leaving out all the details. When he was done, Sojiro had a strange look on his face, one that Akira hadn't seen him make before.

“Listen, kid, I…” he sighed. “I’m sorry all that happened. If I knew…” he shook his head. “Well. No use worrying about it now.” 

He patted him twice on the shoulder, and that was that. Sojiro never asked for any details, and for that Akira was eternally grateful.

* * *

Sae eventually had asked if he wanted to pursue any legal action a few days after he’d been home. She had entered the cafe, no Makoto this time, with a hard look on her face. 

“Kurusu.” She barked, then winced when he flinched violently.  _ Are you gonna react like that every single time now? Pathetic.  _ Akira tried to tune his thoughts out and focus on Sae. She continued, albeit quieter this time. “I need to talk with you.”

Akira simply nodded, and moved behind the counter to begin making her usual order. She sat at the countertop awkwardly for a moment before clearing her throat.”It’s, um. About your custody.” Akira flinched again, but luckily he was facing away from her. He only just managed not to pour the boiling water on himself. “Technically, your status right now is a runaway. I’m sure it's only a matter of time before your parents report you, either as missing or as-”

“You give them too much credit.” Akira interrupts quietly, turning suddenly and placing her coffee down in front of her. “I doubt they’ll say anything.”

“Right. Well. In any case,” She brushes a bit of her silver hair behind her ear. “You’re still legally their son. They’re still listed as your emergency contact. And...you could change that.”

Akira raises his eyebrows and leans on the counter in response. Sae takes a sip of her coffee and continues. “I’ve been talking to Sojiro, and since he’s registered as a foster parent, he’s fully capable of taking you in.” She sighs. “I know you turn into an adult later this year, so he would only be your guardian until then, but. You wouldn't legally have to speak to your parents ever again. Plus, you could get enrolled back in Shujin with no problems.”

Akira looks downward, unsure of what exactly he was feeling. He cleared his throat. “Hm. Was Sojiro okay with it?”

“Trust me, he was. He was surprised you didn't ask to do it in the first place, if anything.” Sae straightens in her seat. “You can talk it over with him, if you really want. And you don't have to make a decision about it right away. I’m just giving you the option to remove yourself from them permanently. And I’d be there helping you every step of the way, if you want.”

“Don't you have more important things to be doing?”

She shakes her head, a small smile on her face. “You’ve done so much for me. This is nothing in comparison.” She gets up out of her chair, grabbing her bag in one swift motion. Akira didn't even notice that she’d finished her coffee. “Just...think it over okay? I’ll be in touch.”

* * *

It took a few days for Akira to come to a decision. He decided to talk with Sojiro about it, springing the question on him two days later as he was closing the store.

“Are you…?” Akira suddenly looked down. He wasn't sure how to phrase it. Sojiro simply waited patiently for him to continue. “I talked with Sae.”

“Ah.” Sojiro responded. “About your custody, right?” 

Akira nodded. “Do you really want me to stay with you or…?”  _ do you just feel obligated to.  _ his mind finishes for him. 

Sojiro gives him a sly smile. “Of course I do. What would I do without my favorite barista?” Akira deflated a little at that.  _ You’re just a bottom line to him after all, _ his mind spat at him. Sojiro noticed and quickly backtracked, waving his hands. “Well, I mean, what I’m trying to say…” He let out a sigh. “You’ve really grown on me, kid. I can't just sit by and let those...those _ people  _ still have some control over your life.” He spat out the word ‘people’ like it was poisonous. “I told you that you were always welcome here, and I stand by that.”

Akira nods, some of his worries subsiding. But not all of them. He felt the long forgotten question spring to his lips, and without thinking, he whispered it out. 

“Didn’t...Didn’t you only take me in last year because you needed money?” 

Sojiro gave him a long stare. “...At first, maybe. But not anymore.” He placed a hand on his shoulders, and Akira lightly flinched but held strong as he continued. “I care about you kid. I’ll support whatever decision you make. If you really don't want me to be your guardian, then that's fine. It won't hurt my feelings. But if you do decide to stay with me, I won't let you down. I can promise you that.”

Akira felt tears form in his eyes, for some reason, and quickly shut them. Sojiro stepped away, and when Akira opened his eyes again he saw no pity in his expression. “It's your choice.”

* * *

In the end, he chose to separate himself from them. Not only would it be better for him in the long run, if anything were to come up, but he could get back into school with no problems. ‘Back to normal’, he phrased it when he eventually told his decision to Sae. She had warned him that he would definitely be obligated to see his parents at least once if he decided this option, but Akira still decided to go through with it regardless. Sojiro had lit up when he told him the news, and was cheery for practically the whole week afterwards. Futaba also took it pretty well, proudly calling him her ‘loser older brother’ at any chance she got. That's also, coincidentally, how all of Akira’s friends found out. They were chatting in the cafe when Futaba suddenly burst in, loudly exclaiming his new status as her step brother. They also all took it surprisingly well, congratulating both him and Sojiro. Akira had blushed at the reveal, but felt eternally thankful they didn't treat it as a huge deal. It was at that moment he knew he had made the right decision.

He did end up having to see his parents again, as Sae promised. The legal side of things was backed up for a while, so he had a few weeks where he could almost forget it was happening. Besides when Sae updated him, of course. Eventually, though, he did have to go into Sae’s office to see them for one last time. When his parents showed up at her office to sign his life away, they barely had any emotion on their faces. If anything, they looked bored. He sat across from them at the desk, right next to Sojiro, and tried not to look them in the eye. Sae did most of the talking, reading them what they were and were not entitled to do, in terms of contact with him. Akira tuned most of it out, as they agreed to each of his terms with surprisingly little pushback. After what felt like forever, Sae took out the papers and his parents started to sign them. After his mother finished her swooping signature, she looked upwards at Akira. 

“So that's it? We’re free from you then?”

Akira flinched, but Sae cut in before he could respond. “We just need you to sign this last thing, and then you can go.”

His mother let out a breathy sigh, her face lighting up. “Oh, good.” She moved to sign it, but then her husband stopped her.

“Let me read it first.”

“Really? I just want to get this over with.” She bemoaned, passing the paper off to his father. Akira’s hands clenched into fist, hardly pressing them into his legs as he watched his father skim the page. His scars, despite being fully healed, seemed to twinge in response under his hands. He taps his chin and hands it back.

“Oh, alright.”

His mother signs it quickly, and then gets up to leave. “Goodbye then!” She chirps casually, as if she was leaving him for a few hours and not for the rest of his life. She walks out, her husband close behind her. Right as they were leaving, his father suddenly turned to stare back at Akira. Akira felt himself filled with fear at the glare, almost as potent as when he was hit with the effect in the metaverse.

“Remember. You’re not our son.” He said with finality. “You stopped being our son after you beat up that politician. I expected nothing from you, and you still let me down. What a waste.” Sojiro stood up, about to speak, but his father simply put one hand up, silencing him and taking a step out of the door. “So don't contact us. Ever.”

And just like that, he was gone. Akira let out the breath he was holding in a singular woosh, his hands shaking from their spot on his lap. It took more effort than he thought to push down his tears, but he managed not to make them spill over, thankfully. He didn't want to look away from the door, he didn't want to see the mirroring expressions of pity in both Sojiro and Sae’s faces. He didn't think he could bear it. He saw Sae collecting papers from the corner of his eye, and after a brief, intense silence, he felt Sojiro’s calm hand on his shoulder.

“C’mon. He...forget about him. Lets get home.”

Akira nodded sharply in response, and said nothing the entire car ride home.

* * *

In those first few days, Akira really struggled to put what he had experienced behind him.

He still flinched when people would raise their voices near him, or when people called out his name suddenly. It took him much longer then he should have to get comfortable around people again. Especially Sojiro. Which Akira knew was unfair, but everytime he heard his steps approaching Akira could only think of his father and his looming presence.

He did eventually get used to it. But sometimes, when he wasn't thinking, his experiences would come flooding back. He would sometimes get so overwhelmed he would shut down, unable to breath.

One such time happened in front of Ann once, memorably. He had been out to get crepes with her and Shiho when he overheard two girls talking nearby. Their voices were high and vapid, giving Akira a headache.

“Seriously, Mitski? If you didn't want that crepe then why’d you order it?”

“I dunno, it's weird. I’m just not hungry all of the sudden.”

The other girl shook her head. “What a waste.”

The words suddenly caused him to take a sharp breath, his air now feeling limited. Something about them felt achingly familiar. It's then the last words of his father struck through his head like a bullet.  _ What a waste. I expected nothing from you, and you still let me down. _

The whole world felt muted, all of the sudden. He heard someone talking to him, but it was as if he was underwater. And then the voice slowly faded away all together, and he felt himself back in the cramped office, his father's eyes like piercing fire. Akira felt himself fill with fear again at the memory, his balance suddenly leaving him. The last words his father said wouldn't stop echoing through his brain.

_ I expected nothing from you, and you still let me down. What a waste. Remember. You’re not our son. Remember. You’re not our son. You’re not our son. You’re not- _

He felt a blistering pain on the side of his face. The abrupt shock of it caused him to rush back to reality. He came back into himself all at once, staring up at Ann in shock. He realized from her position that she had slapped him. His glasses were lying a bit away from him.  _ Must’ve flung off my face when she hit me. _ He realized. He noticed that the three of them were now standing in a small alley, away from the foot traffic.

Ann was blushing heavily, waving her hands around. “Omigosh I’m so so sorry! I just...I didn't know what to do!” 

“I can't believe you did that Ann!” Shiho scolded her, and then turned back to Akira. “Are you okay?”

“Y-Yeah. But what…?”

“I dunno, you just...stopped existing. It was like someone turned you off.” Ann explained. “I’m really sorry for slapping you! I just...you weren't responding at all.”  
“I _told_ Ann you’re supposed to ride these things out, but she didn't listen.” Shiho sighed. “But I’m glad you’re out of it. Do you remember what set you off?”

“I…” He looked back out into the street. “One of those girls she...said…” he felt like he was going to throw up. He didn't want to repeat what she said.

“Here,” Shiho gave Akira her phone, the screen open on the notes app. “If you can't say it, could you type out what she said? So we know to avoid it.”

Akira stares at it for a moment before taking it with shaking hands.  _ This is stupid, _ he thinks dully as he types out ‘What a waste’.  _ I’m overreacting.  _ Even typing the words hurt, but he somehow managed. When he hands it back to her, he clarifies. “It's one of the last things my...my dad said to me. When he…”

“Oh, Akira.” Ann looks at him with sympathy as she reads them. 

“Are you guys not close?” Shiho asks softly.

Akira lets out a shaky smile. “You don't know the half of it.”

“I...I just, I’m still confused. What happened to you?” Ann asked, making eye contact with Akira. He shrunk a bit away from it. “You just shut down without any warning. Was it because of those words?”  
Akira didn't know exactly what to say, but Shiho jumped in before he could make a decision. “Yeah. I’m pretty sure that was a panic attack. I had them a couple times, so I know how much it sucks.” She gives a self-deprecating smile to Akira. “Have you had one before?”

Akira thinks, and then nods.  _ That time on the roof.  _ He thinks.  _ And when my dad… _ he shuts down the train of thought before it gains any steam.

Shiho just nods. “Do you remember what triggered it that time?” He nods. “Then try to write that down, also.” Akira quickly grabs his phone back, typing out the words _. ‘No dozing off.’  _ painfully pressing each letter down with force. His fingers felt frozen by the time he finished and handed it back to Shiho and Ann.

“Where...Where did you hear this?” Ann asked as she read the words. Shiho slapped her arm and she bit back. “Hey!”

“It’s not our job to know where the words came from. It is our job to make sure we don't say them again by accident, otherwise it may happen again.” Shiho turns off her phone and stuffs it away. “If that ever happens again, here's what I want you to do.”

She began telling him a bunch of small things he could do to try and help him through it if it ever happened again. It was pretty helpful, and while she was giving him instruction Akira was reminded of the moment he had with Nanako in the phone booth. _ I should give her a text, _ he reminds himself for later. It had been a while since he had texted her last, but they had kept up contact after he had moved away. Once Shiho had finished helping him and Ann had bent down and retrieved his glasses, the three of them were making their way out of the alley and back onto the main street. Akira turned back to the smaller girl.

“Thank you, Shiho.” He whispered.

Shiho merely blushed and bumped his arm with hers. “It’s nothing. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’ll be there.”

Ann puts her arm around the both of them, squeezing her way in between the two. “Okay! That was  _ wayyyy _ too many emotions for one day. Wanna go get a replacement crepe? Yours fell on the ground.”

Akira merely chuckled and nodded as they walked their way back to the stand, Ann’s hand holding him tightly on his shoulder.

* * *

Ann was never a good secret keeper, so by the end of the week most of the other thieves knew what had happened. Even with Ann texting the group chat the words to avoid and purposely not giving any context, their group was just too curious not to want to know exactly what happened. Not that Akira blamed her, if he was in the same position, he would’ve told the others as well. It still didn't help when they all started lightly making suggestions for him to start going to a therapist. Futaba had been the most pushy with it, going so far as to hack into his phone and show ads for local therapist offices. Akira eventually relented, making a promise to see a therapist by the end of the month. When the time did come, he got set up with a relaxed counselor who seemed to know what he was doing. Akira got a diagnosis and a prescription for medication at the end of his first session.

But even with starting therapy, Akira never could put his experiences completely behind. Luckily, it seemed none of his friends expected him too.

Despite the fact they could all see he had changed, they treated him the same. None of them treated him as if he was broken, nor had they started tip-toeing around him. It was like he had never moved away in the first place. The only person who treated him a bit differently was Morgana. The cat would stay close to him twenty-four-seven, but that fact became more of a comfort than an annoyance. A reminder that he wasn't alone anymore. He was still able to joke around with Ryuji at the arcade, go batting with Makoto, see weird art with Yusuke, go clothes shopping with Ann, go electronic shopping with Futaba, have tea with Haru, and nothing felt out of place. They all showed him that they were there for him, in their own little ways. The biggest thing for Akira was that they didn't abandon him. Even after he had shown them his weakness, they had stayed.

So when Akira is surrounded by all his friends in a typical afternoon at LeBlanc, he forgets about what happened. He forgets about the scars on his legs. He forgets about the pain he went through. He just sits with his friends and knows that he will be okay, even after all he’s been through. So he lets all of his pain go and laughs with his friends, while he still can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -okokok SORRY this took so long my bad. At last she is finally finished praise the lord. This feels rushed but yall have been waiting for SO LONG so here she is. i may edit it later but I want this bitch OUT.  
> -Also yes the girl is named Mitski bc she's all I listen to anymore. I know its cringy but. She's been my background music for almost this entire fic. The other one was MCR and THEY got a shoutout. So she's getting one too. I don't care what anyone says, this is my fic I get to choose the cringe.  
> -Also Ann and Shiho weren't supposed to be here but a ghost took over my body and forced me to write them. God. I ship them SO HARD if you couldn't tell. but again, its implied, this fic is STAYING GEN GODDAMNIT.  
> -I'm so glad you all liked my story! That's alot of kudos man! I admit I mostly wrote this bc a bitch was going THROUGH IT, but I feel like I've really evolved as a writer through this fic. I look back at the earlier chapters and I'm like....'who wrote this'. SO thanks for sticking with this dumpster fire for so long, y'all the real ones.  
> -All the love in the comments makes me SO SOFT!!! If you commented on this fic just know that I love and appreciate you with all my heart like y'all really been helping my self esteem.  
> -Shoutout to my friend Kat for listening to me scream about Persona 24/7. I made that bitch a POWERPOINT explaining everything that happens in P5 just so I could rant about it to her. She has suffered so much, I'm so sorry Kat.  
> -Also if you like my writing then check out my other fics! I just released a P5R one shot about Akechi and Kasumi and I'm lowkey proud of it ngl. (I'm also gonna update it soon teehee) I might post more Persona content in the future who knows Esp cause I'm replaying P4G and....my boy Yosuke is making me emotional once again. Goddamnit. Fuck. I love him.  
> -Here's my [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/van-goghs-cypress). Leave a kudos or a comment if you haven't, and thanks again for giving me so much love! Stay safe!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [DECKLESS](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28159317) by [Mistwolf_Magic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mistwolf_Magic/pseuds/Mistwolf_Magic)




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